Sven Finally Finds a Buyer

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After whoring his post-England services to anyone who would listen, including the shame of Sheikgate, it seems that Sven has finally found a wealthy club willing to provide him the kind of superstars he has become an expert at getting mediocrity out of these past few years.

Arturo Baldasano, a candidate for the Real Madrid presidency, has made use of the age-old Spanish club election tradition of promising to sign someone important (or at least famous) in an attempt to garner votes.

‘My team have spoken with Eriksson and he has given a commitment that if I win the election he will come and coach the team,’ Baldasano told Spain’s Radio Marca on Tuesday.

The problem is, does promising to hire Eriksson actually constitute a reason to elect him? The Swede has faired much better during his career on the club level than for England, but a failure to win the World Cup this summer will result in a nation blaming him for ruining arguably their most talented generation of footballers ever. Truly an achievement for which he should be rewarded with one of the game’s highest profile jobs.

Football players tend to get a bit of stick for earning incredible wages for playing a game, especially as a fair number clearly can’t be assed to do much more than turn up on match day. But surely Sven’s career is one to be marvelled at since he was appointed England coach. Earning millions of pounds a year to watch a few footy matches a season, decide on squads of players and tactics a child could have put together, score a cameo role in Goal! The Dream Begins, shag a few co-workers and then bugger off to manage Real Madrid afterwards.

Hats off to Sven, the Winston Bogarde of managers.