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Boggs: Fat Sam blames FIFA for his poor planning

Boggs‘ hatred for all things Allardyce comes to the forefront again as he delivers a spinning roundhouse kick to the Bolton boss for his latest comments:

I know this is starting to seem like some sort of vendetta against Big Sam, but that’s only because it is.

He’s already claimed he invented 4-5-1, that he was fit to manage both Real Madrid and England and that teams fear playing nowhere more than the Reebok, and his ridiculous earpiece is from the fecking 1980’s (ever heard of Bluetooth?).

You see, Bolton could lose up to five players for January’s African Nations Cup and apparently Fat Sam is a tad upset,

“I can’t understand why a FIFA-recognised tournament, which will mean five of my players will be away, doesn’t allow us to call a Premiership game off” Fat Sam told the Star.

“It would be a severe blow if we turned around at the end of January and pointed to that as a reason why our season has faltered.”

Oh I’m sorry, are you upset at FIFA for conducting a tournament that’s been around since 1957? Is it their fault that your self-professed legendary managerial skills failed to take the competition into account when you decided to base your team around Africans?

No! You knew about the tournament (well, maybe not given your other delusions), and you knew that you were buying Africans who would play in said tournament. Who’s fault is that? YOURS DAMNIT.

Not only that but and plenty of other teams in the Premiership (Chelsea, Tottenham…uh…West Brom…Portsmouth?) and across Europe are affected as well yet suddenly it’s a farce when the mighty Bolton is involved, and only they are deserving of having their matches called off?

I say it every time but I feel it’s necessary, Allardyce has done an amazing job at Bolton. I just also happen to despise him with every fibre in my body and would love to engage him in hand to hand combat.

Does Boggs know his arse from his elbow? Let us know in the comments section or send an official rebuttal to submissions@caughtoffside.com and we’ll put it up on the page!