Arsenal’s Big Willy gives Cashley the Blues

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What a truly terrific victory it was on Sunday. Not even my commute from hell this morning could quite wipe the smirk off my face as I thought about just how gutted that little snide would be feeling right now. I must say I was quite disappointed for long spells with how mild the abuse of Cashley Hole was, but then I guess it’s quite difficult to focus your vitriol on one particular person when you have a team full of vile tossers like Chelsea do. I personally found myself expending a lot of energy on the spiteful, but oh so ‘brave’, John Terry, and his lardy partner in crime – a more despicable pair you couldn’t wish to find on a football pitch.

But away from my utter dislike for their players, we were treated to a full-blooded, exciting and nerve jangling football match which could, and probably should, have resulted in a few more goals. The first half was a cagey affair, with neither side wanting to commit too much forward, and Arsenal struggling with just Adebayor up front, despite the return of the 3 Amigos, Hleb, Cesc and Grimandi’s love-child, the excellent Flamini. A couple of long-range efforts were dealt with comfortably by Manuel, but other than that there wasn’t much to choose between the sides. Terry and Lumplard were whining about anything and everything, with The Brave One trying to intimidate Cesc with a thuggish challenge on the edge of the box, but the game took an extremely welcome turn in our favour when Eboue left his boot in and Terry wasn’t quite brave enough to continue. As you can tell, I have a problem with this whole ‘brave’ thing that the media have bestowed upon him. He had his head almost kicked off by Diaby in the Carling Cup Final, was knocked out and went to hospital for treatment – how is that brave? If he’d got up with a gaping head wound and continued to head the ball clear, leaving arcs of blood spattered on the ball, THAT would be brave. But going to hospital unconscious? Nothing brave about that I’m afraid. But I digress. Having taken out the Chelsea captain, Eboue, who I have to say is the player I have liked the least in my 30 years as an Arsenal fan, could have been forgiven for taking the applause and walking away from Arsenal for good – he’d be hard pressed to reach those dizzy heights of achievement again! And in the last minute of the half, an uncharacteristic flap by Cech, and Gallas was able to out muscle Terry’s replacement too easily and nod into an empty net. 1-0 to the Arsenal.

The second half was as frenetic as we’re likely to see this season, with few chances created early on, and a lot of the excitement caused by the utter clown in the middle masquerading as a referee. I mean, seriously, what was Wiley on? If this is one of the best we’ve got, then we’re in a whole heap of trouble, because he was nothing short of shambolic. And don’t even get me started on the linesman who didn’t make a single decision in the first half before looking at Wiley first. Then we had the incident that should’ve seen us seal the game. Eboue was taken out by little Joey Cole (great dive in the 1st half by the way Joey, full marks), and replaced by RVP. During the interval, while we waited for the stretcher-bearers, the crowd finally treated the little snide to a rousing rendition of, “Oh Ashley Cole, is a fucking arsehole”, and, on a bitterly cold evening it warmed the cockles, it really did. When the game restarted, Arsenal instantly looked more dangerous with the Dutchman joining Adebayor up top, and he should’ve finished matters after a quick break gave him an opportunity from 12 yards, but he right-footed it over the bar – on the left, it was a goal. Chelsea responded with an open-goal miss of their own, with the mini-Wright blasting wide from 3 yards, and then the sorry figure of Shevchenko headed tamely at Almunia. After this it was all us, with Rosicky stupidly getting himself offside before RVP ‘scored’, and then Adebayor being punished for nothing more sinister than being a hell of a lot stronger than Ben Haim – well done again, Mr Wiley. The match ended with Snidey Snide McSnide, the Snidiest of the Snide clan, being booted by the already legendary Francesc Fabregas Soler and responding with a pathetic bitch slap, and then a V-sign, for which he may now face charges, at the final whistle. And his afternoon was topped off very nicely indeed when the exceptional Gael Clichy netted the Man of the Match champagne from Sky. Quality.

Chelsea’s manager, Baron Greenback of Dangermouse infamy, had the following to say:

‘I think we deserved at least a draw. The first-half we defended very well. We held the ball and they didn’t create even once chance, not even the goal.

‘Second-half was even better. We created two great chances but Alumina (sp) today was good. He made two great saves so we deserved more and I am disappointed.’

Fair point on Almunia, but the rest is rubbish. I’ve been slaughtered on here before for saying how well I thought Almunia was doing, but I think he made another big step to winning people over yesterday. Great handling bar one powerful, swerving effort from the Ukrainian, and 2 or 3 very smart saves. I’m pleased for him, he’s a nice bloke and clearly cares for the Arsenal.

Bring on the Champions League contenders from down the road next Saturday – it should be another thoroughly enjoyable afternoon.