Three Changes To Win England The World Cup

June 28, 2006

Sven sucks. England suck. Everyone sucks.

Depending on who you listen to - the football has been crap, the defense less than confident on set pieces, goalkeeper is flapping at crosses, wingers are diving, striker’s aren’t scoring, manager has one eye on Madrid, central midfield can’t perform for their country, and the squad engages in Wicca rituals at halftime.

While the World Cup’s biggest underachievers thus far may yet Greece their way to the World Cup final, common sense would say that England can only ride their luck so far. It’s fair to say that virtually everyone has a few suggestions as to how to get the squad playing the kind of football that makes us believe they can actually topple the likes of Brazil, Argentina and, more importantly, Portugal.

So if you had up to just three changes to make to the England squad; tactics, players, length of socks - anything - to get England to the final, what would they be?

Comments

11 Responses to “Three Changes To Win England The World Cup”

  1. Fred
    on June 28th, 2006 10:47 pm

    1. drop Beckham and play Aaron Lennon
    2. drop Lampard, and play Gerrard with Hargreaves
    3. Crouch and Rooney upfront

  2. wools
    on June 28th, 2006 10:51 pm

    1. Ditto, Lennon in
    2. Keep 4-5-1 but make Lampard remember where the bloody goal is. Rooney on his own.
    3. Carragher in for Ferdinand, Rio is as lazy as ever and terry has had to cover him too much

  3. ponderous
    on June 29th, 2006 1:12 am

    Accept Shevchenko Messi and Ronaldinho as British citizens?

  4. Dan
    on June 29th, 2006 3:29 am

    Sack sven onm the spot (don’t even wait ’till end of the world cup)
    Reform squad (no wallcott(fowler instead)),(no crouch(ashton instead)No Beckham
    King or Carragher in for Rio

  5. Dan
    on June 29th, 2006 3:30 am

    Ooops I forgot King was injured

  6. Anonymous
    on June 29th, 2006 6:35 am

    Dan, you’re a muppet.

    As much as it pains me to say it, don’t think you can drop Beckham. More than half our goals are coming from his set pieces whether you like it or not, Lennon is needed as well so to be honest I’m not sure what the best thing to do is.

    Maybe give them a half each? Lennon for 3 minutes is not enough.

  7. Dan
    on June 29th, 2006 10:53 pm

    It is true that Lennon is useless at starting against good defences rather that comeing off the bench(he is good at starting against crap defences). However beckham does pump in the crosses but they don’t come from the byline because beckham is unable to beat the defender to the byline. The only thing he is good at is set-pieces and he’s gting shit at them too (remember agianst sweden)

  8. Dan
    on June 29th, 2006 10:53 pm

    sorry shit is a bit too harsh

  9. Dan
    on June 29th, 2006 10:54 pm

    i meant over-rated (he’s not exactly roberto carlos

  10. Deco
    on June 30th, 2006 5:44 am

    England 1 Portugal 3

  11. Dan
    on June 30th, 2006 5:46 am

    I have to agree with you ‘Deco’ England go on about there ‘individual talent’ when just about every team in the tornament has that. In short the fucking aussies would beat them

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