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Octopus Paul , better known as the so-called octopus oracle sites on a soccer ball in his aquarium at the Sea Life Aquarium in the western German city of Oberhausen July 9, 2010. The octopus has became a media star after correctly picking all six German World Cup results including their first-round defeat against Serbia and their semi-final defeat against Spain. On Friday Paul predicted Spain's World Cup victory over The Netherlands and Germany's victory in their third place match against Uruguay. REUTERS/Wolfgang Rattay (GERMANY - Tags: SPORT SOCCER WORLD CUP ANIMALS SOCIETY)

THE mother of Cristiano Ronaldo’s baby is a penniless American waitress who the football star seduced with the line: “Me, you, f*** f***.”
But his chat-up line was so blunt, she didn’t understand it. So Ronaldo resorted to drawing a love heart on a misted-up window and said: “Me, you, kiss!”
Then he whisked her back to his hotel for a one-night stand which left the girl pregnant – and Ronaldo with a £10million paternity bill.
Ronaldo has told friends he won’t tell the boy the identity of his mother until his 18th birthday.
Last summer, on a trip to Los Angeles that would see him hooking up with Paris Hilton, Ronaldo strutted into a restaurant and spotted the future mother of his son. (Daily Mirror)

And we can exclusively reveal that the waitress in question was in fact none other than Oberhausen Sea World resident, Paul The Octopus. In a dramatic twist that no one saw coming, Paul (who is actually a female octopus) was down on her luck at the time and was waiting tables in a Los Angeles bar and was so besotted by the advances of the Real Madrid star that she felt powerless against his charming demeanour. The rest is history.

Shortly after their chance meeting she fled the restaurant and returned to the sea and found herself some time later in the German Aquarium and has now become a celebrity in her own right as a psychic predictor of World Cup results. Oddly enough she could never have guessed that her life would turn upside down quite so quickly.

Asked what she planned to do with her £10m windfall, Paul just shrugged and stated that she planned on the putting the whole lot on a win double in the opening weekend of the Premier League, but refused to reveal on which teams she plans on placing her fortune. She also stated with absolute certainty that Take That will secure the Xmas Number One Spot!

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