The world of Premiership transfer rumours is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Hereâ€™s our opinion on some of that more interesting nonsenseâ€¦ and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
Tottenham are ready to match whatever offer comes in for Arjen Robben, up to around 16 million.
CaughtOffside Says: Martin Jol is Dutch, Robben is Dutch. The reasons for the winger to join Spurs pretty much end there.
Spurs and Bolton are ready to fight it out for Racing Santander’s 6’8 striker Nikola Zigic.
CaughtOffside Says: We wanted Liverpool to sign this bloke, because at some point Crouch and Zigic would be paired together and hilarity would ensue.
Inter Milan have put Arsenal striker Thierry Henry on their summer hit-list of transfer targets as they believe they can lure him to Serie A.
CaughtOffside Says: Henry just said he wants to stay at Arsenal for life. So unless he’s a dirty liar, Inter will have to look elsewhere to continue their dominance of Serie B.5.
Chelsea have not offered Claude Makelele a new contract as punishment for speaking out against owner Roman Abramovich.
CaughtOffside Says: Makelele should consider himself very lucky, we imagine the punishment for speaking out against Abramovich is usually a lot worse.
Blues boss Jose Mourinho has been told Porto defender Pepe will cost Â£14m to buy this summer.
CaughtOffside Says:Who is Pepe and why does he cost 14m? Both very good questions. We’ll pretend we watch Porto on a weekly basis and say he’s the next John Terry for some reason.
Everton’s Mikel Arteta, Middlesbrough’s Mark Viduka and Blackburn’s Benni McCarthy are all being offered new deals to keep them from buggering off.
CaughtOffside Says: Always a good idea to keep your best players. So…yeah.
Read more transfer rumours news on the transfer rumours section.