Only this incomprehensible headline can express our shock and surprise at the news that Newcastle part-time midfielder Kieron Dyer is injured again, stunning!
After bigging up the fact that he’s been working out his entire body to prevent injuries to his hamstrings and groin, he has ironically suffered an injury to the one place that strength training won’t help – his eye.
“Kieron took a knock to his left eye on Friday morning in what can only be described as a freak accident,” confirmed Roeder.
“We immediately took him to see a specialist and his advice was that he needs to rest and not to take part in any contact training for at least two weeks.
“Kieron does not deserve such wretched luck to happen little more than a day after getting back out on the pitch against Portsmouth, when for 30 minutes he showed the kind of electric pace and ability that we know he is capable of”
Is it really possible for someone to have this much bad luck? It’s beyond comical and while the likes of Tottenham’s Darren Anderton and Liverpool’s Harry Kewell will rival Kieron Dyer’s injury record, there’s got to be something else going on here.
Our guesses as to why Dyer hasn’t played in the Premiership since 1937:
1) Dyer accidentally killed a gypsy’s daughter
2) Dyer walked under a ladder while covered in a pile of black cats
3) Dyer is really lazy
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