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Time To Wake Up, Jol-ettes

With a needlessly difficult Carling Cup semi against Arsenal tomorrow, Mr. C still can’t see why anyone could possibly be happy with Tottenham’s season, or manager, so far.

There comes a time in life when sometimes it is better to sit back and let other people do the talking (or in this case, managing). Actions speak louder the words and I am grateful that the tactical genius that is Martin Jol hasn’t failed in backing up my previous concerns with an array of shocking decisions.

I have enjoyed the last three weeks sitting back and reading various Tottenham message boards and assessing what the fans are really feeling as we approach this crucial part of the season. It may seem like I’m harping on the same issues, but I’ve noticed that each week that the same problems appear on the pitch, more people are agreeing with me on this site. Those who slagged me off saying I was too quick to judge have become more quiet as time goes by, and things aren’t any better.

Yet for some reason most supporters still seem rather content with things at the moment; why shouldn’t they be? No Premiership victories since Boxing Day, no significant signings to revitalise an ailing Premiership campaign and a manager who 2-0 up decides to revert to a 4-5-1 system that has practically killed off any chance of reaching the Carling Cup final – I fail to see where such optimism stems from especially when qualifying for Europe is now looking nothing short of an uphill struggle.

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West Ham’s 18MM Bid For Bent Is Bad News For The Hammers

For a while, there was a question over exactly how much money Eggsy Eggbertson was going to invest in West Ham when he took over. 10 million? 15 million? After a respectable but unspectacular spending on the likes of Nigel Quashie from West Brom and Calum Davenport from Tottenham, the Hammers have had a pretty ridiculous 18 million pound bid rejected by Charlton for Darren Bent.

With silly money the name of the game in this Transfer Window (see :Young, Ashley and Bale, Gareth) this one takes the cake. West Ham have shown their cards and pretty much eliminated any chance they had of paying a normal price for a player ever again.

Because if West Ham bid 18 million for Bent what would Tottenham now ask for Jermaine Defoe should Curbishley have to look elsewhere for options up front? Aston Villa for Agbonlahor? Preston for David Nugent? Middlesbrough for Massimo Maccarone? Ok that last one probably won’t change (hint: he’s free).

So while Curbishley and his Biscuit King had done a good job of staying calm and smartly spending their apparently massive transfer kitty, they’ve confidently strode into an area inhabited previously by only Chelsea and Manchester United. Eggsy Eggbertson better be absolutely minted, or else West Ham may have just shot themselves in the foot.

Offside News: Professor Southgate and Drogba The Mentor

Welcome to Offside News, a nice bi-weekly blast of CaughtOffside action. It’ll be coming every Friday, taking a look at the previous week’s biggest Premiership stories, and Monday, waxing nostalgic about the weekend’s action and post-match whinging.

The F.A. Cup has a habit of making nobody’s into somebody’s, making previously unknown’s into stars. Players who, before the weekend, had unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, have their names spread across the pages of the national papers. Take names like Rocos, Lloyd, Jackson, Watkins, O’Mara and Russel, for example. Ever heard of any of them before this weekend? Neither had we. Ever heard of them after this weekend? Neither have we. But we’ve got to be honest. None of them played in the F.A. Cup this weekend. These are the talentless individuals who made up this years ‘Celebrity’ Big Brother. Thank fuck that’s over…

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What Exactly Is Curbishley Doing?

Effra, surprisingly still somewhat sane after the Hammer’s season so far, loses patience with West Ham’s man with the (supposed) plan.

If Curbishley doesn’t recall Robert Green on Tuesday, then the tide of scepticism rising around Upton Park about his management is in danger of bursting into open fury. God knows most of us want to like Curbishley because he is one of our own.

Everyone also recognises that he came into a hornet’s nest of problems. But his team selections are getting harder and harder to understand, starting with his frankly incomprehensible preference for Carroll over Green. Anyone who watched our two goalkeeper’s performances this season could have told Curbishley that when Carroll comes for balls like the one that led to Watford’s goal he tends to miss them, and that Green deals with them well. Carroll is poor with crosses and poor at distribution. Green commands his box and distributes the ball quickly and intelligently. Carroll is also one of the players who have helped derail our season with his personal self-indulgence. Argumentative lot as we are, I don’t know one West Ham fan who doesn’t prefer Green to Carroll.

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Ten SPL Players You Need To Know About

Craig continues our Scottish Premiership coverage by profiling ten players ready to make an impact on the Premiership. If you’ve got your own recommendations, pop them in the comments.

I know many of you will think that the SPL is the equivalent of a pub league, but in fact the league is flourishing again thanks to all the teams being skint and having to bring young Scottish players through their youth systems to the first team. A sort of Bizarro World version of England’s top flight. Some of these players are now ready for a crack at the Premiership and these are the ones with most chance of making down south.

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Latest Transfer News: Ronaldo (C), Bale (Again), Upson and Duscher

The Premiership transfer window is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Here’s our thoughts on some of that more interesting nonsense…

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Hot Off The SPL: McLeish In And Some New Judas’ For The Old Firm

Craig continues our coverage of the Scottish Premiership, good on you Craig!

Scotland set to appoint McLeish

According to the BBC, Alex McLeish is going to be announced as the new
Scotland manager by the end of this week. It’s good to see that a successor
is going to be in place so quickly and McLeish is probably the best of the
candidates available at the moment so hopefully we can continue our winning
form – and possibly play a slightly more attacking style at the same time.

Meanwhile, Tommy Burns has quit his post as Scotland number 2 in a bit of a
huff because the SFA didn’t phone him to let him know what was going on in
terms of the appointment of a new manager. Burns was also disappointed that
despite not really being a very successful manager – hence the fact he’s
Celtic’s youth coach – he wasn’t offered the job himself. That however
doesn’t exonerate the SFA who have done for PR what Ashley Cole did for book
sales.

Crossing the Old Firm Divide

In the past, players would rather have been dragged feet first through a
patch of nettles than cross the Old Firm divide and play for both Rangers
and Celtic. Mo Johnston was the prime example - being afforded a welcome
akin to what Jade Goody would receive in India, after returning from Nantes
to play for Rangers having previously played with Celtic.

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Offside News: There’s More To Football Than Money, Apparently

Welcome to Offside News, a nice bi-weekly blast of CaughtOffside action. It’ll be coming every Friday, taking a look at the previous week’s biggest Premiership stories, and Monday, waxing nostalgic about the weekend’s action and post-match whinging.

Julius Rosenwald, a US merchant and philanthropist, once said, “Do not be
fooled into thinking that because a man is rich, he is necessarily smart.
There is ample proof to the contrary”. While Rosenwald will have never heard
of the likes of David Beckham (he died in 1932), this little quote helps us
run nicely into our first story…

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17 Year Old Left Back To Solve All Tottenham’s Problems

When Southampton announced an “unnamed” Premiership club was willing to meet their nearly 10 million asking price for 17 year old left back Gareth Bale, we’ll admit we thought it had to be Manchester United throwing their excessive weight around once again.

But apparently, the bid - seemingly accepted now - was from Tottenham, who had a wad of cash burning a hole in their pocket after being beaten to Ashley Young by Aston Villa. If the money paid for a relatively unproven Young seemed silly, then the fee for Bale is downright criminal.

After a terrible performance against Newcastle, leading twice only to lose 3-2, and a terrible performance against a 10 man Fulham, needing a late goal to draw, and a terrible (and now typical) second half performance against Arsenal’s U-12s at home, it seemed like there may have been better ways for Martin Jol to spend. Bale may be an immense player in a few years, but if Spurs keep playing like they have been then it’s hardly going to matter.

With apparently at least 10 million to throw around this window, somehow we doubt this was the ideal way Tottenham supporters wanted to see that money used.

Things Look Bleak For Chelsea In 2021

At a time when cracks in the Chelsea empire are starting to appear, CaughtOffside reader James uses what we imagine is copious amounts of spare time to predict what life might be like at Chelsea in 2021. Here’s a hint - it’s not good.

Chelsea manager Les Reed looks deep in thought after his side concede a second goal. The rain is pouring down and the pitch resembles a freshly ploughed field. Defeat today would condemn them to their lowest table position since the club was formed – 19th in League 3, 77 places below the top of the Premiership.

Chelsea last occupied that place in 2006; during the heady days of the club that still linger in the memory of older fans. Then, under the controversial Jose Mourinho, they won two successive Premiership titles until their downfall in 2007.

However, that time seems distant as the final whistle blows. Boos echo from the few hundred fans at New Stamford Bridge as the team trudge off the field. Mr Reed disappears into a nearby Portakabin to give the team their post-match talk.

It is difficult to believe that this club was once considered to be great, but their problems can be traced back to the Summer of 2006. The controversial £30m signing of Russian Andriy Shevchenko caused a rift to develop between Mourinho and the club’s directors. Following poor series of results over the Christmas period, 2nd placed Chelsea began to slip down the Premiership table, barely managing to qualify for UEFA cup football at the season’s end.

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Latest Transfer News: Mido, Gardner, Smertin, Bent, Seedorf, Healy, Rossi, Gera and Eagles

The Premiership transfer window is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Here’s our thoughts on some of that more interesting nonsense… if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.

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Rafa’s Moaning Pays Off

Not too long ago after being beaten by Arsenal U-12s, Rafa Benitez was having a good whinge about how Liverpool don’t provide him with funds to spend on talented youth as Arsenal do for Arsene Wenger. And it seems to have worked. This January window Rafa has managed to bring in Sampdoria’s Italy Under-21 goalkeeper Daniele Padelli and Boca Juniors’ Emiliano Insua (18).

Now, the Spanish grumpy pants has added Dutch striker Jordy Brouwer to his squad. We’ll go ahead and call him the next Dirk Kuyt because, you know, he’s Dutch,

‘We have made a good signing for the future in Jordy,’ said chief executive Rick Parry of the Holland Under-19 international.

‘He has had a youth contract at Ajax but has opted to build his career at Liverpool.

‘We have been monitoring his progress and look forward to developing his potential at Anfield.’

The purse strings seem to have opened slightly for Benitez for young ‘uns, but it is Wenger and his scouting network’s ability to spot and develop the right talent that built his army of underaged superstars, not simply Arsenal’s willingness to fund their purchase. The pressure is on Rafa to get the right people in, because if it turns out they’re complete toss he’s out of excuses for once.

Latest Transfer News: Bale, Robben, Etherington, Hendrie, Maloney and Anelka

The Premiership transfer window is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Here’s our thoughts on some of that more interesting nonsense… if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.

Read more

Neill Lacks Ambition, Likes Money. Nice Guy, Though.

Surprising to no one, Lucas Neill has come under fire from media and bitter rival supporters alike for his decision to sign for West Ham rather than Liverpool. Rumours of West Ham upping his wages to 70K a week to seal the deal are flying about and, as unlikely as that figure is, Neill is almost certainly making more than he would have at Anfield,

“At no stage did the issue of money enter into the footballing decision I was making,” he said.

“Yes, I want to be secure, like everyone, but more importantly I want to know that I am going to be content, happy and playing football every week.

“Some of the figures that have been mentioned are just ridiculous and the whole thing was blown way out of proportion. Anyone who thinks I joined West Ham simply for money is way off the mark.

“People have questioned why I signed for West Ham and not Liverpool but I don’t understand that.

“Yes, Liverpool is a great club with a fantastic history but, equally, West Ham have produced people like Bobby Moore, Geoff Hurst, Martin Peters, Trevor Brooking and Billy Bonds over the years. If West Ham was good enough for those guys, then it’s good enough for me.

A man plays professional football for many reasons, and not everyone’s idea of successful career is one littered with major trophies. Lucas Neill is 28, turning 29 in March, and in his prime. No matter who West Ham manage to secure with biscuit money in the next few seasons it’s unlikely they’re going to mount a serious challenge for any significant silverware before Neill has to pack up his things and return to fighting dingos bare-fisted in the Outback.

But rather than yell at him for not joining the Big Four, we’re applauding Neill’s decision to join the West Ham revolution, help them stay in the Premiership, and make a shedload of cash in the final years of his career. Because we can’t honestly say we wouldn’t have done the same…

Michael Owen Still Alive

Ah yes, Michael Owen, we remember him. Little lad who plays for Liverpool, right? What? Newcastle? Oh…

Anyway, apparently he’s emerged from whatever he’s been doing the past few years to tell some sort of new Sky Sports magazine that Thierry Henry is quite good, and that he has not seen a single Chelsea match this season,

“The player that always impresses me is Thierry Henry. He’s probably the best player to have ever graced the Premiership.”

“I’m a big fan of Shevchenko. It’s amazing that people are questioning him. He is one of the greats of the modern game,” Owen said.

Thanks Mickey! As sad as it is, we can’t really imagine Owen will get back to playing regularly again unless he’s had both legs replaced with bionic implants. Between him and Kieron Dyer, Newcastle have two players that personify the club over the past few years - so much potential, so little success.

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