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What shape do things go after pear?

Boggs does a jig in front of a crowd of Asian tourists to celebrate another nail in the coffin.

As if the staggering decline of Sol Campbell, Robert Pires and Freddie Ljunberg weren’t enough…oh, and the imminent loss of Thierry Henry…and probably Ashley Cole as he tries to find a country who won’t judge those who enjoy the odd phone in the anus*. Anyway, as if all that wasn’t enough it seems their most talented young player is hardly devoted to the London club.

Cesc “Ridiculous Eyebrows” Fabregas was the subject of some good ‘ol fashioned Real Madrid unsettling last week, with stand-in president Fernando Martin publicly announcing that signing the talented youngster was his first priority as tries to revamp a struggling squad.

In an ideal world, the young man would have come out and said he was happy at Arsenal with no intentions of moving – if not just for the sake of diplomacy and respect to his current club, manager and fans. But these are not ideal times for Gunners supporters (shame), and they got these heartening words instead (I’ve highlighted my favourite bits),

It’s a source of pride and happiness for me that a team like Real Madrid are interested in me,” Fabregas told Marca.

“I know that a lot of people are talking about it but no one has approached me. However, it’s always nice that people talk about you in this way.”

‘It (returning to Spain) is something I’ve always had in my head because although I’m happy here (in England) it isn’t my country and you always miss your own one.

‘I don’t know what will happen, but if it doesn’t happen next season it will happen in another because I want to play in the Spanish league one day.’

Apparently he then wrote “FOR SALE” on his chest in a viscous white substance and danced naked in front of Madrid headquarters. Amazing that it was a few seasons ago that Arsenal were the ‘Invincibles’, Wenger and his players couldn’t put a foot wrong and the club was ready to upset the balance of world football as they moved into their new 60,000 stadium.

Pineapple-shaped, that’s what I’m going with.

It’s all gone pineapple-shaped. Shame.

*allegedly… “Allegedly.”