Boggs beats children with sticks to relieve his anger after reading another of Andy “Britain’s Best Football Pundit” Gray’s columns.

There is no ‘pundit’ in the entire free world that just rubs my tits all over the place as much as Andy Gray. Hansen and Lawro don’t even enter into it. These pundits are paid handsomely to deliver expert and informative opinons, not toss.
Speaking of which,

pundit (puhn-dit)

1. a learned person, expert, or authority.
2. a person who makes comments or judgements, esp. in an authoritative manner; critic or commentator

Nowhere in that definition is “mindblowing abilty to state the obvious” mentioned. Read a few of his articles, you will be stunned by the amount of information that he seemingly picked up from reading MATCH! while taking a dump and his column has morphed into some kind of delayed reporting of the news – neither timely nor offering unique insight. Some excerpts from his latest classic piece of football analysis:

What’s amazing is that after most teams have played two games, only one has got the maximum six points. And this was a Premiership that was supposed to be so predictable…

Yes, the fact that after TWO matches Chelsea are not top leads us to believe that the world has turned upside down. And is Manchester United leading the way that much of a shocker?

I said before the season that I fancied them (United) above anyone to challenge Chelsea and on the evidence of the opening two games I was right.

Again, the statistical significance of a sample size of two aside, consider that paycheck earned! Not to mention the fact that he’s patting himself on the back for a successful prediction, moments after telling everyone how unpredictable the Premiership is.

The rest of it isn’t even worth dissecting. But if you imagine Andy Gray was reading 5 second match reports to you from the weekend, that’s pretty much the same experience. Only at least then you could have laughed at his silly accent and thrown hot coffee in his face.