Boggs: I hate Andy Gray

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Boggs has a real puffin in his boot as he adds another unsuspecting, and probably uncaring, person to ‘The List’.

I hate Fat Sam. I hate him even more now that the bastard masterminded yet another win over Tottenham. I just take heart that he will never sleep well again knowing that possibly his only ever chance to become England manager has come and gone, despite adorably making a PowerPoint presentation to state his case to the FA. Although the rejection does seem to have dented his trademark arrogance somewhat.

But a new nemesis has arisen this season – Andy Gray. I’m not sure if it’s the novelty accent, the obvious 5-minutes-too-late insights, his complete lack of tactical knowledge (pictured) or the fact that his F365 column has “Britain’s Best Football Pundit” plastered across the top, but something about him really puts a puffin in my boot.

A quick gander over his recent catalog of material reveals such compelling and insightful pieces as “The (World Cup) Refereeing Has Been Awful“. Of course it’s difficult to come up with a truly original point of view, but isn’t that precisely what “Britain’s Best Football Pundit” is paid a pretty penny for? Setting himself apart from hacks like myself? Time and time again I read his column and fail to come away with anything new, useful or even remotely interesting. His work provides as much information as any generic news article you’d find on Sky Sports or the BBC, only written by an illiterate van driver and published under the guise of punditry.

So as I look forward to yet another season of my one-way feud with Allardyce, here’s hoping that Andy Gray continues doing what he does best…nothing. Because with those two fueling as outlets for my anger, I won’t have to resort to beating hobos the next time Tottenham …well… ‘do a Tottenham’.