West Ham Get To Relegate Themselves.

April 27, 2007

Rejoice, West Ham supporters, as He has finally smiled upon you.

Concluding an investigation into the incredibly dodgy and illegal transfers of Javier Mascherano and Carlos Tevez, West Ham were fined 5.5 million by a Premier League investigative panel but spared any points deducation - meaning they can relegate themselves from the Premiership fair and square.

The problem was the whole “West Ham don’t own the players” business, and the fact that the club did not disclose full information of the transfer to the league. Once alerted to the possibility of misconduct a mere few days ago, it lead to a quick and decisive investigation from the powers that be.

Wait… that’s not right.

Didn’t everyone suspect this virtually as soon as the deal was announced at the start of the season? Didn’t red flags go up when the club announced to the world that they would not be disclosing the details of the transfer? Weren’t there endless articles spouting theories and raising suspicions of misconduct?

Can’t have been. Because that would mean that the people at the league are complete numptey’s who, for some inexplicable reason almost certainly tied to their own personal gain, waited until the end of the season to charge West Ham.

Comments

17 Responses to “West Ham Get To Relegate Themselves.”

  1. Buster Hyman
    on April 27th, 2007 2:00 pm

    As a Liverpool supporter, I’m quite happy because we got Mascherano for a knock down price. Probably would have cost us double if this dodgy deal hadn’t been done. But I still hope West Ham avoid the drop. I think they are a great club.

  2. hammer
    on April 27th, 2007 2:41 pm

    West Ham will be punished trice :

    1- heavy fine, 5 millions

    2- relegated, and play Barnsely, Southend and the rests, next season

    3- bankrupt in 3 years time.

    and serve the spammers allright tough….you all deserve it! small club.

  3. boy wonder
    on April 27th, 2007 3:11 pm

    [quote comment=”38166″]West Ham will be punished trice :

    1- heavy fine, 5 millions

    2- relegated, and play Barnsely, Southend and the rests, next season

    3- bankrupt in 3 years time.

    and serve the spammers allright tough….you all deserve it! small club.[/quote]

    Or we could spend best part of £100m on players and win fuck all - tosser.

    I’m assuming from your heavily patronising tone that you are indeed a spurs fan, if you’re not then please don’t take offence (though you are still a tosser).

    ps - think you’ve got a problem with the ‘h’ button on your keyboard mate..

  4. Tevez, The new Bobby Moore?
    on April 27th, 2007 5:52 pm

    [quote comment=”38155″]As a Liverpool supporter, I’m quite happy because we got Mascherano for a knock down price. Probably would have cost us double if this dodgy deal hadn’t been done. But I still hope West Ham avoid the drop. I think they are a great club.[/quote]

    Thank you, and you are right we are a great club, we’re capable of playing brilliant football and beating the best on occasion. It would be a shame for the entire league to loose a club which can potentially fill a 50,000 seater stadium as opposed to uniterested and unexciting team such as wigan, watford, sheff utd, charlton, fulham etc etc we are one of the bigger clubs and with our recent spending power if we stay up we can add to the competitiveness at the top of the table.

  5. Whiter than White
    on April 27th, 2007 6:05 pm

    [quote comment=”38184″][quote comment=”38155″] It would be a shame for the entire league to loose a club which can potentially fill a 50,000 seater stadium as opposed to uniterested and unexciting team such as wigan, watford, sheff utd, charlton, fulham etc etc we are one of the bigger clubs and with our recent spending power if we stay up we can add to the competitiveness at the top of the table.[/quote]

    West Ham is just a feeder club, who can’t mix with big boys….end of.

  6. Blue Army
    on April 27th, 2007 6:20 pm

    [quote comment=”38175″][quote comment=”38166″]West Ham will be punished trice :

    1- heavy fine, 5 millions

    2- relegated, and play Barnsely, Southend and the rests, next season

    3- bankrupt in 3 years time.

    and serve the spammers allright tough….you all deserve it! small club.[/quote]

    I’m assuming from your heavily patronising tone that you are indeed a spurs fan, if you’re not then please don’t take offence (though you are still a tosser).

    [/quote]

    Why??? You are so obsess with Spurs! I know that you club is the feeder club to the mighty Spurs. Go and play with Colchester United, kids

    I think it is God punishment to West Ham… collaborating with Arsenal to poison Spurs team last year.

  7. ChristopherWreh=God
    on April 28th, 2007 2:45 pm

    Regardless of weather West Ham are relegated, a financial punishment is nothing short of a disgrace. Breaking Premiership regulations is an automatic points deduction regardless of weather the defendant pleads guilty or not. Magnusson’s status as an ex-UEFA delegate has got West Ham off the hook here…Echos of the laughable punishments handed out in Italy last summer?? I think so…

  8. Wiganbob
    on April 28th, 2007 4:43 pm

    Hmmmm, new ground holding 50,000-60,000. Huge financial investment on the pitch. Hate to say it Scum fans but you will be chasing our heels for years to come. You will be stuck with your 36,000 capacity ground with no hope of moving or ever stepping out of the red shadow you are under. 17 games now without a win, whereas we just can’t stop beating the Arse. Perhaps one day kiddies you might beat them or perhaps be more than a small London club, but i doubt it.
    As for the comment about being obsessed with Spurs…well you just have to read how many scum fans come on our pages to see where the obsession lies..
    I suppose you just read them to see how real fans talk about their team, you know real fans..they go to the ground, make noise, celebrate when winning and still cheer their team when losing…but i guess any kind of cheer would be good at your little antiquated ground.
    But i will stop now, should be kind to less fortunates like the scum, they can’t help the fact they support who they do. Its a bit like lemmings really.

  9. Wiganbob
    on April 28th, 2007 4:46 pm

    Why are scum fans unable to use English grammar? I suppose you would have to be under-educated to support them though.

  10. Loren Dunlop
    on April 30th, 2007 12:48 pm

    [quote comment=”38184″][quote comment=”38155″]As a Liverpool supporter, I’m quite happy because we got Mascherano for a knock down price. Probably would have cost us double if this dodgy deal hadn’t been done. But I still hope West Ham avoid the drop. I think they are a great club.[/quote]

    Thank you, and you are right we are a great club, we’re capable of playing brilliant football and beating the best on occasion. It would be a shame for the entire league to loose a club which can potentially fill a 50,000 seater stadium as opposed to uniterested and unexciting team such as wigan, watford, sheff utd, charlton, fulham etc etc we are one of the bigger clubs and with our recent spending power if we stay up we can add to the competitiveness at the top of the table.[/quote]

    watford just didn’t have the money to make it in the prem, but they played with more pride and heart than west ham have ever done. make it more competitive at the top? based on what? the fact you’re battling relegation this season? everton, spurs, bolton are making it more competitve at the top. pompey may join that list yet.

    anyway, irrelevant, you’s are going down and you fucking deserve to an all.

  11. Bill Vector
    on April 30th, 2007 1:09 pm

    poor old West Ham - they play attacking and exciting football - their fans are good and support their team through thin and thin - leave em alone… I hope they stay up.

  12. Loren Dunlop
    on April 30th, 2007 1:44 pm

    [quote comment=”38339″]poor old West Ham - they play attacking and exciting football - their fans are good and support their team through thin and thin - leave em alone… I hope they stay up.[/quote]

    what club doesn’t have a group of fans who would support their club no matter what? as well as a bunch of moaners, manager haters - we all have them. west ham aren’t going to get enough points to stay in the prem, so they deserve to go down, no more so than anyone else, but its not a fucking travesty that they are either.

  13. Loren Dunlop
    on April 30th, 2007 1:47 pm

    i just took exception there to tevez above thinking they have some right to be in the prem, or others should really be going down in their place, or that they light up the prem and it won’t be the same without them. i’d swap west ham for sunderland any day, this i can’t wait to see.

  14. Dave Sawyer
    on April 30th, 2007 2:05 pm

    West Ham should buy Cliff Lazarenko and Ken Kercheval from the world of darts and Dallas respectively. Even if he buy them disrespectively it is OK. I think tomorrow is a big night at Anfield. Evereybody here on the CaughtOffsides website is arguing over who is going to win but you know this is not the most important thing in the world: Spare a thought for the poor people who don’t play football, don’t know about football and aren’t so keen on football. They are the real losers in all this. Like silly Jim Davidson with his racist jokes - he is maybe the one that the crowd should shout about - stupid old bastard. And then it is Wednesday and Milan with Uniteds of Manchester… what then - will there be a lot of crowd trouble? Who will win the snooker? Who will win the Cricketers world cup final? Who will win the butterscotch angel delight in the Jalan Setia Kasih Satu school tombola? Please remember fans of Liverpool, Chelsea, Manchetsre and even Milanese, it is not the big all and end of all to win in the footbal cups, sometimes it is better to sneak a look down the supermarket till girl’s blouse and find out what colour of her brassiere……. today it was white and I very nearly caught a nipple. If it hadn’t been for stupid Mrs Chow asking for her cigarettes I would have seen it. Damn you Mrs Chow. So this is my life. What a life. hahahahaha.

  15. Tevez, The new Bobby Moore?
    on May 2nd, 2007 10:16 pm

    [quote comment=”38188″][quote comment=”38184″][quote comment=”38155″] It would be a shame for the entire league to loose a club which can potentially fill a 50,000 seater stadium as opposed to uniterested and unexciting team such as wigan, watford, sheff utd, charlton, fulham etc etc we are one of the bigger clubs and with our recent spending power if we stay up we can add to the competitiveness at the top of the table.[/quote]

    West Ham is just a feeder club, who can’t mix with big boys….end of.[/quote]

    End of end of think your a big boy do you kid, the Yids are the real feeder club, look at Carrick you dip shit and i’ll give you two guesses where Berbatov will be next season, but i doubt it will be with you! Your a little mug thats got out of their playpen and should stick to worshiping the great Defoe and alike your just a bunch of cu*ts mate.

  16. Tevez, The new Bobby Moore?
    on May 2nd, 2007 10:27 pm

    [quote comment=”38341″]i just took exception there to tevez above thinking they have some right to be in the prem, or others should really be going down in their place, or that they light up the prem and it won’t be the same without them. i’d swap west ham for sunderland any day, this i can’t wait to see.[/quote]

    Jesus calm down love, Sunderland over West Ham dear me just how full of shit are you? have you seen some of the recent goals that West Ham have scored, not to mention we’ve beaten Arsenal twice and Man Utd this year, granted it hasn’t been a great season but there is just no comparing Watford to west ham, and its not even about money. Your club is famous because Elton John has shares and thats it, you have a crap fanbase, a crap stadium, a crap footballing philosophy not to mention a crap team, good luck in the championship, your not even a big fish in that pond and your barely recognisable in the premiership. Get back to where you belong! I’m sure it was fun while it lasted getting beaten every week. (ohhh but if we had Marlon King we’d be in the top half, or if games finished after 80mins we’d be safe) please bite the bullet and give it a rest ffs.

  17. Tevez, The new Bobby Moore?
    on May 3rd, 2007 10:11 pm

    [quote comment=”38226″]Why are scum fans unable to use English grammar? I suppose you would have to be under-educated to support them though.[/quote]

    Your from Wigan and you call Londoners undereducated, 2nd highest annual wage amongst the prem. Who gives a fuck if you’ve not got a degree im sure plenty of northeners would swap eduacation for decent money, rather than the giro’s

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