Knock on effects of ‘stunt’ could affect generations to come.
Englishman Howard Webb has been chosen to referee the World Cup final between Netherlands and Spain in Johannesburg on Sunday, Fifa has confirmed.
The 38-year-old Yorkshireman has had a good tournament so far, as have his assistants Michael Mullarkey and Darren Cann, who will join him in the final.
Webb is the first Englishman to referee the final since Jack Taylor in 1974.
He has refereed three World Cup matches in South Africa and has neither shown a red card nor awarded a penalty.
However, Webb has handed out an average of 5.67 bookings per games – the second highest tally in tournament.
Webb made his World Cup finals debut in Spain’s shock 1-0 defeat by Switzerland.
He was also in charge for Slovakia’s 3-2 victory against Italy – which saw the defending champions knocked out of the tournament – and was praised for his handling of a dramatic finale to the match.
In the last-16 stage Webb refereed Brazil’s 3-0 win over Chile, but he missed out on the quarter-finals and semi-finals.
He has been rewarded with the showpiece event in Johannesburg, though, prompting high praise from Taylor, referee for the 1974 World Cup final between West Germany and Netherlands, who said Webb had been “almost perfect” in the three games he has officiated in so far. (BBC Sport)
What this source neglected to mention are the astounding reports that have reached us that the Premier League referee is so enamoured by the repeated use of super slow motion by television directors that he will attempt to officiate Sunday’s World Cup Final by recreating the slow motion effect on the field of play.
He has been practicing this potentially tricky feat in behind closed doors training sessions and onlookers have been very impressed by the efforts of the Rotherham born referee. He has mastered the art of pulling out his cards at a shockingly slow speed and can also do so with a fixed grin on his face.
When asked whether he was concerned that this individual decision to test the limits of his own physical and mental state would effect the two teams involved he merely stated “I do not care about the players, I am conducting a social experiment that will go down in history”. This response itself was given in a super slow motion manner that took 22 minutes to complete.
However Confusion could reign supreme if TV directors do indeed turn to the use of their own super slow motion replays as if they do use this function at the exact moment that Howard Webb decides to slow himself down then scientists are concerned that the world may actually cease to spin on its axis rendering all humans on planet Earth dead due to the part time Policeman’s unbalancing of the space/time continuum.
Still Mr. Webb is unrepentant and when faced with this potential life threatening domino effect following his actions, he once again merely smiles and shapes up for another lengthy pause before replying….