West Ham Sign Scott Parker, But Not Kaka

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Wahay, West Ham have completed their first big signing of the summer as Alan Curbishley has been re-united with ex Newcastle captain Scott Parker.

“I’m delighted Scott has agreed to sign for us,” Curbishley told the club’s official website. “Our relationship goes back some time to when he first joined Charlton as a schoolboy.

“He’s coming to the club knowing full well that we’re trying to push forward and he wants to be part of that. Firstly he wants to improve our team; then he wants to improve his chances of forcing his way back into the England scene.

“He has been captain of Newcastle over the last couple of seasons and he is exactly the type of player that I wanted to bring to the club. He’s very experienced but still young and I’m sure he’s going to be a big asset to West Ham.”

But since Scott Parker does not look like Kaka, or Asian, or a fat Harry Kewell, or Mikel Arteta, then there is still a mystery signing potentially on the way for the Hammers.