Transfer Rumours and Gossip: Manchester United, Arsenal, Tottenham, West Ham, Liverpool, Manchester City and more

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It doesn’t take much to fire up Arsene Wenger and Sir Alex Ferguson, but it’s got to be something special when it comes to a Greek god.The Manchester United manager’s bitch-ridden spat with his Arsenal counterpart continues into the transfer market with both engaged in a particularly energetic sprint for 19-year-old Greek defending god Socrates Papastathopoulos.

Arsenal have instructed their German scout, Thomas Kost, to set up camp in Athens and watch literally every second of Socrates’ life on the football field. Kost is even watching the Greek lad train. SIr Alex has responded by sending his brother Martin to have a butcher’s hook at the young imp. Who will the Greek boy choose?

Still with the Premier League table-toppers, Spanish Football expert Guileme Balague claims that Manuel Almunia has been put under “undue pressure from his own teammate” Jens Lehmann who has, apparently, bullied Almunia relentlessly with constant snide remarks like “Actually, you’re not very good, are you?”

Balague even asserts on the Times Game Podcast that “Lehmann has even made Almunia cry before (because of) the things he says and the way he treats him.” Two questions arise from this revelation; why on earth is a fully grown man, and a professional footballer nonetheless weeping like that? And secondly, what in the name of Primal Scream Therapy is Jens Lehmann still doing at Arsenal?

The Daily Mail is reporting that Fredi Kanoute could be on his way back to Tottenham in January. “‘Zounds! What the Dickens is Juande Ramos thinking?” I hear you yelping in anguish. Well, actually, according to tomorrow’s fish and chips paper, it is actually Damien Comolli who is pondering a move for Fredi, untterly unbeknownst to Sr. Ramos.

Kanoute’s agent is quoted as saying: “The door is open for Frederic Kanoute’s January move. I have called Damien Comolli and he told me that he does not know yet if he wants to sign a striker. He asked me to call him back on December 15 to discuss the situation.” Yeah, that’s what your mouth is saying matey, but your eyes say “Ker-CHING!”

The Daily Mail also thinks that Manchester City boss, Sven Goran Eriksson, has some apologising to do after dumping Swedish goalie Andreas Isaksson to the bench on Monday. Isaksson is grumpy because Sven opted to stay with England Under-21 keeper Joe Hart, who was still reeling from conceding six against Chelsea. What is it with snarky keepers?

Chelsea’s goalscoring machine, moneybags Frank Lampard, has admitted that he likes David Cameron, after having tea and crumpets with him. Perhaps Lampard has had to turn to the Tory leader because no-one gives a flying fart about Fat Frankie and Stamford Bridge. Avram Grant is too busy stalking young ‘un Charles Kabore from Burkina Faso to give a hoot about the Frankster.

Eternal optimists West Ham are set for some gutting news. Their constant, amorous moves or Inter striker Adriano are set for a permanent stamp of rejection when the goal horse signs for AC Milan. Did they really think they had a chance? I doubt party animal Adriano would sign for the Hammers even when under the influence.

The Daily Star is whispering sweet nothings in our ear; Liverpool, apparently want to celebrate their Peter-Crouch-led 8-0 record victory over Besitkas by signing up a 14-year-old from Burnley. Will Rafa have the cohones to put the little nipper above Crouchigol in the pecking order, and will the Spaniard give two hoots about Burnley’s “hand’s off our kid!” declaration?

The Daily Express may think that the LA Galaxy have such luminaries as Jose Mourinho, Jurgen Klinsmann and Carlos Queiroz on their shortlist for a new manager, but the wise sages at the LA-based Fox soccer channel think differently. They told their viewers on the “Fox Football Phone In” that it is 100% bang on certain that Steve McClaren didn’t fly 6,000 miles to LA just to watch David Beckham play. Macca also went there to interview for the LA Galaxy job. To be honest, this is glorious news, McClaren and his crappy management ‘skills’ will be thousands of miles away from Blighty.


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