Have Spurs already made HUGE £14m signing: Could this be true?
by Mr Comfort on July 2nd, 2008
| 203 words |
This former Arsenal man has apparently already signed for Spurs. .At least that is what this report below states!
Sweet news. The boy Bentley is indeed coming to Tottenham Hotspur.
A large thank you to Big Yid who broke the news on here today. David Michael Bentley who underwent a medical Tuesday 24th of June 2008 at 9pm at Holly House Hospital, Buckhurst Hill, which the player passed without incident.
This also ties in with Little Dave’s sightings which were posted yesterday. You may have a ring of security around your signings this season Mr Levy, but where there is a will, and there is a will, there is a way…
The delay in the announcement is anyone’s guess. (oleole.com)
Could it be true? Clearly the £14m-rated Blackburn Rovers man is a target of Juande Ramos, and this rumour has been stewing for a long time now. Paul Ince has tried his hardest to make it clear to his wantaway stars that he sees them as part of the club’s future, but maybe Bentley’s desire to leave has proved to strong? Do Spurs fans think this latest bout of speculation is further evidence that a deal has almost been struck for the midfielder?
We're giving you £10 FREE so show some bollocks and BET NOW!
Tagged Under: blackburn rovers, Premier League, tottenham, Transfer Rumours
thomas Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 9:54 pm
it is true
Im Davids dad and i can confirm he passed the medical
Personally im an arsenal man, so i not over impressed he gone to the spuds but all the same good luck to the boy
will hit all the tabloids tomorrow
Jason Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Yeah and i’m his brother, it will be announced 2moro, alright dad, how you doing.
joanna bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:36 pm
amd i’m davids sister he has passed a medical and the transfer will be announced tommorow, oh hello dad and bro how are you both doing?
Big Momma Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:39 pm
Im David grandma the 1 who used to breast feed him as a kid and i can tell you its all true he will sign on the dotted line tomorrow before he comes home for his feed.
Great Grandad Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:40 pm
and i’m his great grandad and my family are full of shit
thomas Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Hi son, I’m doing fine. Just having a bit of fun with your sister **wink wink**. You know how us Gooners like to keep it in the family. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you my boy. You can sit on Daddy’s lap tomorrow and we can play Nintendo Wii - you can use my own private joystick if you’re lucky.
I drive a Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:41 pm
im davids dads sisters brothers son, hows it goin fellow bentleys? haha muppets, hope its true though, Bentley is a class act and think he’ll do well down the lane. Hope the signings not at the expense of Aaron Lennon though
granny bently - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:43 pm
elllo everybody, im Davy boys gran and he pissed the medical it was so easy. the lads a yid and thats an end to it. by the way why the hell is the whole family on here?
Tadpole Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Hi, I’m David Bentleys unborn son. I live in his sack so i know whats going on. He is actually going to accrington stanley in a deal worth £156.50. And he wanks a lot.
Juande Ramos - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:51 pm
There seems to er be a little holda uppa witta the transfer of Senor Bently to the Laner. Senor Bently wanna the club to pay for his own chauffer to driva him around in guessa what, yessa you guessed it - his owna Bently car! Mamma mia! You know whatta I say? I say David, no problemo, I give you that numpty Damien Commoli to be your chauffer. At least this way that French dipstick can justifya his wages. I thank you.
Martin Jol - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:56 pm
i shhhhhhhink dat david bentley shhhhould go to tottenham hotshhhhpur and i wishhh i washhhh shhhhhtill their manager inshhhhtead of that juande ramoshhhhhh chappy. Blackburn Rovershhh will get lotshhhhh of money for him tho which-shhhhhhh will be nishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhe for them. not happy about him being an ex ar5hhhhhhhhena1 player though. shhhhhhh
Juande Ramos ain't Italian - July 2nd, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Is he?
David Bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Alright Family…didn’t expect you to all be on here….it’s true i’ve passed a Medical….Alright Juande see you tomorrow mate.
jonathan parker-bentley - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Hi I’m David’s brother in law (married to Joanna) and I’m a tosser…. I have a double barrelled name cos I’m so up myself. It’s true… David passed his medical and the doctors were so pleased they gave him a bag of Jelly Tots. David told me he was only going to the interview to get his interview technique right because he’s been a little out of practice. We were having a couple of drinks a few weeks back and I beat him at poker and as he only had 56p and a can of fanta on him he promised me he’d sign for my Team West Spam… he’s a lying bleeder… anyway we’re no longer talking!!
Bentley Continental - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:07 pm
I’m David’s car.
Vrrrrrroooooooooooooom!
Bentley Boys - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Ha the article is pure speculation but the comments after had me in stitches. Well done yidos!
Dr Bent-Lee - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Dear all,
I undertook David’s abovementioned medical. I would love to say he passed without incident, although alas he has a Bent-knee (what us Doctors call lax anterior/posterior cruciate ligaments & ruptured medial collateral ligament). However, I’m a gooner and want to see the Spuds expend much capital on a chap who is essentially a cripple.
Unlucky chaps,
Dr Bent
Bent Lee - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:21 pm
David Bentley is hot! Ooooooh mince.
Bent-Lee - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 pm
ring piece bentley ” the tru bently
David Bentley's sisters, friends, boyfriends, dogs brothers owner's dad's, previous car owner's, gardener's friend's, cleaner he has on holidays boss's sons' bully who stole his frisby's comunity support officers landlord's wifes best mate's favorite acto - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:49 pm
I have never met David Bentley, but i can assure you he is on his way to spurs, and actualy signed 19 years ago when he was 4, the clubs are just delaying tha anouncement
Lee Young Pyo - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:50 pm
hewwo, me good fwiends with david and twue hes signed. ps. im leaving and i no wah ur thinking, im shit. yes its twue
Tim Henman - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Hello, im Tim Henman what u sayin
C'mon Tim - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:54 pm
by all those wankers in the Wimbledon crown circa 2001 - 2006
Chirchill - July 2nd, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Yes!
Papa Smurf - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:03 am
Hey y’all… I ain’t related to David Bentley, no sir. Ah got blue skeeen and aaam teeny weeny. Oh, yeeeah. I’m a blue tac maaaaniac!!
Cristiano Ronaldo - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:29 am
Hi, errrr, yes, errrr, i heard that, errrr, he is going to, errrr, Tot-ting-ham, errr, why am i, errr, here, errrr. I have one dream to play in spain, sometimes dreams don’t come true…
Easy As You Park The Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:30 am
I’m David’s agent and can confirm that Tottenham have made no official approach yet. David is looking for European football (Champions League preferably) but as he is a Spurs fan he would relish the chance to play in North London again.
David Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:01 am
Hi, I’m the dude, I’m the man, I’m the real thing. I can confirm that I will be joining Tottenham Hotspur because I’m crap and no big clubs want me.
Samuel L Jackson - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:07 am
I have had it with these muthafuckin rumours on this muthafuckin page.
Darren Bent-ley - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:31 am
Right I’ll be off then
Mr C - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:14 am
Has anyone got any veras?
Luuuuuuuvely!
Nicklas Bendtner-ley - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:15 am
Adebayor whos Dad is a… anyway Adebayor who keeps hitting me says its true
paul ince - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:16 am
I DONT HAVE A CLUE WHATS GOING ON, I KNOW I WILL TAKE BLACKBURN DOWN TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP AND OUR 10,000 FANS WITH US. I DO KNOW OUR FAN BASE DONT DESERVE PREMIERSHIP FOOTBALL
arsene wenger - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:18 am
oh god know i am in charge of ar5ena1 and i am selling my best players and signing nasri who couldnt get into a old poor french midfield, come back david dein
Cesc Flabbyass - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:27 am
Doughnut wurry boooosss i am hhhheeree, burt i may need to leafe tho with Burndly, Moodrich, Santos & that haaandsum new goalie i fear that 5-1 thrarshing may becum 10-0 next seassson, surry booss
Barba - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:16 am
High I am the Bulgarian champions-league worshiper spurs spoiled forward…The reason why I trained with spurs lately is because I have been assured that Mr. Bentley’s deal is done and dusted.
Bent Ree - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:25 am
Herro….. I his masseuse flom Shanghai. Coo eee! It tlue,it tlue he tord me hisself as I lub away his dairy wollies. You see. It be in Dairy Mair, The Millol, all the tabroids.
Mark Hughes - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:58 am
The comments are excellent!!!!
dudu - July 3rd, 2008 at 7:38 am
COMEDY GENUIS - I AM IN TEARS
Sammy Lee-Bent - July 3rd, 2008 at 7:52 am
David is my illegitimate son, and there is no chance of him going to spurs, i am bringing him to my spiritual home of anfield.
I can’t believe how tall he is, well at least i am at crotch high, so my knees don’t hurt
BRUCELEY - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:03 am
AIIIIIIIEEEE!! Miiister Bentrey wiw be signin’ todaii. If he does’n, I will get yu oll, wi ma 1 inch punch. Enta da Dlagon
Darren Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:04 am
I’m not related to him in anyway and I know nothing. However, I am shit
David Beckham - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:13 am
ha ha revenenge at last. I’ll teach you Spurs lot for not selecting me when I was a nipper. Now I have raised a poor copy of me in my lab in LA and my plan is coming together with Spurs willing to spend 12 million on a player more over-rated than I was.
love ar5ena1 - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:16 am
I like to tell my fellow gooners to go fuck themselves.
Daniel Levy - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:18 am
Hello, I am Daniel Levy and i can confirm that we very close to signing Bentley, there is only one problem which is my friend commoli. Since i let him sign the cheques he has been signing all sorts of people who i dont think play football, we have had people from all over the world and even a prince but they cant kick footballs like the others. He really wants crouch…..which is strange because he is no.1 polevaulter in liverpool, i think he plans on swapping for keane, i think is bad move
Fido Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:19 am
WOOF!! Please don’t go master. I love it when you tickle my tummy and ‘accidentally’ flick my willy, WOOF! And when you put Pedigres Chum on your manly area for me to lick, it makes me so happy that you rescued me from that bad Mr Barton who just used to beat me, WOOF!! I wouldn’t like London anyway - I’d end up in a kebab in Seven Sisters, WOOF!!!!
They Call Me Bruce-Ley - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:59 am
I never berieve anyfing before it appears on Official Spurs site however I will hunt down and kung-fu chop these so called “In The Knows” if this ploves to be borrox!!!
Aaron Lennon - July 3rd, 2008 at 9:10 am
Hey, why do you all think that David Bently is better than me? What you can’t see on the telly is that there’s a bloke in the crowd who looks just like Robbie Keane and he always confuses me when I go to put in a cross.
Also, I may run like a girl but just look at how cool my eyebrows are.
LKE - July 3rd, 2008 at 9:24 am
IS THIS JUST PEOPLE MESSING AROUND OUR IS THIS TRUE
READ THIS
http://www.teamtalk.com/football/story/0,16368,1784_3769983,00.html
AND IS THERE ANY NEWS ON VILLA BEACUSE APPARENTLY HE HAS SIGNED A PRE CONTRACT
MalaysianSpur - July 3rd, 2008 at 9:31 am
Egad! Totally hilarious! Laughed so hard, I nearly busted my guts! Whooooaaaa!!!
Bentleys Tentley Rentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 9:35 am
Festival season is approaching fast! Get all your camping supplies from Bentleys Tentley Rentley. All tents come in blue and white, so it matters not if you’re a Spurs or B’burn fan.
Giz - July 3rd, 2008 at 9:41 am
Yeah, include David Bentley’s middle name to make it look as though you know what you are talking about and there is truth in this claim - that will trick us.
Peter Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:00 am
Hi… I’m Peter Bentley the famous photographer you can find my website here http://www.cs.ucl.ac.uk/staff/P.Bentley/. I’m Davids Uncle and I would like to confirm that these reports are true! David was over the other day and we were doing a shoot for http://www.bent.com which is a Gay dating site. While I had him over the barrel of my camera lens he admitted to me he’d gone to Holly House for his medical. Apparently while he was there he got them to give him colonic irrigation and a new butt plug so he was well pleased. Yes He’s going to go to Tottenham but he’s still practising his signature and hasn’t quite mastered the use of the pen yet… but don’t worry he will be there.
Uncle Pete
Wow - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:05 am
Start of the comments on this article is the best thing that’s even been on caughtoffside
peter - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:13 am
hope david signs soon. by the way enyone know enything about new staduim they where going to say something in june
Esther Ranzten - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:17 am
Hi its Esther here, and I’ve got the biggest front two teeth you have ever seen x
Simon Everitt - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:41 am
who is Simon Everitt?
Bentleys left leg - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:43 am
I can confirm that the right leg has signed, however me, the left leg is currently stuck in Paul Ince ass
Cilla Black - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:50 am
what the fuck am i doin here la?
Spurs Doctor - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:06 am
David failed the medical because he has a teeny weeny schlong
KK - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:10 am
I would love it, just love it, if David signed..
Damien Comolli - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:13 am
I’m Damien Comolli. I’m an idiot. I know nothing about football but Mr Wenger sent me here to spend all yous guys money on shite players who couldn’t crack the Blue Square Premier, let alone the Premier League! Another £40m to spend and my job will be done…..hahahahahaha
Bubbles Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:19 am
Hi…glob….I’m David …glob…Bentley’s goldfish Bubbles….glob…..ermmm….who am i again…..Hi…glob….I’m David …glob…Bentley’s goldfish Bubbles….glob…..ermmm….who am i again…..Hi…glob….I’m David …glob…Bentley’s goldfish Bubbles….glob…..ermmm….who am i again…..Hi…glob….I’m David …glob…Bentley’s goldfish Bubbles….glob…..ermmm….who am i again…..
David Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:31 am
Hi its actually me here. I’m coming to sign with Spurs tomoro so not long to go! sorry its taken soo long. i’ve just been trying to find a house so thought i’d do that before. also i have been on holiday in ZANNTTTEEEE so yeh sorry fellow yidsss. see u guys next year
David Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:38 am
p.s Did anyone see that pic of me and Bale?! I rimmed the fuck out that spunk trench…
David's Lent bee - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:50 am
Hi! I’m David’s pet Bee ,that he lends out to fellow Premiership footballers who are trying to impress da Ladies by offering Honey to them.
Anyways, I can confirm that he did indeed have his medical (I was sitting on his shoulder at the time,incase he needed any honey)
Spot - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:51 am
I’m Bentleys dog an my thoughts on the matter are;
Woof woof, wo woof , woof woof.
I hope that clears things up.
Floella Benjamin - July 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 am
Helllllooooooo children. I can confirm that David Bentley has signed for the yids….I saw him through the round window!
aussie Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
gday, I am davids lost convict great grand father, hope you join the boys at the lane,oi,oi ,oi
Mr T - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I pity the fool who has to play at left back against Spurs next season!
The Fonz - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Can’t wait till we sign David Bentleeeeeeeeeey!
Dimitar Berbatov + Darren Bent - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Please don’t be true, we already spend enough time arguing about who gets the nickname “DB”
Hossam Ghaly - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I can’t believe we’ve signed David Bentley……I thought I was the answer to the Spurs right midfield problems?
Dean Marney - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:36 pm
please, I am cheaper than bentley. I cant remember witch team I play for thou…. anyway sign me up and you have a new right midfielder…
Paul Daniels - July 3rd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
Oooooh, now thats magic!……Where’s the lovely Debbie McGee?
Johnathon Two Saints aka GDS - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Hola.
Soy yo, Giovanni dos santos. yo me asiento al inglés vida y cambié mi nombre para convenir. Bentley de David ha pasado su médico y debe estar aquí pronto. espero impresionar y entretenerle esta temporada. gracias
i errr wil lern errr english soon.
Gayel clichy - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:06 pm
Bonjour mesures I am scared of de Bentley, because he is so sexy I forget wich balls to watch MERD
Arsene Wenger - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:09 pm
ER I did not see this coming
A Librarian - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Arsene why is all the talent going to the Spuds, is it time for me to change teams again?
Papa Smurf - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
I can indeed confirm that David Be…. oh shit there’s Gargamel.
Borat - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
David Bentley is Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice
Sexy Time.
Yoda - July 3rd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Bentley: You must unlearn what you have learned. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.
Beware of the dark side. Anger…fear…diving…cheating…not seeing. The dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight
Fonsworth Bentley (P Diddys Butler) - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:05 pm
I’m so glad little David is going back to London, once Ive finished washing Diddys smalls, Ill be turning on ESPN and praying they have an update. The way he bends those balls is amaaaazzzziinnngg
He is my inspiration and the reason I chose my name
Take That Take That
Mr. Burns - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Eeeexcelent!
Jonathan Ross - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
allo… Jonathan woss ‘ere… I heard on the gwapevine that bentley
weally has joined up with the gweatest team in the world… Spurs!!
chris hughton - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
great signing for spurs..
ps. miss the lane xxxxxx =(((
SpursMalaysia - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I’m laughing so hard m in tears…
Alan Sugar - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:34 pm
If this is not true …..
“YOU ARE FIRED !!!”
Quasimodo Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
“It’s Esmerelda she says David’s signing!”
Actually, Cardinal Richeliue has had me ringing the bells of Sacre Couer all morning to announce the signing - hasn’t my cousin, Jean de Florette de Quasimodo been put to the same task in Westminster?
Liam Gallagher - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
I’ve heard David Bentley is signing for the yids……in that Spurs shirt, ‘our kid’ is gonna shiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Los Lobos - July 3rd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Yo no soy marinero, soy capitain, soyt capitain soy capitain.
Al Pacino - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
You talking to me?
Mentally bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Literally laughed my head off and now I can’t find the f**ker. Good job I can touch type!
Roy Walker - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
David Bentley?….thats good but its not right!
Andy Gray - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:16 pm
E te ya wat, Son. Put ma socks un yes’erday, straigh oot tha top draw. Only te find a gaping hole in em. Threw em away. Yew jus don save those.
Sol Campbell - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Fancy a bum?
Reg The Bill - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
You’re nicked! Banged to rights… Bentley To Spurs
Guillem ballague - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Hello everybody I’m Guillem. Sorry I didn’t mean to spit on you. It’s just the way I talk. You can find out about all the latest Bentley stories on my fantastic super fantistico website http://www.guillembalague.com. I can exclusively reveal that I spoke to Dave whilst he was on the toilet last night and as you can see from my website http://www.guillembalague.com he will be signing for Real Zaragoza, I know this as 100% correct, done deal, and it has nothing to do with the fact I like to show off my Spanish prounounciation of this team. Hear that exclusive interview on my website http://www.guillembalague.com
Chris Kamara - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:27 pm
You won’t believe what is happening here lads, in this….where am i?….somewhere in darkest Africa……oh my god Jeff….. its unbelievable scenes here….Andy Gray has just thrown his socks away…I mean, can you believe it…. I’ve never seen such drama…i mean…truly….i’m lost for words Jeff……unbelievable….. Jeff…I’m speechless…..Andy Gray 1…Socks Nil……Back to you Jeff
Richard Keys - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Anyone seen my bic? My hands need shaving!
Derek Griffths - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Hello I’m the famous Derek Griffiths, that played the flute theme music for Bod and also the voice of Superted.
My favourite season of the year is Autumn and my favourite garden implement is the Hoe x
Johnny Ball - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:43 pm
David Bentley, when you sign for Spurs, what number will you have on your shirt?….go on….think of a number?
Frank Arnesen - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Hi although I’m earning a tonne of money as the Mr Abramovichs personnel groomer (I spend a lot of time on internet chat sites) I was wondering if I could have my old job back? I used to be a well known figure within the footballing world with contacts through-out Europe but now-a-days I spend my time dressed in a gimp suite, locked in the office basement, with only a large black rubber dildo for company. Could someone put in a good word for me?
I’m sure I could get David Bentley to sign, I know lots of ways of attracting kids, all else fails I can use Jose’s rohypnol trick?
WilsonSpur - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Bentley to Spurs? Brilliant! *dance* Uur uh uh uh uh urr Urr uh uh uh uh ur..
Guillem Ballague - July 3rd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Hello i’m Guillem, sorry about that, don’t mean to spit, its the way I talk. Now I can exclusively reveal that Andy Gray’s socks were not thrown out but were sold to a guy from Real Zaragoza. Yes thats right, it’s the team I like to say all the time. I hope it makes the girls like me. I can assure you i’m correct abou the socks, it’s a done deal you must look at my website. Please look at my website. It has lovely pictures of Me and Bentley doing the Macarena
Doctor Who - July 3rd, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Just returned from the year 2028 and i can tell you that Spurs have been champions for the last 20 years.
David Bentley is now manager and speculation about Berbatov leaving is still in all the papers.
Arsenal and Manure now play sunday league over Hackney marshes, Chelsea went bust and are now known as Tesco.
Jaunde Ramos - July 3rd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
David bentlys signing will be announced during the janurary transfer window, as of yet i am not sure which year this will be
Repect to all my players, homies and p doggs
much love
David Pleat - July 3rd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Well, Daniel Pentley is marvelous player, with a sack of tricks. He reminds me of a cultivated bull! But more to the point, Denis Bantley will almost certainly be joining Berbatrov, Puddlestone, and John Lennon at White Hart Avenue.
Joe Barton - July 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Hi, my new cell mate is in for armed robbery. He done a bank, but got caught. During the hold up he raided the managers office. Any way turns out it’s where THFC do their banking. Even though he was busy pointing his gun and shouting at staff he looked on the managers desk and sitting there was THFC statment for the month. Intrigued he had a good old look through. right at the end of the statement he see’s a sum of 16M quids paid out to BRFC. Under the coulmn transaction reference it said Bently.
At was at the point the law came flying in and before he knew it he was cuffed up and on the floor.
Anyways i’m going off for a shower now, everbody is so freindly in here.
Elvis Presley. - July 3rd, 2008 at 4:53 pm
A well I bless my soul
Whats wrong Bentley?
Im itching like a man on a fuzzy tree
My friends says Im actin wild as a bug
Im in love
Im all shook up
Mm mm oh, oh, yeah yeah!
Santa's Little Helper Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Woof, I’m David’s whippet. I’ve just come out the Spurs boardroom where I’ve been helping to finalise the deal, and I can confirm it’ll be in all tomorrow papers.
Robin Van Rapist - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:00 pm
ANY YOUNG GIRLS IN ERE WANNA MEET UP FOR A FRIENDLY DRINK??? IM FAMOUS SO CAN DO WHAT I LIKE TO GIRLS AND WONT GET CAUGHT….HEY HEY
Robin Van Persie - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:01 pm
yeh me too!!
I'm Gonna Take It Too Far Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Yes I am David Bentley and i can confirm i am joining tottenham and this reliable journalist has got it spot on!
fuck off!
Seriously Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Best Article Ever
Robbie Savage - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Frankly, I don’t give a fuck about this trans.. BRB gotta take a shit lol
Ali G - July 3rd, 2008 at 5:55 pm
Is it cos I is black? i gonna ave to talk to me boys on da east side, me’s not appy about it. gonna ave to see ma julie and maybe squeeze her babylons… and give er a bonin just ow she likes it… boiakasha!! innit!
Baby Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:00 pm
Gwah mah mah mah ya Spurs, gee gaaa gaag, 5 year deal, mmmwaahh gigg lahh….wwaw fucking gooners.
Jimmy Saville - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:09 pm
David Bentley to Spurs … I think I can fix it for you.
Eboue is a dirty tosser - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:21 pm
LOLZ I KISSED A MAN
Elvis Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I’m all shook up !
Bentley's rent boys pimp - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:27 pm
HI ther mofos now here dis, da muddafuka dat is bentley iz coming to d lane and that coz my lil hebitch manwhore told me cos hiz been wid im for 2 weeks nah gettit!
now com jeez and get d bentley………..
not dat 1 u biaaatch da car ,da car!!!
brrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppptttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.manwhorhebitch.com
http://www.myotherrideisyourmum.com
http://www.bentsbrownpipe.com
Bentley's Dog Dave - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Woof! Woof!….Woof!…White Hart Lane Woof!
David knees Bent arms straight ra ra ra ! - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Top quality stuff, well done yids
Hartley Hare - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Topov just told me David Bentley is signing for Spurs.
Well done on the scoop !
Berbachops - July 3rd, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Me and Keano will now stay becoz of the bentley.
Best news since I had a supermodel balancin on my nuts this morning.
Sol Campbell - July 3rd, 2008 at 7:27 pm
tottenham going for an arsenal reject, sums up what kind of team they are..
yidgrenade - July 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
does exactly what it says on the label…
Bentleys Doctor - July 3rd, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Bentley will not be signing for Spurs as he has an Anal fungus and Bunions on his foreskin.
Martin Tyler (Sky Sports) - July 3rd, 2008 at 7:59 pm
I look forward to commentating again next season and I will continue to mention Manchester United in EVERY game i’m involved with, even if they are not one of the teams playing, Ohhh…. I love them so much I want to have their babies…..see I’ve done it again, I even mentioned Manchester United on a thread not involving them. so what is this thread about then? Oh right, Bentley to Spurs…….lets see, Bentley plays for Blackburn, Blackburn is in Lancashire and so is Manchester, and Manchester in the home of Manchester United, so it was relivent after all.
Meat Balls - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:27 pm
Actually darlings, I have some ITK on this. Shall I tell you luvvy, shall I ? See if you can work it out from this clue:
Oh Mrs Palm
and your 5 lovely daughters
Thank you for having me
and being oh so kind
I’ve got pains in my arms
and my donkeys growing shorter
My knees have turnt to water
And I think im going blind
Adebayor - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Well im not errm suree what to errm say.
Ah.
My dad washes elephants and my mums a whore.
That is all.
Forza Milan
whoops - July 3rd, 2008 at 8:49 pm
alert(’whoops’)
Jason Dozzell - July 3rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I am a spurs legend! bring me back!
Chrissy Hughton - July 3rd, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Right let me grab my notepad
quagmire - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:17 pm
giggity!
Rabid Bentley - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s David!
quagmire - July 3rd, 2008 at 10:18 pm
whats everyones favourite post in this article so far? Some had me in stitches!
Arsene Weneger - July 4th, 2008 at 12:55 am
Any of you kids need a lift home?
Abdul Aziz Bentley - July 4th, 2008 at 12:59 am
Well done Davey Mate, aunty Faiza and the kids are well pleased. See you in Riyadh soon…
Noodles on Ftl - July 4th, 2008 at 7:59 am
Oi.. come here.. a bit of ITK here…. he will be arriving at the ground tomorrow… deal is done.. Lennon staying but only as new entertainment officer
Prof on coys is a closet mincer … shhh.. keep it yourself
LKE - July 4th, 2008 at 8:39 am
this is crap because bentley has not had a medical and why hasnt he be announced yet by the way im bentleys dog and he is going to villa
Alan Smith - July 4th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Hey David, i was just wondering if i could sign with you… cos i dont like it up north, you see keegan touchs me in my naughty place while oba martins watchs
Kevin Keegan - July 4th, 2008 at 9:06 am
i jus love it… i jus love touching alan smith
Heather Mills McCartney - July 4th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Hey David, why don’t you sign for Spurs, then marry me and I’ll then take you for 85% of your signing-on fee and 70% of your wages for the next 92 years.
I know there is a risk you might sue me but lets be honest, it’ll never stand up in court…..you won’t have a leg to stand on!
Sir Bobby Robson - July 4th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Carl I mean Shola I mean Kieron I mean Alan Bentley would be a fine signing for Spurs
Graeme Souness - July 4th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Sir Bobby Robson i didnt see you at the job centre this morning, you didnt take that job in southall did you?
Bobby Robson - July 4th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Dont be so silly Souness i would never work in tesco’s…and also jus call me bobby
Osma Bin Laden - July 4th, 2008 at 10:18 am
I can’t believe Arsenal let this guy go. Infidels! I’ll put a jihad on them for this.
George Bush - July 4th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Where you hiding Osama?
Aaron Lennon - July 4th, 2008 at 10:29 am
ruuuude manz wil b bare gutted if Bentley cums totten ham blud plays mi position jus cos he iz taller den me ;
manz can merk aniii breh with mi pace u gt me allow Bentley he iz blatently bent aS wel saafe doe
Tony Blair - July 4th, 2008 at 10:29 am
where are you hiding George! You naughty boy!
George Bush - July 4th, 2008 at 10:31 am
I knew i would find you Laden… now watch this drive!!! swosh
The man from the Halixfax advert - July 4th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Just saying ‘Hi’
Jose Mourinho - July 4th, 2008 at 10:51 am
errrr jello…! i jav some breaking news for all you wonderful tottingham fans…. if you like i can tell you… if you don’t want to know i won’t tell you…. is hup to hyou…?
Jay Zently - July 4th, 2008 at 10:58 am
uh, jiggaman here , see me at glastonbury?
bent to the izzi ly to the izza
ssshhhyea. it’s your boy
Roy Keane - July 4th, 2008 at 11:00 am
now y see i’s likes a joke as much as d’next man and as such i’m tinkin dat you’s all b making me smile, apart of course from dat LKE fella, he dosn’t seem to me t’be understandin that the whole ting has evolved now and is really about d funny comments that we’s all be wroitin and as such he’s still askin wedder this bentley fella is really gonna sign at d lane… I tell ywhat LKE, nobody knows ok, its firkin silly season in de ol transfer window and what will be will be and what won’t be won’t be so you’s jus needs to relax a little bit and let tings tek der course…. if you don’t join in wid d joy and fun then you might as well just put on an arsenal shirt and pop along t d immigrants wid all me pikey cousins
Christian Gross - July 4th, 2008 at 11:01 am
alright bently me old son,
wanna buy an oyster card?
Jose Mourinho - July 4th, 2008 at 11:03 am
h’ok, jyou not be esking me, ji not be telling you, is simple no?
The man from Del Monte - July 4th, 2008 at 11:06 am
I say yes
Eric Cantona - July 4th, 2008 at 11:15 am
wen ze bentley is in ze car park we can all point and look and ask ourselves is zis a car or a footballer…? If eet leaves a trail of dust as eet acceleratesz away we can wonder if ze cross will be bad or will eet hit a Villa? Will zee strikers be Keane to score or will zay remonstrate wiz ze unfairness of it all? And what I hear you say is ze hospital for? A medical for ze footballer, an MOT for ze car or a straightshacket for the voyeur at ze immigrants? You could ask ze man but he will not bear witness to any of his crimes…. denial will arrive with “ze cries of i did not see eet officer”….
so you see, all is now clear…
Eric The Viking - July 4th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Norways number one, norway, norway’s number one
Adulf Hitler - July 4th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Ich bin der Grandad von David
Eric Cantona - July 4th, 2008 at 11:25 am
allo, thorstvedt? why ees it that wheneva i philosiphise you olways jermp upon ze wagons zat carry my luggage? I know zat you ave beeg ands but my ead iz considerably larger zan yours…
David Bowie - July 4th, 2008 at 11:25 am
David is my son
King Arthur - July 4th, 2008 at 11:28 am
David is my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great granson
oyvind leonardson - July 4th, 2008 at 11:33 am
whatever happened to me?
Lee from Ben Folds Five - July 4th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Hi there. I’m Lee from Ben Folds Five. There are 3 people in my band. I reckon there will be 2 more signings this summer and Bentley will be at least 6 of them. I’m going to sing high pitch now.
Doctor Billy Bigfinger - July 4th, 2008 at 11:55 am
I can confirm that Mister Bentley has indeed passsed a stringent medical and can spin 360 degrees on ach one of my fingers.
thank you
bidley advent - July 4th, 2008 at 11:56 am
seasons greetings to all spurs fans
Breaking news......... - July 4th, 2008 at 11:57 am
Arse whinger has confirmed the signing of the baggins brothers……..
Sloth - July 4th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Heeeeyyyyyyy yoooooouuuuuu guuuuuyyyyyssssss……..heard Benthley wasth signing thor thspurs!
Emil Dantchev - July 4th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
I can confirm that Bentley wants to leave Tottenham and will be doing so very soon
Michael Jackson - July 4th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I can confirm that although David Bentley has signed for Spurs, I will still maintain an interest in the Under 8’s side rather than the first team. Gary Glitter will be my assistant, with Jonathan King and Pete Townsend as coaches. Arsene Wenger will become the new Director of Under 8’s Football.
Pascal Chimbonda - July 4th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Why am I still here?
Daily Mail - July 4th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Bentley has today handed in a transfer request at Spurs, citing lack of Champions League football as the main issue.
He wasn’t available for comment, and neither was anyone at the club as usual when we publish any story about Spurs.
Willlam Gallas - July 4th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
David, please don’t sign for Spurs….I might just have to go and sit in the corner and cry like a big baby and lose the respect of all my teammates(again!)
bored now - July 4th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
is he signing or what?
Gary Glitter - July 4th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Arsene - we still on for tonight mate?
Arsene Wenger - July 4th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
aaaah oui Monsieour ‘Up The Shitter’ Glitter….meez lookeen forward to seeing ze look on ze little boys faces as we both walk into their bedrooms with our johnsons in our hands
Monty Python - July 4th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
I can confirm that David Bentley will sign for Spurs as soon as he has taken his dead parrot back to the pet shop, he only recently purchased it from this same “boutique”. It’s was a Norwegian blue, which David first thought was a Scandinavian porn movie, but decided to keep it as he felt sorry for it due to it being nailed to it’s perch to stop it mussleing up to the bars in it’s cage and voom!!! He tried putting 10,000,000 volts through it to revive it but this was a dead parrot, it had ceased to be, it had expired, it’s a stiff, it it hadn’t been nailed to its perch it would have been pushing up daises, it’s Fcuking snuffed it.
He now hopes to swap it for a cockerel nailed, sorry I meant standing, on a big ball, he saw a badge like it once and loved it.
Mark Lawrenson - July 4th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
I use a mixture of pooh and pubes to form my famous moustache, im looking to market the idea, there just isnt enough pooh moustaches in modern football, im convinced its because of all these foriegners and their hygenic toilet manners.
David Bentley has agreed to model my poohstaches as part of a sponsership deal I’m setting up which should free up enough funds to actually get him to sign for Liverpool. Sorry Spurs fans, now I must go I’m due for a butt plucking, Greame Souness has put in an order.
p.s. Im gay
Dimi Dimi - July 4th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Make a good cross for me DB then I will put it in the onion bag and we will be such legends that the fans will call us The Deadly DBs who brought the title back to the Lane. No more cigars for you and me, no more tomato sauce, and no more beer but even so I am so happy now I could sing… ‘the hills are alive….with the sound of Mitko’
Bendtner - July 4th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Don’t come to Emirates David whatever you do. In one game I scored an own goal, my team mate punched me, and my captain spat in my face. And that was a good day
The Whole Arsenal Team - July 4th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
We are gay, we are gay, arsene wenger, he is gay, we are tossers, we are wankers, we fuck each other every day
Emmanuel Adebayor - July 4th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
my mums a whore
the whole Ar5ena1 team - July 4th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
we are gay, we are gay, we fuck each other every day
Dave to the izzle- Z - July 4th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
ive got 99 problems but spurs aint one
The Real Bentley - July 4th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
As a spokesman for Bentley Posh Cars PLC, can I distance myself from all these silly messages, and assure any aspiring footy star that we are more than happy to massage your ego and prove how rich and stupid you are by charging you £100,00o+ for what is essentially a tarted up VW.
Dimi Dimi - July 4th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Hi again David. If you collect football cards I have a lot and some are quite rare. When you sign for us we could swap some of our doubles if you want to. Our kit is very nice and the fans are crazy and sing all the time like crazy people so it is great here and you will love it.
Norman Collier - July 4th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
I think that……………..right up the bum, it was a right……………..and yeah it works with a turtle.
Alan Hansen - July 4th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Yes Bentley’s a gud pleeyar, boot, wooold ya look at ther defendin from der left back on every one of dem assists? I meeen, fook me! Ploos, the centraaal defenders look like disheveled elves as der not in tha same liine. . .
ok ok, i’ll oown up. Tha reason why im a shit pundit, is not cos i know fuck all about the sport. Its cos me and Gary Lineker go behind tha camera and bum each other again and again during the game, returning for HT and FT analysis. I had a tenner on Torres first scorer in the Euro final, and didnt know id won until HT when i analyzed it! With tha money im gonna buy a crate of vaseline for the new Premier League season on MOTD. If only we worked for ITV we could shag on the adverts. . . .
Gary Lineker - July 4th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Fuckin hell Alan! Whats your game? Its meant to be a “secret” love affair. Ive had to get bummed a thousand times from Lawro so that he doesnt give us up. All gone to fuckin waste, as you’ve announced it on a Bentley story coments page!
Next you’ll be telling them why Ian Wright really left the BBC. . . oops!
Ian Wright - July 4th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
oi! leave me the fuck outta this! Whats my son gonna say if he reads this? You dont know which son im talkin about ofcourse cos ive got kids with fat mommas everywhere.
But still, a News of the World scoop story entitled “Bentley signs for Spurs as BBC love triangle exposed on Spurs fansite” would really knock back mi chances of becomin the first black manager in the PL. Ince is white really you see, he took Michael Jackson’s colour and Jacko took Inces.
Shit! Another story exposed!
Paul Ince - July 4th, 2008 at 3:26 pm
How the fuck has Alan Hansen and Lineker’s love affair ended up in exposing my super secret operation?
Look, I was a young bookworm, and couldnt get anyhwere in life. So I thought having a cooler appearance might enhance me. It did, until now. I wannabe a manager, yet all chairmen seem reluctant to hire a black man. Racist cunts. Anyhow, ive been trying to get hold of Jacko for aaages, to reverse the operation. Chairmen dont have anything against ugly managers of alienetic proportions, i mean look at that pedo Wenger! Jacko wont accept, he actually likes the way he looks. Twat. Im stuck like this now, meaning I can never become the England manager, as the FA are even more racist than the PL Chairmen.
Seems as there seems to be a chain of exposed stories erupting from every post, ill carry it on. . .
WENGER SLEEPS WITH KIDS!!! oh wait, thats already well-known. . . ermmm ok then. . .
BENTLEY WILL SIGN FOR SPURS. . . . oh sorry, just read the article title, you know that too. . . im gonna have to expose my most secret secret then:
GUS POYET ISNT IN SPURS’ PRE-SEASON PICS BCOS HES BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS! THE SAME ONES HOVERING OVER WALES!
Jesus - July 4th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I am a spurs fan and so is my dad
Jesus's Father - July 4th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Stop playing around with those Shitty Spuds son and come n clean up ur room…
Emmanuel Adebayor - July 4th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
And my dad washes elephants
oh dear - July 4th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
how is this ‘comedy genius’ - nice one dudu. i wish you’d all die.
Alan Shearer - July 4th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
I’ve got a funny joke everyone
How many trophies did I win ?
Satan - July 4th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
GOONER TIL I ER…DIE….SOMEHOW.
Ashley Cole - July 4th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
Fancy a bum ?
I’ve got the new Nokia we can use
Jermaine Jenas - July 4th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
oi ash you cumin tonight
i beg you put ur Nokia in me
David Bentley - July 4th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
WOW the Spurs sign me and you fans are going crazy. Imagine what you would have done if they actually signed a good player like Villa. I guess at second rate clubs they go crazy about second rate players like me.
David Bentley - July 4th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I’m David Bentley’s Goldfish.
He likes me blowing bubbles at him.
Jermaine Jenas - July 4th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
oi Ash is it in yet !
Ashley Cole - July 4th, 2008 at 6:28 pm
jermaine the whole of it is in can you feel it vibrating
Gently Bentley - July 4th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
My signing will be announced on the 1oth. Harry Hotspur is a legend.
Some 1 lick - July 4th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
my poo ring
Dean Whitehead - July 4th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
This Bentley saga is all a smoke screen. I’m coming to Spurs!
ronaldinho - July 4th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
@@@@@@
@@@@@@@
@@ O O @@
@ oo @
@ @
UU
Sir Alec F - July 5th, 2008 at 2:37 am
Hewwo
Bentwee’s jusht shined on the dottid wine faw me.
Yer aw wee raj numpties. Have a biscuit.
Eric Cartman - July 5th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
eeeeeh
screeeew youuu guuuuuuyyyss
im goin home
oh and i heard from kyle who heard from kenny
who heard from abraham lincoln who heard from jimi hendrix
who heard from winston churchill who heard from jesus who heard
from God….. That Bentley passed his physical…. so they gave him a kiss and on he went… in tabloids in a couple of days Old Honest Abe Said
Shit Fuck Donkey Balls! Oh Sorry you guuuuuuuys well anyways
im gonna get myself sum piiiie
Matt Damon - July 6th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Matt Damon!
Ace Ventura - July 6th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
NOBODY!
MESSES!
WITH!
THE DOO!
Barry Scott - July 7th, 2008 at 7:48 am
I’m barrry scott, cillit bang and the dirt is gone
Simon Cowell - July 7th, 2008 at 7:49 am
I’m going to say…yes!
Louie Walsh - July 7th, 2008 at 7:50 am
David Bentley reminds me of a young Westlife.
I will also say yes.