COS contributor takes a light hearted look at what it takes to fulfill the requirements needed to take Anfield post.
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Liverpool Football Club
Founded in 1892, Liverpool Football Club is a professional football club based in Liverpool, England. Which plays in the Premier League and is one of the most successful in the history of English football, winning more trophies than any other English club. Liverpool has won a joint-record eighteen league titles, seven FA Cups, seven League Cups, three UEFA Cups and five European Cups, an English record.
Manager
Responsibilities:
• Report to Incompetent American owners who will in time(roughly 6 months after they have fought it out amongst themselves) give you an answer to the most simplistic questions.
• Responsible for the football team management.
• Supervise and ensure a quality youth setup.
• Player transfers (In & Out).
• Win The Premier League, Carling Cup, FA Cup, UEFA Champions League, UEFA European Super Cup, UEFA Europa League, World Club Cup and The Charity Shield in the first time of asking.
Requirements:
• A degree in Motivational skills – Tactical knowledge is not necessary. A bad first half is no problem, as long as the team plays better in the second half, it shows you are bound for greatness.
• You must have a Masters or be a Master magician when it comes to finance, funds are not available. Club policy is sell to buy, however, re-signing contracts is calculated into the transfer budgets.
• Knowledge of Continental football and English Football
• Mind reader – Able to read the minds of a small group of supporters who think they are the next “Jose Mourinho”. Injuries are not taken into account.
• Proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel and Internet applications – This is necessary to search up your next team selection… If you don’t, the consequences are that you will be forced out of the club and will have to settle with Managing Juventus or Real Madrid.
• Must win all competitions that you should participate in… Winning 4 Trophies, 6 finals and 3 runners up awards is not good enough… For further information please contact Rafael Benitez at Rafa@Liverpool,Madrid,Turin?.com
• You must obtain a +60% win ratio. For example, If you obtain 58%, the small group of supporters will be calling for your head like in the witch hunt era, 60% is legendary status… For further explanation please contact Rafael Benitez and Kenny Dalglish.
• You must be a trained physician – Star Trek style – Some fans think that footballers are bionic, government weapons… This will avoid too much internet browsing.
• You must play youth players even if they are injured or not ready for first team football – This will become evident when you browse the internet for your team selection.
Salary:
• Preferably volunteer work – Sacking the current manager will cost us 14 million pounds. When the new stadium is built you can ask for a pay rise… Completion is supposed to be in June 2011, but works still haven’t begun.
Preference:
• Martin O’neil – Must take lessons in how to handle foreign, world class players and learn to win in the Month of March… Also how to build a football club without spending nearly 100 million on average English players.. Yes Martin, some of us know.
• Marco Van Basten – Steve Mclaren can do a good job in Holland, why couldn’t you? Don’t worry I won’t tell many people that you are so incompetent that you make our “umbrella” former National Coach look pretty damn good.
• Guus Hiddink – Must seek approval from Ivory Coast and Chelsea before applying. And no, this isn’t a “damage limitation” job, we expect you to take the club forward… Back to school before you apply.
• Jurgen Klinsmann – Must take football management course, what you did with Germany during a world cup was half impressive, if the tournament would have been held outside of Germany it would have been a success, unfortunately that wasn’t the case… Don’t worry we won’t be calling Bayern Munich for your managerial profile, you’re safe.
• Roberto Mancini – Please note before you apply that in England your main competitors will not be banned or receive point deductions, enabling you to win everything you have ever won in their absence.
• Jose Mourinho – If you ask Real Madrid really, really, really nicely to pay us compensation for our manager, we could maybe work something out.
*applicants please forward your CV Tom & Gerry, shortlisted applicants will be contacted hopefully before 2012*
Don’t forget to check out Online Football Manager!
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Related Posts:
Liverpool Set for Tempting £36m Mascherano Swap Offer: Rafa Benitez Ready to Offer Player plus Cash Exchange



anonymous - March 16th, 2010 at 1:48 pm
That’s actually half amusing and half accurate. Who the hell would take the job if Rafa left. Its a poisoned chalice as long as the Americans are there bleeding the club dry
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anonymous - March 16th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
I’d take Jose Mourinho in a second. Yes he doesn’t play the best football around but he does know how to inspire his team. Rafa has no motivational ability whatsoever. He may have had some qualities in that field in 2005 but alot has happened since then and now its time he went.
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anonymous - March 16th, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Anyone who is sufficiently happy just because we beat an already relegated Portsmouth side needs to wake up and smell the coffee. We are in a horrible situation and things are only going to get worse with Rafa at the club
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Retryboy - March 16th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Mickey finn you are such a prick lol you really need to see a doctor! Anyone who still doesn’t think this season is Rafa’s fault the team sheet for last time when we played Pompey and lost 2-0…Gk-Reina RB-johnson LB-insua CB-Carragher CB-agger CM-Mascherano CM-lucas LM-Dossena ACM-Gerrard CF-Torres RM-Kuyt… Yes super tactical genius rafa who hasn’t apparently been here for 6 years is actually in his first season and hasn’t apparently spent £239m played 2 attacking players!! Kuyt is a defensive winger when he plays on the right, 2 holding midfielders, a left back LM who did he have on the bench? Benayoun and Babel! fit but not even on the bench? Aquilani. There is no disputing that this season rafa has continually ignored better options, more balanced teams for the sake of his favourites. Total negativity. Then when its too late just like last season he takes the shackles off the players and we see how good they are. Michael fish you should have never gone over from the weather to news!!
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anonymous - March 16th, 2010 at 7:48 pm
woow retry u should clap for urself…u can never b a manager sorry apart from FM10 u just think ur so full of knowledge u hater
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anonymous - March 16th, 2010 at 9:52 pm
ha maybe u shud re-name yourself
RE-CRYBOY!
some of this article is true and it obviously hurts!
call for the yanks’ head as much as rafa!
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anonymous - March 16th, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Ah lol, the dysfunction that is today’s Liverpool. I can’t lie about American owners… So far they both suck and blow (all American owners). Would love to see Paul Allen buy an EPL team. That man would get it right.
Anyway, enjoy the Europa League elimination next year.
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anonymous - March 16th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
I’d take Jose Mourinho in a second…..who r u ? sons of yanks?
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Mickeyfinn1983 - March 16th, 2010 at 11:17 pm
Retryboy,
You always have a nick of twisting facts don’t you…LOL
The Portsmouth team that we beat Yesterday was also NOTHING like the one we played in December…. Different Goalkeeper, different back 4, etc.
You can go on and on about it’s all Rafa’s fault and such… I understand that he also has to take a part of the blame… BUT IT ISN’T ALL HIS FAULT!
if we was to play the team that we played against Portsmouth against the Mancs we will get fucked in so many different ways that they are going to have to rewrite the Kama Sutra…
Anyways, the article was a bit of fun, you taking it so personal lets everybody know that you consider yourself a part of those “Jose Mourinho’s in disguise”
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 12:04 am
anonymous – March 16th, 2010 at 1:49 pm Totally agree…..
Mickey nice post, and I liked the way you did it, but sorry i do not agree with it
If anyone watched the Chelsea/Inter match tonight unlike what Graeme Souness would have you believe it was Jose Mourinho’s tactics which was the real difference maker.
As Rudd Gullit explained it was Mourinho’s play of Pandev and Eto’o wide that near enough stopped Yuri Zhirkov and Branislav Ivanovic from having free reign to come forward as and when the liked. This was backed up minutes later by Jose Mourinho’s post match interview…..
It funny how all the so called English pundits laugh at Gullit, yet he is nearly 99% right on his analysis of matches…..
Jose Mourinho’s teams Porto, Chelsea and Inter have a few things in common….
1) The players always trust him
2) The play for him and do almost anything he asks them to do without question
3) They all have a winning mentality
I for one would welcome Jose Mourinho with open arms, and I do believe that if offered he would come to Liverpool….The mans a winner
Jose Mourinho as done Liverpool a great favour should we finish 4th…. If Chelsea had have gone through then the 4 places for the champions League would have become 3, and instead it would have been the Bundesliga that would have gotten 4 placings instead
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:20 am
12.04souness isnt english his scottish and gullit was as shit as manager as souness so dont matter anyway
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:24 am
I think liverpool need to sign Darren Lockyer the Brisbane broncos, Australia and Queensland captain the mans a genius
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:33 am
Retart-boy go and suck Martin O’Neills arse or dick, whatever will fit in your mouth, what the hatred for Rafa any way, he bummed you or what???
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 12:33 am
sport.co.uk/news/Football/35574/Lawrenson_Benitez_must_be_shown_the_door.aspx
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baggins09 - March 17th, 2010 at 12:44 am
right fair enough its a funny read, but if your happy with this season then your a fool or a united fan! and no matter what you say mickey rafa has been poor this season and has probably cost us are champs league spot and cost us the league last season and past glories don’t count for fuck all especially ones with another mans team, haven’t you realised the more of his own players he’s brought in and the more power he’s got the less we’ve achieved
rafa needs to go simple as
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:44 am
me me me i got this right i got that right thats y ur a prick retryboy
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 12:50 am
Mickey can give you 101 reasons why you are a prick and like ya latest fella not even touch the sides!
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:51 am
Rafa has cost us the season, so has Gerrard and Carragher..
Gerrard with his shit displays, and don’t defend him with his previous displays of other seasons. If you are going to do that then do the same for Rafa, cos he has done well in the previous seasons too.
Carragher with his numerous mistakes all season, wether being caught out with pace, own goals or hand balls.
So blame all, but its easy to blame Rafa cos he’s just a foreigner.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:52 am
strange how u say u hav ur own views but u trawl the internet tirelessly get a life man
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:54 am
isnt mickey u tit
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:59 am
12.44funny i sed that on anotha thread who’s copy&pasting?
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Mickeyfinn1983 - March 17th, 2010 at 1:00 am
Retryboy,
Sorry mate but that article is the worst article i have read in ages… He just keeps on rambling about the same damn thing over and over again… And if he really thinks that the team from Houllier would even stand a chance against the team we have now just about shows his delusion
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 1:07 am
Retry-boy are you Elton Johns bitch?
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 1:10 am
rafa sold bellamy,crouch and xabi barry is older and can someone tell me what he can do what xabi can’t and is no better than john.a.r. at left back who we replaced with dossena who has gone
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Mickeyfinn1983 - March 17th, 2010 at 1:13 am
Donavan,
If we had a chance at signing Jose Mourinho, i would pack Benitez’ bags and take him to the Airport with destination “Costa Del Sol” myself!
My point is that getting rid of Benitez is one thing, hiring a manager of the same caliber is a totally different ball game
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 1:32 am
do you think Jose will come to Liverpool and deal in the transfer market with peanuts like Rafa has had to do????I don’t think so….Mourinio is a manger who like to spend big on big players, just look at his record, last year and even at Inter this year
Mancini
Inter Milan Roma € 13million
Ricardo Quaresma
Inter Milan Porto € 18.5million
Sulley Muntari
Inter Milan Portsmouth € 17.7million
Diego Alberto Milito -
Thiago Motta –
Lucio –
Samuel Eto’o
Marko Arnautovic -
Wesley Sneijder -
Will he come to Liverpool where your budget every year is, sell players + 15 million on top.
…………Yes this is what Rafa has had to do., whether you like to admit it or not.
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 7:47 am
Anon-just press one button newsnow hardly trawling the internet lol benitez-Torres £20m, Mascherano £18.5m Aquilani £20m Keane £17m Babel £11m managers like O’Neill built their squads never spending more than £10m on a player…you know the likes of milner and young the ones we should be paying £20m for now! Get off the spend because nobody cares its what rafa does with the squad and you have no argument! There is more to being a good manager than your transfers its one part of it!! Anonymous legion of 1 lol
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kutex - March 17th, 2010 at 8:20 am
and retry, are u saying these players where bought in one season?
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 9:17 am
Kutex-he spent £40m this season he had to replace 2 players could have got 4 quality players with that money! Why do the rafa fans continually go on about the net spend then give the gross spend of other bosses when arguing their against them? If people want to spout off lists other managers have bought you can do the exact same thing with benitez. Again though its not about the transfers the only reason people go on about it is because it deflects away from the selections, tactics and decisions that are mainly responsible for our nightmare season as proven when rafa finally does what was obvious to a lot of fans all season.
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kutex - March 17th, 2010 at 10:28 am
am still asking, rafa hater, did he have 40mil cash to spend on those 2 players? cos i understand Glen-17 mil, part was of the money was owed us from crouchy deal and aqua-18 mil to be paid with a payment plan and also alonso had to go.
Ok, selections, tactics, and decisions mainly responsible for our nightmare this season, the same selection, tactics and decisions that got us close last season. What abt injuries to key players and players losing form this season?
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 11:07 am
i think rafa should take some blame for the mess
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 11:40 am
Stop whineing you bunch of bell ends. It is how it is deal with it.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
kutex he hates rafa with the sort of passion that u wud think rafa rejected his advances! he seems to hav a personal problem with him maybe he livs nxt door and rafa’s been playing his music 2 loud. lol
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 12:53 pm
FUCKIN HELL! AQUILANI’S GOT A STOMACH BUG!ANOTHER AURELIO
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 1:31 pm
anonymous – March 17th, 2010 at 12:20 am …… “12.04souness isnt english his scottish and gullit was as shit as manager as souness so dont matter anyway”….
What do you mean that Gullit was shit as a manager?????…… Rudd Gullit did well for Chelsea until there was a revolt against him lead by Gianluca Vialli, Gianfranco Zola, and a few other Chelsea players…. The team when on to win the FA Cup that year and Gianluca Vialli ( the then player manager) had to admit that the winning team was the one that Rudd Gullit had put together (Gianluca Vialli would suffer the same faith the following season)……
Gullit’s time at Newcastle was short because again a revolt Lead by Alan Shearer after Gullit told him that he would not get into the team automaticly, and dropped him for a game….. Can’t see how any of that makes him a bad manager
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
In Fact Anon ……
Gullit was appointed as a player-manager. Gullit made a promising start to his managerial career when in the first season as a player-manager he guided Chelsea to an FA Cup triumph in 1997, the club’s first major trophy in 26 years.
Gullit became the first non-British manager to win the FA Cup. The club also finished at a credible sixth place in the Premiership.
The following season, with Chelsea in second place in the Premiership and proceeding to the quarterfinals in two cup competitions, he was sacked, He was replaced by Gianluca Vialli, a man he had helped to bring to the club
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 1:44 pm
anonymous – March 17th, 2010 at 12:51 am….. ” So blame all, but its easy to blame Rafa cos he’s just a foreigner.”…..
Cut the crap Anon’ It’s like me blaming Rafa for not winning because he isn’t Jamaican
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Mickeyfinn1983 – March 17th, 2010 at 1:00 am …… Are you not Michael Fish???? If Not then I’m really sorry mate, don’t know where i got that from…..Sorry
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Liverpool FC legend Mark Lawrenson believes Rafa Benitez’s six year tenure at Anfield should come to an end after this season even if the club finish inside the Premier League’s top four.
The former Anfield stalwart suggests Liverpool FC have gone backwards under Rafa Benitez, and the Spaniard’s record in the transfer market, particular those in the £10 million bracket, has been poor. Lawrenson dismisses the idea that the club’s American owners have played a crucial role in Liverpool FC’s demise; instead singling out Benitez’s “revolving door transfer policy”.
Lawrenson believes the Liverpool FC side Rafa Benitez inherited from Gerrard Houllier is now better than the one he has constructed, suggesting the likes of Lucas Leiva, Emiliano Insua and Dirk Kuyt are not good enough for a side that have won five European Cups.
The Liverpool FC hero told Mirrorfootball.co.uk: “Rafa Benitez must be shown the door at Liverpool at the end of the season.”
“It is time for change and the Spaniard should go, even if Liverpool somehow manage to finish in the top four.”
“Benitez has had six years at Anfield and, if anything, the club has gone backwards during his reign.”
Despite winning the European Cup in his first season, Lawrenson suggests Liverpool FC have gone backwards under Rafa Benitez.
The former Anfield stalwart continued: “Benitez’s record in signing players around the £10million mark is appalling.”
“Look at the likes of Albert Rieira. Decent in his first season, but has flattered to deceive. Dirk Kuyt works hard, looks decent in a good team, but decent isn’t enough for the five-time champions of Europe. Emiliano Insua looks like little boy lost. Lucas will never be a top player.”
“Frankly, you can go right through Rafa’s team and most of them are found wanting.”
“Just compare the Liverpool side that lost to Wigan and now Lille to Gerard Houllier’s team in his final game in charge, a 1-1 draw with Newcastle in May 2004.”
“This was the final line-up: Dudek, Finnan, Carragher, Hyypia, Riise, Murphy, Hamann, Gerrard, Kewell, Heskey, Owen. You cannot tell me that team, that squad of players, would not have beaten the Liverpool team which lost at Wigan. So, in six years in charge, Benitez has gone backwards.”
“It’s ridiculous to suggest that the Spaniard has not had money to spend, either. He’s had a lot of money. In fact, there’s been a revolving door transfer policy at Anfield.”
“Benitez spent £18m on a right-back, Glen Johnson, in the summer. Good player, but Liverpool needed another striker. That’s bad judgement.”
“Alberto Aquilani is supposed to have cost £20m and replaced Xabi Alonso. Has it worked? No chance.”
“So please spare us the sob stories about no money. Yes, the feud between the Americans has been a distraction, but it comes down to the manager and the players he has brought in and allowed to go.”
“The supporters have been fiercely loyal throughout. They have been remarkable, in fact. But I went to Wigan on Monday night as a spectator.”
“I sat with a group of fans who go home and away and now even they have turned. They won’t go again while Benitez stays in charge. Liverpool needed to really go for it at Wigan. To get that fourth spot, they need to get results away from home.”
“While I’ve always been a Benitez supporter and great defender of his, even for a large part this season, the time has come for change. And it should come even if Liverpool scrape into fourth.”
“Even if the Anfield men pull off a remarkable end to the season and scrape in, this season has taught us that Benitez has had his time. He’s had six years and now, after going backwards, it’s time for change.”
“Whether that change comes because Liverpool decide he has go, or Benitez gets offered another job at Real Madrid or Juventus, enough is enough.”
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Ok Kutex you blind fool picking 2 attacking players in a team had nothing to do with us losing at Pompey before then…Benayoun, Babel and Aquilani playing wouldn’t have changed the result in the slightest. Lucas and Mascherano playing together all season hasn’t had any bearing despite the results from that showing otherwise. Prattle on about your net spend and last season with your eyes shut everyone else can see it apart from you and your faggot mate stroking your wannabe goatees. One question though where are your comments on the matches?? Only thing you come on here for is to have a pop at rafa-haters! You are in the same category as dickhead mickey mouth pair of Fucking losers!
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 2:18 pm
whos the loser living on this site.dick
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Who still calls it the Charity Shield, retro. If it’s too expensive, why don’t they give him gardening leave.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
3.43u been on the whacky baccy?
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Funny article..especially the preference bit……….genius so to say…..
i wouldnt blame Rafa for all the problems we have had,i would say he played a part but not everything in entirety is his fault…the players are to blame,the owners…the coaching staff..again i say the players…Lucas,Kuyt,Gerrard,Carragher the lack of depth,BENITEZ’S try and error methods including tactics and player selection,PLAYER BUYING DUE TO LIMITED FUNDS from the club we can go on and on and on…….injuries which we dismiss as an excuse but is a reason…..the fact is it wasnt Rafas fault…..Rafa another year is given..it took Ferguson almost 6 years to win the first league cup rather barclays premier league so let Rafa get some more years……………………………….
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Play Football manager, let the assitant pick the team, use that team on Saturday, because of this I am a quality manager, I am after your job Rafa
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kutex - March 17th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Retryboy, think something has really gone wrong with you. you ve descended so low these days. dishing out insults and name calling. been following ur comments of late and all you do is insult those that dnt agree with ur points, too bad.
And come, what makes you think ur comments abt matches are valid, you proud faggot. coming on here and blabbing abt who shld have played and who shldn’t have, ow the manager did this or that.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Donavan i am Michael Fish, my nickname is Mickeyfinn
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Aquaman - March 17th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Donavan
I’m afraid that article says pretty close to nothing. It’s the same old ex-player rabble rabble pleh which we have refuted time and again on this very website.
No good signings in the 10 mil bracket? What does that even mean? Is the 10 mil bracket 10 mil and below, 10 mil and above, or precisely 10 mil? If it’s below then Reina, Agger, Skrtel and Yossi beg to differ. If it’s above then Torres, Masch, Johnson and Aquilani do too. If it’s precisely 10 mil then you’re being a little too specific. Rafa’s also pretty poor in the 14 mil bracket since we haven’t bought anyone for that much.
As for Houllier’s team which is apparently better than our current team. I refuse to take Wigan as a fair comparison, as he’s comparing Houllier’s fully fit first team against our injury ravaged half team. I’ll be taking team against Tottenham at the start of the season; a game we lost, and with a strong side. I think that’s fair.
Dudek v Reina:
Reina wins. Dudek was good, but Reina is world class
Finnan v Johnson:
Johnson for me. Granted he cost a lot more, but Rafa made the necessary sacrifices to bring him in so he should get the credit for him being here.
Carragher v Carragher:
Hmm. Tough one…. but I suppose I’d take Houllier’s younger version.
Hyypia v Skrtel:
Again I’d take Hyypia as he was in Houllier’s time, but on current standings it’s got to be Skrtel.
Riise v Insua:
Riise. No real questions there, but ask again in a couple of years and who knows.
Murphy v Kuyt:
Murphy all the way.
Hamann v Mascherano:
Wow, this is more difficult than I thought. But it would have to be Mascherano for me.
Lucas v Gerrard:
Hmm…. Lucas definitely. No wait….
Kewell v Babel:
Oh gods. Now I have to choose the lesser of Liverpool’s two great desireless ones. Sigh… Neither.
Heskey v Gerrard:
Technically Gerrard is our current second striker, so I’d go for him.
Owen v Torres:
Stats say Torres is our best striker ever after such a short spell at the club. Granted Owen started as a youngster so that’s not really fair. Torres is far more of a complete player though. So he’s my man.
Final Lineup:
———————-Reina——————-
Johnson—-Carra—-Hyypia——Riise
Murphy—–Masch—-Gerrard—-
———Gerrard———–Torres———-
So, double Gerrard and Carra included, that’s 6 from Rafa, and 5 from Houllier. So would Houllier have beaten Rafa in a game against the two? I wouldn’t put my money on it.
Take full strength first teams into account though, and I’d have:
———————-Reina——————-
Johnson—-Carra—-Hyypia——Riise
Murphy—–Masch—-Aquilani—-Yossi
———Gerrard———–Torres———-
Which is 8 for Rafa and 4 for Houllier (Carra for both making it 12). Controversially I’m knocking Houllier’s Gerrard out of midfield as I think Aquilani would do the job equally well and Gerrard can be used up front.
So in this case I’d say Rafa’s team would murder Houllier’s. Nice try, Mark Lawrenson, but you get 0 points from me. Work out what the real issues are first before coming out f your hole again.
Not ragging you though Donavan. Just getting a bit sick of ex-players claiming to know everything and getting it all horribly wrong.
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Aquaman - March 17th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
To clarify. The defeat at Wigan was nothing to do with the quality of our players. It was down to the desire. If Mark Lawrenson had said “Rafa has clearly lost the dressing room” or something to do with the motivation of the players, then I would have agreed.
The quality of our team didn’t suddenly evaporate from last season to this, so clearly that’s not the issue. Yet, just like every other ex-player looking for some airtime, they re-quote the filth that the tabloids publish and try to parade as the truth. It’s pathetic. Tell us something new, even if it’s wrong, and I’ll listen. Tell me the real issues and I’ll applaud you. Parrot the clearly false and you get nothing from me.
So, Mark Lawrenson, please please please don’t tell the press what they want to hear. Tell them what is true.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 6:18 pm
rafa out
mourinho in
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
kutex 4.26 spot on a lot maybe feel that way but cant b arsed to get in2 an argument with the tool.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
donovan where r u? ur m8’s getting people who don’t agree with him quick hurry he needs help
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baggins09 - March 17th, 2010 at 7:26 pm
so everyone who disagrees with retry about rafa are you saying your happy with this season? and are you saying throwing the league away last season when it was ours to lose was ok?
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
what about pep gourdiola?he would bring in fast exciting young attacking/defensive players
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Kutex-i just put my name to mine only difference. Aquaman-we didn’t have an injury crisis against wigan at all and you can’t say that selection wasn’t again a big factor! He played Kuyt behind Torres a poacher with no creativity or movement he had Aquilani available or the option of Benayoun with Babel on the left. He played lucas as the defensive midfielder and Mascherano at right back when he had kelly available or johnson fit enough to be on the bench fit enough to start is a lot of managers opinion. The likes of Gerrard and Torres got frustrated because they had Kuyt as the link between them just like when rafa gambled our champions league progression on Voronin behind Torres despite Benayoun being brilliant in the role for a month prior. Kuyt would never work there worst player on the pitch by a mile. You can’t possibly say that if the team for that night was Gk-Reina RB-kelly LB-insua CB-Carragher CB-Kyrgiakos CM-Mascherano CM-Aquilani LM-Benayoun ACM-Gerrard CF-Torres RM-Babel/Rodriguez we wouldn’t have had a totally different result. Babel has always threatened this season, Kuyt had one good month and about 4 bad yet Babel got 8 minutes. Aquilani not much more. How after the difference the other night can you not admit rafa has continuously made the wrong decisions…when you saw the team sheet against Pompey you said “thats what i have wanted to see all season” and changed your mind to watch the game.
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
anonymous – March 17th, 2010 at 6:35 pm…… Hey its Mr. I never make a football comment, I just make snide remarks about Retryboy…..
You’re becoming all too boring. You really need to get a life…. And by the way your comments about….
“Retart-boy go and suck Martin O’Neills arse or dick, whatever will fit in your mouth, what the hatred for Rafa any way, he bummed you or what???”…..
Seems to me that you have latent homosexual tendencies and they are manifesting themselves in a rather unhealthy obsession with Retryboy.
The fact that he has rebuffed your constant advances on more than one occasion has lead you to make constant references to you wanting to see him involved in acts of a sexual nature…..
Seek help my friend, seek help
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Donavan Ried - March 17th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
anonymous – March 17th, 2010 at 4:53 pm
“Donavan i am Michael Fish, my nickname is Mickeyfinn”……
Thanks Mickey…… I was just that your post………… Mickeyfinn1983 – March 17th, 2010 at 1:00 am “Retryboy,
Sorry mate but that article is the worst article i have read in ages…”
Took it as you was saying to Retryboy that you thought the article was the worst one you ever read….. And I though, hold on have I been wrong all these months is Michael fish and Mickeyfinn two different people? Brains not with it these days Sorry for the mix-up, non mix-up….lol
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Aquaman - March 17th, 2010 at 10:23 pm
anonymous – March 17th, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Great idea anon. Now all we have to do is convince him that Liverpool is a better place to be than Barcelona. Good luck with that.
Retryboy
I never said that selection wasn’t a big factor. I said that quality of the squad wasn’t a big factor. As you so often say, learn to read! I was not saying that Rafa is a good manager so there’s no need to re-say what I have heard a hundred times. What I was doing was replying to a fairly run-of-the-mill ex-player comment which has nothing to do with the real issues. I know your view and you have said nothing new and countered none of my arguments.
You’re welcome to start your own debate just don’t make out like its a response to my comment when it has nothing to do with it. I would say that you’ve missed my point but that hasn’t ever had any effect up to now so I don’t know why it would this time.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Retryboy
End of the day you dont know what Rafa has to contend with you are second guesing most of the times.
At the game on Monday nght most of the fans are saying that the stability and ownersip of the club needs resolving quickly new stadium is required ASAP
A youth system to be proud of ad a transfer budjet should we need it.
At the start of the season we needed to sign 5 world class players and keep Alonso.
T
We DIDNT ! hence, why Torres came out with his latest outburst in frustration.
So you can imagine how all this transcends down to the players what are they to think if the world class players in the side think he’s no good and they go to Rafa wih this problem Rafa says i tried to sign him but we didnt have the money so i had to sign somebody as cover and it was a gamble.
I’m not defendng Rafa i just feel he has a lot to contend with since he has been hear.
Me personally would have JOSE in like a shot Rafa has had enough time but do you really think Jose would come to Livepool with the curent ownership positon and with no money ?
WHO WOULD YOU GET ?
Movin on
I’m not using this as an excuse but if we had played wigan on a saturday Liverpool would have won. If you have been to wigan the floodlights are terrible the pitch is terrible so for me the conditions didnt suit Liverpool at all I didnt watch the game so i cant make any further comment.
Pompey game
Quite impressed with the attacking line up lets see what happens Thursday
And finally, Retyboy you are at times aggresive with your take on matters to others and also insulting when you should know better looking from the ouside it seems you are trying to enforce your viewes, Hence why some on hear have a go at you with unsavoury comments..
Y.N.W.A
For Now
ALDO
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 10:53 pm
Aquaman my comments were in response to yours-you wouldn’t take that lawrensons comments were about the team that benitez fielded against wigan because we were ‘injury ravaged’ well we weren’t. You said it was all down to the desire of the players give you reasonable arguments to that point as to why Gerrard and Torres were frustrated. You absolve rafa of responsibility in that game i argued against that. I agree with you lawrenson’s comments weren’t the real issues and i don’t agree with him about Rafa’s transfer record as you know i have always stuck up for him on that and did get your point that pundits point to that all the time when Rafa’s critics that watch the games know the players are quality its what he does with them. That said i don’t agree with you when you say the defeat at wigan had nothing to do with the quality of players. Sure lawrenson knows there are better options available too. He was complaining about the quality of players on the pitch that night. The players rafa chose, have heard him complaining many times about Aquilani and Babel sat on the bench while lesser players get picked. So probably didn’t explain myself properly there
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Aquaman - March 17th, 2010 at 11:00 pm
Fair enough. Thanks for clarifying. Comment retracted.
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anonymous - March 17th, 2010 at 11:33 pm
Its not either the manager or the owners or the players its all of them.
Rafa came on the back of success with limited resources and hasn’t moved on. 4 2 3 1 one size fits all and no real plan B. Squad lacks depth and transfers pretty mixed at best. This season has been about his being unable to convince his squad that annoying alonso to the point of leaving was a good idea. not helped by having no high profile replacement for him and no other cavalry coming in. I reckon he’s all but lost the players.
Owners are parasites plain and simple.
Players have hit the wall and lost confidence in teh manager and the whole situation-Masch stalling on contract apparantly wanting to see evidence of spending plans, Torres apparantly making the same noises. News then breaks of new Americans coming in with an investment and same day more or less they put in a better more composed performance against a side they lost to in Dec.
Still think the biggest issue tho is the debt and god knows how that’s going to get sorted
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Retryboy - March 17th, 2010 at 11:36 pm
Aldo-look at the threads i talk about the games and the stories. My concern is liverpool. The likes of mickey finn and Kutex don’t their only comments are to me. Their first thoughts are if they have something to attack me on anonymously or logged in. You know mickey finn politely asked me who i would want as manager. I said Dalglish with ablett under him, O’Neill, Mancini, van basten other contenders. Look at the list in his article! Has anyone in the media mentioned Mancini or van basten as contenders?? Argued once with mickey that given time spearing could be the same able back up to Mascherano as lucas is. He spent months posting sarcastic shit about how Spearing is the new Dalglish. Talk about Dalglish as boss you get ‘bring back souness’ anonymously for months. The O’Neill comments constantly because i rate O’Neill and he spent all day arguing with me anonymously trying to prove that O’Neill was shit and couldn’t i argued him with the facts, he tried making things up and i pulled every made up point up. He couldn’t win the debate so i get ‘Fuck off to villa’ and ‘go and shag O’Neill’ anonymously of course. So what should i do then not win debates fairly? Not pull up people if they doctor figures like i did with mickey on his articles? Bloke admitted he trawls the liverpool sites putting the evil 2% of fans like me and Donovan in our place so we don’t corrupt those who haven’t got an opinion of their own(thats you lot apparently) so what i do is defend myself but i don’t pussy foot around with mickey finn guys a prick told him many times just don’t talk to me make a lot more harmonious site but he can’t leave it. Can have decent debates with everyone until the attacks come. Exactly what this story was designed for. Wasn’t any arguments between anyone mickey mouth not happy with that! Again where are their comments on the great performance?
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Mickeyfinn1983 - March 18th, 2010 at 7:06 am
Retryboy,
Don’t flatter yourself, the anons giving you lip isn’t me… The only times that i have ever posted as an anon is when my computer has automatically signed me out, and then i stick my hand up and say it was me.
The so-called time that an anon gave you shit about Martin O’neil definitely wasn’t me either, i think he is an OK manager, never liverpool class but for teams like Villa, Leicester and Celtic, good manager i guess.
You have a blatant hate for Rafael Benitez, you are the one that misintrepretates facts and figures, you are the one that keeps on spouting the same shit over and over and over again about your Mascherano, Lucas, Aquilani and Babel debate… The only reason you use this is because whether he plays A, B, C or D you can always keep slagging him off cos he can’t play them all at once… You use your 4-4-2 stupidity in stats that show results but you fail to mention we was playing mickey mouse at the time, which conveniently you neglect. He then plays the way you want to in a game against Portsmouth(Bottom of the league, lost nearly all of their good players, and being played at Anfield) and use this once again in your hate tirade… Yes i like the performance against Portsmouth but we still conceded a goal and against other opposition we would have been in trouble, which is what i keep saying… Play like this against Man Utd and they will gang-rape us… If you don’t believe look at Arsenal’s record against the Mancs… To beat Man Utd you need to be solid!
You also fail to mention that on various occasions on different topics i have constantly brought up the subject Benitez out… Like i did there i will yet again do here… Sack him, And then what?
This article was intended as humouristic sarcasm, what i said about all of the shortlisted candidates is TRUE…
Martin O’Neil is crap in Europe, Can’t win in the month of March, ow wait 1 win in 7 years and he can’t handle top profile footballers of a different nationality to British
Roberto Mancini… Only has a CV showing Champions of Italy, etc. Because his competitors were taken out of the Equation, either with point deductions or relegation from top flight football
Marco Van Basten was sacked at Ajax… The easiest team to manage in a poor league like Holland
Guus Hiddink is a great manager who can do wonders with small teams, but it is always a case of damage limitation, he is never proven at a top club!
Jurgen Klinsmann, probably one of the worst managers around at the moment, the fact that he has managed Germany and Bayern Munich and failed miserably at it proves my point
Jose Mourinho… My absolute idol, i would give my left nut for him to manage Liverpool… However his annual pay package at Inter Milan is 10 million pounds + bonusses… Can we pay that kind of money? Dream on!
And just remember Retryboy, you are the one that insults people when they disagree with you, just remember that before in future you make a tit out of yourself again… You always get personal… In every article i have ever written your first comment is reference to my name MICHAEL FISH, damn proud of it too! This is the kind of behaviour i expect from a 10 year old, i am nearly 27 now so spare me the petulance will you
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anonymous - March 18th, 2010 at 7:55 am
THE CHOSEN ONE
wow its all started lol
not here wink wink but at liverpool
just as i said
riera first to come out and slag rafa
he wants his move
2 weeks fine and on the bench till end of season lol
oh dear
who next……
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Aquaman - March 18th, 2010 at 10:56 am
I think the simple explanation for Riera’s lack of inclusion is that he’s going to be sold in the summer. Aurelio too. And Plessis. I would have said El Zhar as well, but he’s suddenly playing again, albeit around 10 minutes in 2 games.
Generally Rafa works on direct replacements (Torres for Bellamy, Johnson for Arbeloa, Mascherano for Hamann). So if Riera and Aurelio go, then that probably means a winger and left back will come in. Turan and Cissokho perhaps?
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kutex - March 18th, 2010 at 11:13 am
Hi Aquaman, do you sincerely think or wish Rafa is here next summer to make this direct replacement u talk about?
This season has has been so frustrating to us all and many comments here suggest it’s all down to the manager and his tactics. dnt completely agree with that though.
Aquaman, what is ur position on the manager cos ur comments shows u r neither here nor there. You post comments here at times like u r trying to plz some self-styled Rafa critics.
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Aquaman - March 18th, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Hi kutex
I don’t think that Rafa is going anywhere this summer. It’s not really a matter of whether I want it or not; I just don’t think we’ve got the dosh 1) to sack him, 2) to afford a better replacement, and 3) to entice such a manager in transfer money. Rafa is as good as we can realistically afford for now.
I personally don’t think that’s such a bad thing. We’ve had a shocking season and we’ve argued the causes for that time and again. My biggest candidates are
1) Our under-performing senior players (especially at the start of the season)
2) Injuries occurring at the worst times
3) The letdown from high expectations
4) Lack of a good replacement striker
5) Rafa’s inability to get the players back in gear
6) Rafa’s nervous team sheets
Rafa only ranks at 5 and 6 on my list (and 4 I suppose), so I’d say that he’s not the primary cause and cutting him out does not fix the major problem. Rafa’s done a good solid job while he’s been here under some pretty harsh financial constraints.
Rafa took some risks at the start of the season (brining in 2 quality players instead of 4 mediocres) which I applauded at the time. The biggest complaint before this summer (and I remember it clearly) was that Rafa wastes so much money on his revolving door policy. I even wrote an article on it at a later stage showing that mass in mass out transfers are no longer happening. Rafa has now got his squad and he’s perfecting it with a few major buys.
The big risk was Aquilani, and sadly it failed for this season. But what a player we have to look forward to from now on!
The major complaint at the moment is Rafa’s frequently negative (or defensive) lineup. This is why Portsmouth encouraged me so much. Rafa saw a chance to try the players he’s been so skeptical about and he went for it. Had it not worked we would have crucified him. But it did! And I really do expect to see that lineup used more from now on. (except that Aquilani has a virus and probably won’t play at Lille. See what I mean by injuries at the worst times?)
Ok. I’m rambling a bit, so let me cut to the chase. I expect Rafa to still be here no matter what next season, simply because of financial constraints. If we fail to get top 4 then the kop may well get restless and demand his exit with one voice. I expect better from them though. If Rafa is still here then we will know that we had no choice and they’ll get behind him as a necessary evil. Better that than destroy the team by trying to shout down a wall.
Personally I don’t see Rafa as the great evil who destroyed our season and single handedly lost the title last year. I see him as a man who is trying his best in very difficult circumstances and who gets very little credit where it’s due. The only reason we came close at all last year is because of the squad he built, the belief he instilled (ala Istanbul), and the tactics he employed (most noticeably Real Madrid at Anfield). The reason why we’ve failed this year is not solely Rafa, so I don’t think he deserves all the blame.
Hope that answers your question, in a very round about way.
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anonymous - March 18th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
THE CHOSEN ONE
AQUAMAN AGREE TOTALLY
ESPECIALLY THE SENIOR PLAYERS FACTOR
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Mickeyfinn1983 - March 18th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Aquaman,
Couldn’t have said it better myself… Good reply!
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Donavan Ried - March 18th, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Aquaman – March 18th, 2010 at 12:17 pm…… I don’t believe that it is so much if we can afford to sack Rafa, it is more like can we afford to keep Rafa…. £16m is a small amount to pay if we do not wish to miss out on the Champions League…. And remember if he is to take the job a Real or Juve then the pay out will be a lot less….
When we get the new manager I think that he will be told to play these players for a season and then he will be given a £40m transfer kitty plus the money from the players that he sells
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andy - March 18th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Aqua ! I can’t believe u said that ! Now I know who you really is. How come you say we can’t afford a better manager than Rafa ? Even Dalglish would manage us without being paid ! Why do you bother about Aquilani playing or not ? Didn’t you prefer Lucas playing with all the statistics and passing/tackling percentage that second to none ! What Rafa did on the Porstmouth game is absolutely opposite with your preferrence of the lineup. Even me myself surprised with the lineup because this is what I wanted for a long time and Retryboy also was crying for the same lineup which Rafa put on the Porstmouth game. So to some of you out there please don’t you pretend no more and just accept that Rafa has failed us big time ! Justice hailed and I hope that Aquilani won’t be able to play so that Lucas could and we see what happen !,
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kutex - March 18th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Thanks Aquaman. So pleased with ur response, great post man! So sad some fail to see anything good this great manager has done for our beloved club. Bashing him at every opportunity.
You were objective in ur response.
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kutex - March 18th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
below is Tomkin’s response to lawro’s Rafa attack
http://tomkinstimes.com/2010/03/media-muppet-of-the-week-2-%E2%80%93-lawro/
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Aquaman - March 18th, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Donavan
Ok, fair enough. Perhaps we do have enough dosh for number 1, but number 2 and 3 still apply. If we sacrifice our entire transfer budget for the summer then we’re going to be in trouble. Jovanovic is not fully signed yet (as far as I’m aware) and Aurelio is going to be off as well. So 1 real striker, 1 left back, and 1 real right back. That’s an injury crisis waiting to happen. Plus the new manager would have to work with the current staff, who will no doubt be a little unhappy that the boss is gone.
Unless we get some real financial backing out of this new 100 mil deal, we simply can’t afford to let him go if there is a large compensation involved. That’s my feeling anyway.
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Aquaman - March 18th, 2010 at 2:27 pm
andy
You are putting words into my mouth. I never said that Lucas was world class. I said that he wasn’t shit. Kenny may have been a great manager once, but he’s been out of the game for a long time and bringing him back would be a risk. Not that I don’t think he’s still got it.
Actually, you know what. I’ve been replying as I read your post and the more I do the more I realise that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Pay attention to who posts what in the future, because clearly you’ve got me confused with someone else.
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Aquaman - March 18th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
kutex
Wow. And I thought I was being harsh to Lawrenson. Tomkins really lays into him. Must say that he deserves it and I agree with nearly everything Tomkins said.
Glad you liked my post. I’ve always tried to be objective, so that’s the biggest compliment I can receive. Thanks.
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anonymous - March 18th, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Kutex 2.20
What an article he challenges every point in my opinion in a balanced way and has a solid argument to back his views. Urge every fan to read the article and not finding yourselt agreeing with at least some of Paul Tomkins views.
YNWA
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Mickeyfinn1983 - March 18th, 2010 at 4:20 pm
Finally a good journalist pointing out the points that some of us have been crying out for ages!
Some fans have to put their own personal wants and needs to aside for a moment, and think about THE CLUB for a minute… I defend Rafa Benitez not because i love the guy, which i don’t – respect and love are two completely different things… If i wanted to push my ideas on other people, my personal preference would be Jose Mourinho at Liverpool tomorrow, have i gone on my mad man campaign to get Jose as our manager or cry out for it? NO! Because i am a realist! We can’t afford Him and we certainly can’t afford to get in a manager who would want to change the team to suite his style… And like tomkins i criticize Benitez for many things but it’s all constructive and thought through criticism, and if someone points out X or Y and it makes sense i think about it… However, like tomkins says there are idiots out there that will neglect any form of defense of Rafa… And i believe that its not because of justified, clear minded criticism but just because they can’t stand going to the pub and seeing the Mancs enjoying a trophy or can’t handle the bragging from Arsenal fans about their”Attractive” football.
I reckon the best judges of how the team is performing is the KOP and since they are still backing Benitez, why shouldn’t the rest!
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andy - March 18th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Stop it Aquaman, Benitez is finished ! No point arguing with it ! For how long you and your Rafa’s faithfull fans wants to cling on him makes me wonder am I knew nothing about football ? The reasons I’m arguing about Rafa or his picking of Lucas and all the misplacing of players or shocking substituition is that I saw it was wrong neede to be done something coz its just simply unacceptable. The results shown that I’m right ! Sad to be arguing with some of you here but I talk things that happened, not simply telling stories or putting words to other ’s mouth. Rafa,s has failed us and to me its just UNFORGIVEN.
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anonymous - March 18th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
SACK Benitez plz ! Let Sammy Lee or King Kenny take charge ! When the funds is in place go for Mourinho or Laudrup ! No Rafa means no Lucas means no losses means the leagu title and champions league ! That’s the way it should !
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Aquaman - March 18th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Blah blah blah, andy. Blah blah blah
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