A hearty 5 course dinner of transfer twaddle, piping hot, and ready for your consumption…

Manchester City’s – formerly porky, now svelte – Irish defender Richard Dunne could buy out the last 12 months of his contract, leave Eastlands and skip over to St James’ Park in the summer. (Mirror)
…But while the Toon Army may welcome Dunne in the summer, Charles N’Zogbia is getting miffed with life at struggling Newcastle, and new gaffer Kevin Keegan will have to turn on the charm to keep him at St James’ Park. (The Times)

Chelsea’s Ivorian striker Didier Drogba has his heart set on a move to Barcelona, and could join the Catalan giants for a whopping £25m in the summer. (Star)
…While Chelsea’s full back Wayne Bridge has warned that if he isn’t selected in the team for the Carling Cup final against Spurs, he will look to move somewhere else. (Daily Mail)
…And a Norwegian court investigation into the murky John Obi Mikel three way transfer scramble has revealed that the Nigerian was in love with the idea of playing for Man Utd, and he wept when he realized his dream might fall through. (Various)
…Frank Lampard could also be waddling towards the Stamford Bridge exit door as Juventus have started sniffing around the porcine midfielder. (Guardian)

Liverpool are circling Nigerian attacker Peter Odemwingie, Tashkent’s finest son (he’s half Russian) is currently plying his trade with Lokomotiv Moscow. (Daily Mail)
…And Fulham are having a hearty sniff around Liverpool legend Sami Hyypia, and may make a move to the Finnish legend. (Mirror)

Derby striker Kenny Miller has put the veritable cat amongst the pigeons by refusing to rule out a move to Rangers. (The Times)

Aston Villa keeper Thomas Sorensen could be shipped off to Barnsley, the emergency loan should be completed in time for the goalie to play for Barnsley against Liverpool in the FA Cup. (The Times)
…While West Brom want to bag Aston Villa’s Luke Moore on a loan deal, and Villa will probably let him go. (Various)

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Part 2 of our round-up…

Arsenal gaffer Arsene Wenger is pondering a bid for Raffaele Palladino, and may make a move for the Juventus midfielder in the summer. (Star)

Chelsea boss Avram Grant will make a move for Palermo’s Brazilian striker Amauri at the end of the season. (Sunday Mirror)

Liverpool captain Stevie Gerrard reckons that ex-gaffer Gerard Houllier made a huge mistake in letting Nic Anelka leave the club. (News of the World)

Wigan chief Steve Bruce has sanctioned the sale of midfield gem Jason Koumas to Celtic. (News of the World)

Ex-Newcastle boss Sam Allardyce will be offered the Wolves hotseat if current incumbent Mick McCarthy fails to win promotion. (People)

Sunderland striker Kenwyne Jones has a relegation release clause in his contract, which could see him heading for pastures new if the Black Cats are relegated. (Sunday Mirror)

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The Daily Mail speculates that Chelsea star Frank Lampard could leave Stamford Bridge this summer for as little as £5 million should he and his potential suitors FC Barcelona decide to exploit a new transfer law formulated by the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

According to this new law, a player can leave his club should he pay them the remainder of his contract. This rule has led to speculation on many players leaving their clubs, including Spurs’ Dimitar Berbatov. And now the arrow has been directed towards Chelsea.

Lampard has just one more year to his contract after the end of this season and has also reportedly turned down a new offer by Chelsea. Lampard’s wife Elen is a Catalan and hails from Barcelona and Lampard may be seduced to pack his bags for sunny Spain and Barcelona both for sporting reasons and familial matters.

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The Times is giving us both barrells of journalistic integrity with journos Matt Hughes and Russell Kempson who are telling us that Chelsea are planning to nab Dynamo Zagreb’s Luka Modric in the summer, and they think that they can bag him for less than half of the quoted £20 million asking price.

Apparently the Webster ruling:

“which enables players under the age of 28 to buy their way out of the remainder of their contracts when they enter their fourth year.”

is the reason that the Stamford Bridge club think they’ll be able to get Modric at a cut price, and that:

“Modric will be able to buy himself out of his contract for as little as £1.5 million during next January’s transfer window, giving Zagreb little option but to cash in or risk losing as much as £10 million this summer.”

So will Modric become yet another jewel in the Chelsea crown?

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Sneaky journo’s have spied Chelsea’s currently injured midfielder Frank Lampard having a look for a new house, in Barcelona of all places! ‘Cor, that’ll be one hell of a long commute to London! (Daily Mail)
…Meanwhile, Chelsea’s star striker Didier Drogba continues to oscillate between a disgruntled and a gruntled state. The Ivorian has now come out and pledged undying loyalty to Chelsea, poo-pooing talk of a move to Real Madrid or Ac Milan. (Daily Mirror)

And Rangers captain Barry Ferguson will soon sign a contract extension that will keep him at the club for the remainder of his career. (The Sun)

Arsenal midfielder Alexander Hleb is going to resist the lure of Barcelona and stay at Ashburton Grove. (The Sun)

Manchester United have been dialing every number in the phone book hawking out-of-favour cripplemeister Louis Saha to anyone that’ll take him. (Daily Mail)
…Talking of out-of-favour strikers, Ipswich want to bag one time England prospect David Nugent on loan. (Various)

Newcastle winger Charles N’Zogbia is becoming more and more unsettled by the day and Spurs and Arsenal will both offer him a summer lifeline. (Daily Mail)
…While Newcastle’s Mickey Owen, might be forced to start on the bench for England’s friendly game against Switzerland. (Various)

The major reason for the rushed and semi-botched transfer deadline move of Benjani from Portsmouth to Manchester City was because Benjani dozed off at the airport and missed two flights. (The Times)

West Ham are going to go to court with (possible) evil slave driver Kia Joorabchian in a wrangle over money and fees during Carlos Tevez’s time with the Hammers. (Telegraph)

Middlesbrough, desperate to hang on to at least some of their better players, will double the dosh in defender David Wheater’s pay packet in order to stop Liverpool from sniffing around the player. (Various)

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Birmingham boss Alex McLeish will start some contract banter with Tunisian midfielder Mehdi Nafti upon his return from the Africa Cup of Nations. (Daily Star)

Tottenham Hotspur have one fewer option in defence after Gareth Bale was ruled out for the rest of the season. The Welshman was expected to return this month,but he has been advised that if he plays this season his foot injury could get even worse. (Times)

Former Lens coach Guy Roux has criticised the sheer lunacy of Rangers and Fulham and their attempts to shunt through the £3m Daniel Cousin transfer, calling both clubs “stupid” for thinking that FIFA will ignore the fact that Cousin has already played for two clubs this season. (BBC)

Portsmouth and Man City have squirmed, contorted, and limbo danced around regulation to ensure that Zimbabwe striker Benjani’s transfer from Pompey to Manchester City goes through. (Various)

Chelsea have been having a look at the Africa Cup of Nations and have taken a shine to IK Start’s Ghana international midfielder Anthony Annan. (Daily Mirror)

…While Chelsea striker Didier Drogba doesn’t want to be considered for any future African player of the year awards after it was revealed that Fredi Kanoute only won the 2007 title because Drogba refused to travel to Togo to collect the award. (Various)

Liverpool midfielder Javier Mascherano reckons that he will tie up a permanent deal this week, releasing him from his slavemasters at MSI, and taking the Argentine to Anfield. (Various)

Blackburn Rovers goalie Brad Friedel has put pen to paper on a one-year extension to his current contract, which will see him between the Ewood Park sticks until 2010. (BBC)

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  Read more Transfer rumours gossip on the Transfer rumours section. 

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The Daily Mail reports that the Benjani situation has just got even more confusing after Man City pulled out because a medical highlighted some dodgy knee problems for the Zimbabwean striker. On top of all that guff, there are whispers that Benjani doesn’t even want to move, which may see the lawyers rolling in, to try and make sense of the spaghetti junction of red tape and try and sort out Benjani’s future. Mail journo Neil Ashton writes:

“Although League officials confirmed on Friday that the correct documentation arrived from both clubs, their lawyers are sifting through a legal minefield after City refused to go through with the deal.

“City boss Sven Goran Eriksson maintains he wants to sign the Pompey striker but City officials are not convinced the player wants to move.

“Benjani missed the 3.15pm flight from Eastleigh and then, to City’s consternation, the next plane that left at 5pm.

“The following flight to Manchester was cancelled before Benjani arrived on the delayed 8.50, reaching the Carrington complex at 11.10pm for a short, unsatisfactory medical.”

All this opens up the possibility that Benjani might remain a Portsmouth player, something that manager Redknapp isn’t too chuffed about, Redknapp said:

“The worst case scenario is we get Benjani back, but £9m for someone who is nearly 30 is good money. The two deals were tied in. I wouldn’t have got Defoe if I didn’t think Benjani was going.

“I was sitting in the office when Peter Storrie (chief executive) got a call from City and said ‘yes, it’s done’. He was told the forms were being faxed through and the deal was done.

“Peter got our forms faxed off for Defoe with a minute to spare. Then we had a phone call at about 12.30am to say Benjani’s forms hadn’t gone through.

“He’s still in Manchester. He was late getting there and that caused a problem. He knew the night before but he took a long time arriving. We were reluctant to lose him but I still think the deal will go through.”

So the lawyers look like they will be in a complicated battle, and in the meantime Benjani will be twiddling his thumbs, unsure about which team he’ll be playing for and feeling unwanted by both clubs.

Despite Everton manager David Moyes’ declarations that he didn’t expect to have a busy transfer deadline day, the Toffees actually had quite a lot of transfer activity, moving two players out and bringing one in on loan.
Veteran defender Alan Stubbs was shipped off to Derby County, Brazilian midfielder Anderson made a permanent switch to Barnsley, whilst Tottenham defender Anthony Gardner was brought in to Goodison on loan.
Derby boss Paul Jewell seemed over the moon with the acquisition of Stubbs, saying:

“It’s a terrific capture for us.

“Stubbsy is a first-class pro, someone who has been there, seen it and done it.

“I’m delighted to have him on board and he will add experience and steel to the backline.

“He will train with us on Friday and is very much in contention for a place in the team on Saturday.”

So has the last minute wheeling and dealing by Moyes left Everton in a stronger position?

Tottenham boss Juande Ramos is trying to slide under the closing transfer window with Sevilla winger Diego Capel. (Mirror)

Arsenal striker Theo Walcott doesn’t want to be fobbed off with a loan deal and is going to stay and fight like a man for his place in the team. (Mirror)

Portsmouth gaffer Harry Redknapp is so desperate to get his hands on Real Mallorca winger Jonas Gutierrez that he is set to offer £5m and Lauren in order to bag his man. (Various)
…And if Benjani does a runner to Man City then Harry Redknapp will try and lure Jermain Defoe to Pompey. (Times)

Middlesbrough, frankly desperate for someone who can stick the ball in the back of the net, are trying to bag Inter Milan forward Goran Slavkovski on loan. (Times)

Aston Villa are Interested in taking Spurs midfielder Kevin-Prince Boateng to Villa Park to rescue the German from his tepid Spurs career. (Times)

Both Norwich and Coventry are scrambling to secure the signature of Birmingham defender Martin Taylor. (Times)

Newcastle gaffer Kevin Keegan’s move for Levante’s Brazilian defender Alvaro has run aground. (Times)

Fulham boss Roy Hodgson reckons that if he ignores the fact that FIFA have blocked his deal for Rangers striker Daniel Cousin, he’ll be able to sign him anyway. (Mirror)

Charlton will only cough up Andy Reid if Sunderland give them Greg Halford and are ready to test Sunderland’s resolve by asking for cash plus Greg Halford in exchange for Andy Reid. (Star)

Everton’s ginger supremo David Moyes remains confident that Joleon Lescott will sign a new Everton deal despite being linked in the ‘mee-ja’ with a move to Arsenal or Manchester United. (Various)

Birmingham boss Alex McLeish has managed to nab Aston Villa defender Gary Cahill , beating Boltonto his signature. (Daily Mirror)

…And Bolton could drown their sorrows at missing out on Gary Cahill by stepping up their interest in Real Betis’ Croatian defender Marko Babic; upping their original £2.2m offer. (Daily Mirror)

Aston Villa boss Martin O’Neill is desperate to bag Spurs’ recalcitrant full back Pascal Chimbonda before the transfer window slams shut. (Various)

…And Villa boss Martin O’Neill is also after a grab bag of last minute signings including Leicester full back Richard Stearman and Crystal Palace striker Sean Scannell. (Daily Mirror)

Sunderland boss Roy Keane is ready swoop for Charlton midfielder Andy Reid, in a player (Greg Halford) plus cash (£2.5m) deal. (Various)

Middlesbrough Chairman Steve Gibson has slammed Stewart Downing’s agent for his Machiavellian scheming. Gibson – contrary to what agent Elliott thinks – claims that he has offered the winger a sparkling new contract. (Daily Mail)

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The Lord of The Ferg is disgusted with the state of the Old Trafford pitch and has demanded that it be re-turfed, before it adversely affects United’s title bid. (The Sun)

Derby have snubbed Newcastle who have come blustering in with a less than satisfactory opening offer for winger Giles Barnes. (Daily Telegraph)
…And Newcastle also want FC Brno’s Czech midfielder Luboš Kalouda and are locked in a battle with Juventus for his signature. (Times)

Newcastle are after Levante’s Brazilian defender Alvaro to shore up his weeping sore of a defence, but will have to beat off stong interest from Birmingham. (Various)

Manchester City boss Sven Goran Eriksson is after Portsmouth’s Zimbabwean striker Benjani Mwaruwari and is prepared to shower Harry Redknapp with £5m if he lets his star striker leave. (Daily Mail)

…And Harry Redknapp may sanction the sale of Benjani Mwaruwari if he manages to get his paws on Real Mallorca’s Argentinian striker Jonas Gutierrez, a player who seems to think it is ‘cool’ to throw a Spiderman mask on everytime he scores. (Various)

Man City’s Sven ‘Svengali’ Eriksson is plotting a raid on Valencia for Miguel Angel Angulo. (Daily Mail)

…And Eriksson is ready to ship off out of favour midfielder Ousmane Dabo to Siena on loan. (Various)

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A second slice of transfer cake…

Blackburn are trailing midfielder Claudio Maldonado, and the Chile captain, who currently plays for Brazilian side Santos, will jet in to Lancashire for a chin-wag over a £1m transfer. (Daily Mirror)

Rangers boss Walter Smith thinks that swapping Derby keeper Lewis Price with Roy Carroll is a good idea. (Daily Mirror)

Manchester United defender Patrice Evra has demanded a whopping £120,000 a week contract which could present a roadblock to any contract negotiations. (Daily Mirror)

Middlesbrough winger Stewart Downing is not interested in staying at the Riverside, and if manager Gareth Southgate doesn’t sell him he will simply see out his contract. (The Sun)
…However it isn’t all bad news at Middlesbrough – Gareth Southgate reckons Brazilian striker Afonso Alves’ signing is imminent. (Various)
…And Gareth Southgate has also head a good sniff around Motherwell forward Ross McCormack and could pounce soon. (Sky Sports)

Ex-Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho is ready to return from the wilderness and take on a management job with Valencia. (The Sun)

Celtic are the latest club to express an interest in signing Manchester City’s Greek striker Georgios Samaras, and the Parkhead outfit want a loan deal. (The Guardian)

Fulham boss Roy Hodgson has cancelled any interest in snagging West Brom defender Neil Clement. (Daily Star)

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Part one of todays bulging and mewing burlap sack of rumours…

Liverpool full back John Arne Riise has claimed (via his agent) that he isn’t about to jump the Anfield ship and scuttle over to Newcastle. (Various)

…Meanwhile on the other side of Stanley Park, David Moyes is confident that star defender and goal machine Joleon Lescott will turn his nose up at reported interest from Arsenal and Manchester United and sign a contract extension with the Goodison outfit. (The Sun)

Manchester City boss Sven Goran Eriksson is getting all hot and bothered over CSKA Moscow’s Brazilian triumvirate Vagner Love, Jo Alves and Daniel Carvalho and wants to bring all three to the Eastlands. (Various)

Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger is monitoring 21-year-old Wolfsburg striker Edin Dzeko and is pondering a move. (Various)

The seemingly never-ending questions over defender Gery Cahill and his Aston Villa future could be (finally) coming to an end, with Bolton agreeing a fee and Sunderland and Birmingham also showing an interest. (Various)

Spanish team Murcia are after Portsmouth’s bumper-sized midfielder Papa Bouba Diop. (Daily Mirror)

Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan is to snap up a very Keegan-ish player, he will splurge £2m for Derby winger and all round bloody good prospect Giles Barnes. (Daily Mirror)
…However, King Kev has now ruled himself out of the running for Spurs defender Pascal Chimbonda. (Various)

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Eddie Johnson, a 23-year old striker for Major League Soccer’s Kansas City Wizards, is close to signing with relegation-threatened Fulham. Johnson left the U.S. national team’s training camp yesterday, which raised speculation that a move might be imminent, reports the Daily Mail. Johnson had previously been linked with Derby.

If Cottagers do sign the American, it would increase their Yank contingent to five players (the others are Brian McBride, Clint Dempsey, Carlos Bocanegra and Kasey Keller), which is half the number of U.S. nationals plying their trade in the Premiership. Johnson has done well in MLS; last season he scored 15 goals in 24 games. He has also scored 11 times in 31 appearances for the national team. Whether this success translates in the Premiership is another question entirely as U.S. defenders are notoriously inefficient. Surely Mohamed Al-Fayed’s money could be spent better elsewhere?