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Back in ‘06

We’ve gotten a few emails about the lack of posts recently, so in case you missed it, we’re on a little break but will be back at the start of the New Year with a bang.

Happy Holidays!

Transfer Window Special: Who do we need?

Who do we need? It’s an age old question debated in pubs, message boards, and even text message throughout the world. Every club has had all of the transfer window to get it right and yet has invariably failed to pick up the right players where everyone can see the side needs it most - apart from the manager, of course.

It doesn’t matter if you’re Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool, Tottenham, Newcastle, Wigan, Charlton, Fulham, Bolton, Blackburn, Everton, Aston Villa, Portsmouth, Sunderland, West Brom, West Ham, Middlesbrough, Manchester City, or Arsenal - the transfer window always leaves us wanting more.

Well with only weeks until the newest false dawn begins, we wanted to hear from you:

1) Who do you support?
2) Where does your side need strengthening?
3) Who do you think the team should (or will) sign to do so?
4) Do you think your club will get it right?

Answers in the comments section and, as always, best comment gets a delightful pack of prawn cocktail crisps sent to their address.

Best Wishes from CaughtOffside

With the holiday period coming quickly, there may be a scarcity of posts as the COS team spends less time ranting and raving about football and more time…well…ranting and raving but surrounded by family rather than computers.

We’ll be back in full force at the start of the New Year, with plenty of transfer-window related action and more than our fair share of biased and poorly constructed opinions. We’re also planning to start introducing plenty of competitions and giveaways in case Santa fails to deliver yet again.

See you then, best of luck to your clubs.

The COS team

Bogarde continues to make us all proud

His hilarious and pointless time at Chelsea may have come to an end, but Winston Bogarde has added another, literal, chapter to his legendary story as the personification of everything wrong with modern football. A small excerpt from his new book, “‘Deze neger buigt voor niemand’ (This black man bows for no one)

‘Why should I throw fifteen million euro away when it is already mine? At the moment I signed it was in fact my money, my contract. Both sides agreed wholeheartedly. I could go elsewhere to play for less, but you have to understand my history to understand I would never do that. I used to be poor as a kid, did not have anything to spend or something to play with. This world is about money, so when you are offered those millions you take them. Few people will ever earn so many. I am one of the few fortunates who do. I may be one of the worst buys in the history of the Premiership, but I don’t care.’

Outstanding. Admittedly we probably all have a bit of a bias when it comes to the sentimental, badge-kissing-i’ll-always-be-here side of football. It would also be difficult to objectively say that we should expect someone - in any field - to turn down millions to do nothing and instead go continue with a job that pays less, probably having to re-locate in the process. His honesty may not be appreciated by many fans, but it certainly is refreshing during a time when backstabbing and all-round gutless behaviour seems the order of the day.

Boggs: First to topple Chelsea? Easy…

Boggs puts head over heart as he makes his pick for the team to bring down the Roman empire: United may have the Premiership’s most successful manager (for now), the money to spend on players and (err…for now), of course, Wayne Rooney. Arsenal may have the Premiership’s second most successful manager, Thierry Henry in his prime, and a host of young talent that rival any of Europe’s top clubs. But the Liverpool are easily my pick as the first club who will win the league from Chelsea in the Roman era.

I’m not saying Chelsea will give up their title this season, or even next, but it will happen at some point and when it does it will be the current European Champions who do it. Here’s five reasons why:
Read more

Your Say: What’s Your Excuse for Essien/Mourinho Now?

Slakr’s hatred for all things blue continues to fester after watching some sorry scenes in the Champions League:
So this edition of Your Say has some rather special rules this week. First, its only open to those who have seen video (replay or live) of the Essien assault on Didi Hamann. Second, we would like to separate out Chelsea fans from the rest of the bunch, so just a quick indication of your team would be appreciated (this is on the assumption that there are decent Chelsea fans, who are equally horrified by their manager and player). But onto the actual point.

I cannot believe that any one in general can come up with things that exhibit less class than Mourinho. But this week he seems to have beaten even his lowly standards after he accused the Liverpool bench of crying all game in response to questions about Essien’s assault. So since we don’t expect to hear anything reasonable out of either of them, we figured we’d let the CaughtOffside fans loose on it. You’re in Mourinho’s shoes. What’s your excuse?

Best comment gets a personal email of congratulations from our editorial team. Can’t really ask for more than that can you?

Oh Holy Night…

Slakr reckons this magical night was almost as good as one he remembers from twelve months ago…

Read more

Given shows Souey how to be a man

Unlike some people, Shay Given has made a point of putting the blame for Newcastle’s crap form on the shoulders of the players on the pitch rather than those off it.

“We have got to dig deep,” he stressed. “In an ideal world we would have all our players fit and you would see our real team, but other teams are the same and we have got to get on with it. Other teams have injuries and suspensions.

“If you are waiting for Kieron Dyer you could be waiting all season because he has been injured for so long.”

Too right, moaning about problems that affect all clubs has never really sat well with fans, media, or club chairmen so it’s a wonder why so many Premiership bosses continue to roll out the same old excuses. Newcastle have admitedly had a hard time of it from an injuries perspective but there’s no sympathy for having a whinge about it everytime things don’t go your way.

For Given, a player who has been one of the best keepers in the league for years, the exasperation of not getting anywhere is beginning to show

“Another season of under-achievement? You can’t deny that,” he said.

“We have got to improve because it’s not good enough for a club of this size and stature. We need to get back into Europe, we miss Europe.”

Yeah he did it!!!

Good for Gary Neville, despite mean, unfair, and biased reports to the contrary the England full back was handed the Manchester United captaincy and will now lead the club in the post-Keane era. He always looked the part and was surely the more logical choice as he’s shown an unwavering committment to the team and his manager.

“I’ve had a chat with Ruud but I think it’s the right decision, given the service Gary has given this club,” said Ferguson.

Van Nistlerooy was equally happy for his chum,

“I took great pride in leading the team out in a difficult period,” said the Dutchman.

“I enjoyed it a lot and did it with great pride, but I would make the same decision as the manager.

“I think Gary is the perfect captain for our team. You can’t wish for any more in a captain.”

So pat on the back for the Neviller, hopefully he will decide that his ridiculous beard is not suitable attire for such a prestigious position.

Slakr: Don’t Touch my Crouch

Slakr argues passionately that Peter Crouch needs to be left alone.

So I’d like to see Peter Crouch banging in dozens of goals every season as much as the next Liverpool fan. And it does frustrate me that he’s not doing that at the moment. But at the end of the day we’re winning games at the moment, and he’s been a big part of why we’re winning. So while I wish that his balls were getting into the back of the net regularly, I think its time for the pundits to lay off my Crouch.

Read more

Jewell quite a sarcastic bloke, really

He guided Wigan to a delightful push up the table that had them as Chelsea’s closest challengers for a while, had his side playing good attacking football, remained humble throughout, even while earning back-to-back Manager of the Month awards. So what more can be said about Paul Jewell?

Well, sarcastic bastard is a start - in a good way of course. After losing their last two Premiership matches to Arsenal and Tottenham, it seems some segments of Wigan’s fans are remarkably criticizing the some players for not pulling their weight.

“I keep forgetting we are Wigan and we should be top of the league week-in and week-out,” said Jewell. “But I know some of the supporters are getting a bit anxious because we’ve lost to Arsenal and Tottenham. We’ve slipped to fifth in the league, so we are really panicking.”

“There’s all kinds of crises going on here at the moment, so it was good to get a victory against a top side like Newcastle.

“It’s not about me, but one or two things have been coming back to me that some of the players have been criticised. I find that unbelievable.”

Read more

Apparently someone actually does like him

So apparently we were wrong. Someone actually does like David O’Leary.

Poise over at Villa Talk has written an article, controversially titled “Leave O’Leary Alone”, in support of the awful manager. Injuries, unrealistic fan expectation and lack of funds are blamed rather than any incompetance from the Aston Villa boss, which is nice, but you’d be hard pressed to find any club without the same complaints (even Mourinho probably wishes he was given the 200million to buy Ronaldinho).

Still, much respect is due to Poise.

Big Sam can’t stop moaning

Sam Allardyce has continued his latest hobby of whinging about things that are patently his fault to begin with. First, he kept going on about losing players to the African Nations Cup despite, we hope, knowing full well the implications of signing them in the first place. Now, he’s still moaning about the fact that Graham Poll and his referee team decided to use earpiece technology to keep in constant contact with each other throughout Bolton’s match against Fulham.

So what does Allardyce object to? Is it the instant communication between a match referee and his linesmen? Is it the speed with which he can receive their opinion on key decisions he perhaps didn’t get decent look at?

“It must have had an influence on Graham Poll’s decision making to cause so much mayhem between two sets of players,” he said on Sky Sports News. “A man of his experience should not have allowed that happen.

“We have come away not very happy about the outcome and being fined for receiving that amount of bookings and it is something I have expressed to the people concerned.”

That’s it. No complaints about particular decisions or evidence that the new technology affected the match adversely, Graham Poll’s earpiece didn’t fall out at inopportune moments leading to missed penalty claims, Big Sam is just upset he ‘wasn’t told’ and instead saw seven of his Bolton players almost certainly rightly booked for their thug tactics now that the match official finally received the entire story for each incident. He’s angry because maybe he would have told Kevin Davies not to drive his elbow into the temple of Fulham’s defenders had he known that he would’ve been caught.

“The big problem is the fact we should have been told well in advance for the reasons they were going to use it and we should have been told why they were going to use it and we should have had the opportunity to say no.

“This is a high profile game and if we want to allow someone to experiment in a game that could maybe affect the result one way or another, we should have the opportunity to say no if we think it might hinder us. We did not have that opportunity and that’s what upsets me the most.

No you shouldn’t. You don’t have the bloody right to say no to the offside rule, or refuse to play only one goalkeeper so why would a manager be given the right to refuse technology that can only benefit the game?

Just yet another ill-thought out whinge from a man who is quickly losing respect amongst football fans (at least as far as we can tell from the message boards).