In a league table of truthful newspapers the News of the World would definitely be in the relegation zone – but here at CaughtOffside we like a bit of tabloid tripe every so often. Today’s top transfer tale from the News of The World is that Roman Abramovich is going to flip open his voluptuous wallet and hand over an obscene amount of dosh – £80million – in an attempt to snag Barcelona’s Lionel Messi. So is there any way that this nugget of transfer goss can be anything but an utter fabrication?

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