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Top Ten Truly Strange Football Injuries

by Adam Davies

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You’ll never feel stupid for falling up the stairs again.

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10. Ronaldo. Brazilian great Ronaldo had just made his debut for Corinthians in 2009. As a three-time winner of the FIFA World Player Of The Year Award, media interest was naturally quite high. Still, they may have been a bit too enthusiastic. Ronaldo received a black eye after being struck by a microphone when a post-match media scrum surrounded him. Let’s just remember one of his better moments: his goal for FC Barcelona against Compostela.

9. Svein Grondalen. He might not be a famous name today, but the way Grondalen sustained his injury is one of the more bizarre out there – and certainly worth including in this list. Out for a training run ahead of a World Cup Qualifier, the Norwegian right back headed out into the woods, and promptly collided with a moose. He was unable to take part for Norway.

circa 1950:  A moose in Lake Vermillion in Banff, Alberta.  (Photo by Three Lions/Getty Images)

8.Santiago Canizares. Former Valencia and Spain goalkeeper Canizares was forced to miss the 2002 FIFA World Cup after dropping a bottle of aftershave into his hotel sink. A piece of glass ricocheted straight downwards and severed the ligament in his big toe. At least he wasn’t such a butterfingers in goal, eh?

7. David Batty. The hard tackling midfielder was resting with an ankle ligament injury when he suffered a setback in his recovery. His daughter ran him over with her tricycle. She was two. It’s difficult not to feel sorry for the man – especially when you watch this again. Still tense as hell, even when you know the outcome.

6. Rio Ferdinand. Whilst at Leeds United, the England Captain was sat at home playing Pro Evolution Soccer for hours. He rested his feet on the coffee table the whole time. He needed a rest. He had spent much of the morning thinking of ways to merk people. Unfortunately, this period of inactivity left him with a tendon strain in his knee.

5. Liam Lawrence. The Stoke midfielder needed the bathroom late at night, and so wandered bleary eyed down the hall. He had been having the most wonderful dream, and couldn’t stop thinking about swimming in his strawberry milkshake lake. Or was it banana? Anyway, he forgot he had a dog. He tripped over his pet and fell down the stairs.

Football - Stoke City v Blackburn Rovers Barclays Premier League - The Britannia Stadium - 18/4/09..Stoke's Liam Lawrence Photo via Newscom

4. Mart Poom. The Estonian goalkeeper was playing for Derby against an Iron Maiden XI in 2000. He collided with one of the heavy metal legends, and managed to both concuss himself and sustain an injury to his genitals. Probably best if we don’t go into detail about that one. He did score a quite magnificent header for Sunderland against his old club though.

3. Darren Barnard. In 1996, the Barnsley player slipped in a puddle of his puppy’s urine on the kitchen floor. He damaged his cruciate ligament in his knee, and was out of action for six months. This quite strange animation will explain all.

2. David Beasant. The well-travelled goalkeeper managed to drop some salad cream at his house, which would not normally have caused any damage. However, Beasant had his hands full, presumably concocting some sort of culinary masterpiece. My money is on a Waldorf. Because his hands were occupied elsewhere, he elected to try to catch the salad cream with his foot. Like Canizares, he severed the tendon on his big toe, and was out of action for eight weeks.

1. Kirk Broadfoot. Everyone knows that eggs are far less delicious from the microwave, but sometimes you’re in a rush. It’s the only thing you can do when you get that egg craving – but you just. can’t. wait. Kirk Broadfoot just couldn’t stop thinking about eggs on May 14th 2009. He opted for the microwave.

It was a schoolboy error of the highest degree. Eighty or so seconds later (depending on the wattage of Broadfoot’s microwave), he opened the door and they exploded in his face. He got facial burns, and “Egg on face.. literally” headlines of course followed. I imagine the embarrassment was worse than the physical pain.

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