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News of the World has come out with a rather graphic story about bisexual footballers getting involved in orgies and sticking mobile phones in each other’s bottoms.

You know, the usual night out.

Anyway, it’s all very sad that footballers can not be openly gay for fear of hearing thousands of people take the piss every weekend – but the nature of the story is still a rather entertaining read.

An excerpt:

ON me bed, Sony! The News of the World today reveals how two bisexual Premiership stars made some VERY dirty phone calls—using a mobile as a gay sex toy.

The players—one capped several times for England— were caught on camera cavorting with a pal well known in the music industry in a homosexual orgy that will shock soccer.

The three men—who cannot be identified for legal reasons—are pictured wearing just vests and boxer shorts as they tackle each other in ways fans never expected.

NOTW: “Gay As You Go”

From the sounds of the story, it seems that top clubs could well be involved with a ‘multi million pound goalscoring midfielder’ named as one of the players involved, and a ‘household name with a reputation as a bad boy on and off the pitch’ as the other.

We certainly wouldn’t hazard a guess at who it could be, for fear of libel law suits. But we did feel this would be a good time to remind everyone about how easy it is to use our comments section.