The Premiership transfer window is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Hereâ€™s our thoughts on some of that more interesting nonsenseâ€¦ if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
Manchester City are chasing Tottenhamâ€™s Mido.
CaughtOffside Says: Mido is way down the Spurs pecking order, and has looked out of sorts when given the chance, but if he’s given regular football there’s little doubt he’d be a solid Premiership striker especially on a side that played to his strengths in the box.
Bolton are lining up Spursâ€™ Tony Gardner to replace Tal Ben Haim if and when he goes to Chelsea.
CaughtOffside Says: Obviously that all depends on newly miserly Chelsea scraping together enough rubles for Ben Haim, but Gardner is pretty much the opposite of the Bolton spirit and style.
Alexi Smertin is almost definitely heading for Fulham in a Â£1 million deal.
CaughtOffside Says: Fulham have been one of the busiest clubs this window, Smertin was Abramovich’s first “not-at-all-dodgy” signings and actually didn’t look bad. At 1M he’d be worth it.
St Ettiene have offered Frederic Piquionne in exchange for Charltonâ€™s Marcus Bent.
CaughtOffside Says: Pardew and Charlton should bite their hands off before they realise they’ve asked for the wrong Bent.
Alan Pardew is talking Stefano Seedorf, cousin of Clarence, about joining Charlton.
CaughtOffside Says: Yes, because cousins of good footballers work out so well…
Milan, Juve, Roma and Inter are all after Manchester United youngster Giuseppe Rossi.
CaughtOffside Says: Good enough for Italian giants, not good enough for Glenn Roeder. But the lack of opportunities given to Rossi this season by Sir Alex has been a bit perplexing given how highly he seems to rate him. But if Darren Fletcher is anything to go by, Rossi will be at Old Trafford for a while whether he’s any good or not.
Everton could make a bid for Leeds David Healy.
CaughtOffside: Wonder if he’ll get the Ronaldo treatment…
Sheffield United are after Manchester Unitedâ€™s Chris Eagles.
CaughtOffside Says: Neil Warnock is the latest boss to get Football Manager confused with real life. Eagles joins a large and hilarious crew of players who were highly rated United youngsters, but were actually crap.
Middlesbrough will sign West Bromâ€™s Zoltan Gera for Â£2 million.
CaughtOffside Says: Southgateâ€™s heard a rumour that if you sign 10 talented Hungarians you get a UEFA pro-license thrown in for free. Gera’s been linked to Tottenham amongst others in the past, and looked like a quality Premiership player when WBA were still in the top flight. At 2 million, we’d be surprised if no one else went in for The Man Named Zoltan.