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Arsenal Boss Says Bust-Up Rumours Are Utter Tripe

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger thinks that any talk of a bust-up with Gilberto Silva is utter tosh. With The Daily Mail is today reporting about these rumours, so does that mean Arsene thinks that the Daily Mail, without a doubt this country’s most gloriously un-garrulous newspaper, is tosh? Hmmm…

Rumours are rife that Gilberto is a tad miffed to say the least at not starting a game for Arsenal since mid-September. The Brazilian has been shunted to the bench by the younger steam engineswith Cesc Fabregas and Mathieu Flamini.

Wenger aggressively denied talk of any bust-up, the Arsenal boss said:

“I deny that (a bust-up) categorically, I find this assessment disrespectful to a great professional like Gilberto. He is 100 per cent professional and is in the squad for Sheffield United. He will play.”

Arsene went on to praise Gilberto for his positive attitute and for thinking holistically rather than of himself:

“I believe that as a manager and as a player you always have one thing in your mind and that is what is good for the club and the team. I cannot fault Gilberto on that since he arrived here. Recently he has played less, but his mentality has been superb.”

Did he just call Gilberto a mental? BUST-UP ALERT!

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Read more Arsenal news comments on the Arsenal section.

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 Caughtoffside.com - Sports blog offering Sports news & Sports articles

Chelsea boss Avram Grant continues his ridiculous hard man routine

Blimey - this Avram Grant isn’t the bumbling softie that we all thought he was. The next edict to come through the microphones in the training yard at Stalag Stamford is that noone has a God given right to stay in the team, and players will play on merit. The Sun is also claiming that he is going to follow bearded winge King down the path of rotation. Eurgh.

When asked about Mourinho’s time at the helm, and the fact that he had certain ‘untouchables’ , that he wouldn’t drop, Avram said:

“The Untouchables? I only know the movie! It was great — I saw it three times. But when you have a big squad why do you have it? To use it. We do not have a big squad just to talk about. We’re fighting for four titles and you need all the players. I want there to be a rotation. Part of the reason is people are injured. Second, it is to keep people fresh and thirdly, when people are in good shape you need to keep them like it. The players knew before they signed they would not play all the time. We pay their wages because we want them to make a contribution to the team when we need them.”

Although Andriy Shevchenko, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Florent Malouda have already felt the cold shoulder from the Israeli, he claimed that everybody will get a chance in this Stamford Bridge meritocracy. Grant said:

“We’ll need everybody. I don’t want to talk about being happy or not happy. But I’m sure sometimes there’s a player who’s less happy than another. If there’s a problem then the players can knock on my door and we’ll find a solution.”

Anytime a man back ed by powerful Russans tells you that you can work out a “solution” we think you should just do what they want.

Chelsea set for another incredibly expensive superstar on the declne

Chelsea are after Ronaldinho, so says The Sun, and who are we to argue with such an honorable source?

Apparently Chelsea want the Brazilian party animal, who was booed on Sunday by his own fans, and are prepared to indulge in a spot of fisticuffs with fellow suitors AC Milan.

Head honcho’s at Barca are said to be annoyed with Ronaldinho’s - football, gym, party! - daily regimen - and compared to his younger self he now looks more like Rob Earnshaw that Pele. Added to this is the fact that Ronaldinho has been acting like a petulant kid, having spats with Samuel Eto’o and his Dutch boss. So the time is obviously ripe to flog him to the nearest numpty willing to put up the huge sums of cash the Catalans want for a big name player struggling to live up to the hype, who better than Chelsea?

The Sun ulitized their vast network of ’sources’ for this tale - a top Nou Camp source said:

“Ronaldinho’s period at Barcelona is coming to an end. It’s no longer a question of if, but when they sell.”

So can Chelsea fend off interest from AC Milan and bag their man, who currently does a smashing impersonation of a drunken streetwalker sloping around the football field. £70m bid, £11.6m-a-year salary - can you spell B-A-R-G-A-I-N? Chelsea can!

Robbie Fowler Set To Give Liverpool Something To Cheer About

There is nothing like a trip home to remind you why you moved away in the first place, but while some move for a change of scenary or to meet new people, Robbie Fowler moved to Cardiff because he wasn’t good enough for Liverpool. So will he shove it down Rafa’s throat with a hat-trick tonight as Cardiff go to Anfield? Of course he bloody won’t, he’s a bit rubbish these days. But if he did it would probably wouldn’t go down as badly with the Scouse fans as you would imagine. As the Guardian point out:

“Nicknamed God among the red half of Merseyside, Fowler can do no wrong in the eyes of Liverpool fans, with his homecoming expected to deliver an ear-piercing ovation that is likely to leave many of the Cardiff players feeling like extras making up the numbers on a film set. The adulation is born from an extraordinary record that reads 183 goals in 369 appearances during two spells with Liverpool, although the statistics are not imprinted on Fowler’s psyche.”

Leeds ruin good work by hiring Bassett?

Leeds have done some good work with public relations this season, going months without being associated with their usual evil-doing. No Revie-esque cheating, no Lee Bowyer, no expensive fishtanks. Come on guys, a whole season of glorious news, almost there… oh no. Here we go again:

“Leeds manager Dennis Wise has gone back to his Crazy Gang days at Wimbledon to recruit his former boss Dave Bassett as his new assistant at Elland Road. Bassett has agreed to take on the role until the end of the season and will join up with the team tomorrow ahead of Saturday’s trip to leaders Carlisle.”

This comes from the Daily Mail, the only publication that are more horrible than Bassett’s football. Get ready to crane those necks Leeds fans because those clearances are going to be high and hopeful from now on.

Leeds are still one of the stores of the season so hopefully the Poyet-Bassett switch won’t cost them.

UEFA President Attacks Arsenal’s Arsene Wenger For Going After Kids

UEFA president Michel Platini has laid into Arsene Wenger, saying that his transfer policy - that of procuring talented youngsters early in their careers - inevitably ruins smaller clubs.Wenger has nabbed talented youths Fabregas, Walcott, and Merida to name three, and Gilles Sunu, Carlos Vela, as well as naughty 15yr old whipper-snapper Jermaine Pennant from Notts County - and fellow Frenchman Platini doesn’tike it one bit.

Platini said:

“I do not like the system of Arsène Wenger, in France, Italy and Spain it is easy to buy with money the best players at 14, 15 or 16. I don’t like that. If the best clubs buy the best 15 or 16 players, [then it] is finished for all the clubs in Europe. If my son is playing at Millwall and at 16 Manchester [United] come in for this player, then when will Millwall have a good team?”

Good point, but there are a lot of factors contributing to Millwall’s inability to match Manchester United beyond losing a good young player here and there. Financial inequality of sponsorships and TV deals, lack of salary cap, blah blah blah.

Football isn’t equal and it’s part of why we like it, and part of why we hate it, but will equality really make the sport better?

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Read more Arsenal news comments on the Arsenal section.

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 Caughtoffside.com - Sports blog offering Sports news & Sports articles

Not Good Enough For West Ham or Newcastle, But Good Enough For Norwich?

It is a good time for managers with seemingly no achievements under their belt. Not only if Gary Megson now in charge of Nicolas Anelka, but now the man with the face of a librarian and the voice of Stuart Pearce is back in employment, yep someone loves Glenn Roeder and that someone is Norwich chairman Robert Munby. Let’s just have Munby confirm that:

“After a lengthy and diligent search I’m more than delighted to confirm Glenn Roeder is the board’s unanimous choice as the next Norwich City manager.”

How diligent the search was we are not sure, but judging by what they found we get the impression that Munby is the sort of person who would spend 20 minutes looking for his glasses when they are on the top of his head.

But is this all a little unfair on Roeder, who did have one good season at West Ham and wasn’t that bad at Newcastle? Will he show us his worth as a football manager? Any words of wisdom for the Norwich fans on what to expect?

The Kaiser Thinks England Play Like A School Team And He’s Probably Right

The Guardian is whispering to us, and the paper commonly known as the ’sword of honour’ in the COS penthouse, is telling us that last night Franz Beckenbauer has called England a “school team” that are devoid of any passion, life, or direction. The Kaiser, referring to Germany’s 2-1 friendly over McClaren’s schoolboys in August, said:

“It was like a school team, they were not talking and not supporting. That was the biggest surprise. There is no life in this team. The first time I played against England in 1965 and then during the World Cup in 1966 there was always a certain spirit.”

Beckenbauer showed pity on hapless England however, saying that if they didn’t qualify for EURO 2008 the tournament wouldn’t be the same and that it would be a mistake to sack the managerial shambles that is the McClaren-Venables duo. Beckenbauer said:

“A European Championship without England wouldn’t be the same, that would be a big loss.” and also referred to any potential McClaren sacking, saying: “If you tear it up, somebody just ends up having to go through it all again.”

So does anyone care that the German legend thinks that McClaren and his sorry squad are lifeless “schoolboys”? Truth hurts, we suppose.

New Tottenham Manager Will Clearly Fit Right In With The Spurs Fans

New Tottenham manager Juande Ramos is going to fit right in at Spurs. Having taken control of the low-lying team, the Spaniard has claimed that he is going to take the club back up to “where they deserve to be”, which according to the dusty archived league records from 1961, is perched atop the league like a glorious (and somewhat delusional) cockerel.

Ramos said, through the medium of a translator (Gus Poyet?):

“I want to take it step by step. I want to get results quickly to breed confidence and then I can think about the long-term. But this is a great club and the aim is to take us to the top.”

The Spaniard was keen to point out that he won’t be frogmarching goalie Paul Robinson to the nearest Job Centre straight away, he’ll probably wait at least a week. Ramos said:

“I’ve only just landed. I need to look at the players and depth of the squad before we think about buying.”

Whilst everyone was excited by Ramos’ presence at Spurs, rumblings from Seville are as bitter and nasty as a Hollywood divorce. The Spaniards have launched a vendetta against Spurs, promising to

“make sure that Tottenham pay the consequences of this situation, a situation that they have illegitimately provoked”.

Photo of Liverpool Star’s Wage Slip Leaked, is he worth it?

Like an undulating muddy pitch to a skillfull passing side, the gutter dwelling tabloids are a great leveler to high flying football players. The Sun today is practically wetting itself over the sordid details of John Arne Riise’s payslip, a snapshot of which has been leaked onto the net.

Riise gets paid £30,000 a week, a sum which they call “whopping”, but is it really that inflated? According to the slip Riise earned £139,000 with bonuses, but he still had to shell out £36 for match tickets but compared to other recalcitrant players, and injury prone layabouts, Riise has been a good servant to the club, so is he good value for his wages or a man who isn’t worth the ginger hassle.

El Tel Defends The Indefensible, England’s Steve McClaren

Steve McClaren’s assistant Terry Venables has leapt to the defence of his boss, claiming that the ginger clown should keep his grubby fingers in the England pie, even if they fail to qualify for Euro 2008 - and has pleaded with the populace to “Have some belief.”
El Tel told BBC Radio 5 Live:

“I think Steve knows himself we were a little bit late starting off, but we got there - we were a fraction away, I do believe the improvement is worth a little more patience.”

And Venables is with The Kaiser on the matter of sacking McClaren and staring afresh. Venables said:

“You don’t tear the paper up and start all over again, you say, ‘we’re on to something here - let’s pursue this and not start all over again and have another trek to look for someone else who has to start again as well.’”

Yeah you’re “onto something”, onto not qualifying for Euro 2008.

Zing!

Young Arsenal Midfielder Loves To Touch The Ball

…So thinks Arsenal captain Willy Gallas. According to The Sun, Gallas believes that his midfield mate Cesc Fabregas will go on to be the best player plying his trade in England.
Arsenal captain Gallas claimed that with a bit of fine tuning Cesc will be the best. Gallas said:

“The Gunners skipper insisted: “The season is very long and Cesc has to know when he’s tired not to play the physical game as much. When you are young you like to touch the ball too many times. But he has to learn how to save his energy — then he can be the best player in the league. Aleksandr Hleb and Fabregas are good friends off the pitch which helps a lot. When you’re friends you understand each other well and like to play together.”

And Gallas, buoyed by his team’s draw away at Liverpool reckons that some teams will be squaling like frightened puppies when faced with the gurning mass of talent that is Arsenal. Gallas continued:

“Maybe Liverpool were a little bit afraid of us but I think a lot of teams will be afraid again. We are playing very well, can score goals at any time yet we can also play a physical game as well.”

So is the man who The Sun call “Ab Fab”, really the best in this country, better than the Rooneys and Ronaldos of this world?

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Read more Arsenal news comments on the Arsenal section.

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 Caughtoffside.com - Sports blog offering Sports news & Sports articles

Liverpool Players Grudgingly Admit To Arsenal’s Brilliance

Whilst the Liverpool Manager Rafa Benitez was nervously stroking his beard in anticipation of bad news regarding Xabi’s toe, Jamie Carragher and Steve Finnan were busy telling everyone how amazing Arsenal are. According to the Liverpool Echo, Carragher said:

“Are Arsenal as good as people say they are? You’d better believe it, I thought they had 12 men out there! Arsenal are a great side, but we were very close to them, we are just six points behind and it was nearly a couple less with that display. We battled hard, and we are proud of the way we played with commitment and effort, but Arsenal did play well, they are going to be a tough side to catch.”

Steve Finnan was also quick to talk of Arsenal’s brilliance - indeed the Gunners were so it was almost as if Liverpool needed a Mr Clattenberg to help them out. Finnan said:

“I suppose they were good enough to win the match because of the chances and possession they had.”

Everyone seems to be falling overthemselves trying to get out enough sickening praise for the Gunners, Sir Alex will no doubt have his United lads ready to kick lumps out of them this weekend so it will be interesting to see if Wenger’s lads as tough as they are pretty.

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Read more Arsenal articles comments on the Arsenal section.

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Chelsea Boss Rewarded For Not Being As Crap As We All Thought

Chelsea’s Clown Prince Avram Grant is being rewarded for not living up to expectations and actually getting some decent results. Israeli Grant will be given a brand spanking new three year contract according to the Daily Telegraph. And last weekend’s 6-0 battering that was dished out to hapless Manchester City has convinced Abramovich that his friend should be here long-term.

Up until now Grant has been on the ‘paupers wages’ of a director of football, but now he’ll be in the big time with a sparkling diamond encrusted Abramovich contract, and the Telegraph claims that the new deal should be penned sometime this week.

Grant’s failure to win approval amongst the players was evident early on in his reign, with players like Drogba and Lampard literally queuing up to belly flop off the sinking ship. Grant has obviously changed some minds in the last few weeks though with Carvalho, who everybody thought was going to join the growing band of disgruntled players, is actually quite gruntled. Carvalho, in a statement of Jesus like decency, has said that he will honour his latest contract, despite being linked heavily with Juventus. Carvalho said:

“I know about the rumours linking me with Juventus but I haven’t spoken to anyone. I have signed a contract with Chelsea and I have no interest in changing clubs even though Mourinho is no longer here. No matter who the coach is I will be professional and will give my all on the field.”

Wow. First a new contract for Avram Grant, and now players doing a u-turn right before the exit door, and declaring their dedication to Chelsea…

The real reason Gary Megson was appointed by Bolton

You only have to watch Gary Lineker and his horrible golf buddies on the BBC to realise football is a big horrible backslapping mess where jobs for the boys are a matter of course. So it comes as no surprise that, maybe, just maybe, Gary Megson didn’t get the Bolton job because of his impressive CV. As the Guardian point out in an excellently gossipy article this morning:

“It is difficult to sympathise with Megson when looking at his appointment and the role of Mark Curtis, the agent appointed by Gartside to headhunt a replacement for Sammy Lee.”

For, you see…

“For a long time he has also been the first port of call for anyone in football wanting to get hold of Megson, and he also helped to negotiate the finer points of his contract with two previous clubs. Souness was so shocked by Curtis’s presence at his own interview with Gartside that he withdrew his interest, perceiving it to be a done deal.”

Oh dear, oh dear, what a tangled web we weave. And it could well be weaving Bolton into the Championship.

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