Blatter Don’t Need No Stinkin Friends

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Sepp “Balmy” Blatter is at it again, although this time his new idea is actually pretty reasonable – just extremely unpopular with every club in the known universe.

The crazy FIFA president said that all of Europe’s leagues should be cut down to 18 teams for the 2007-2008 season, citing a few reasons including a shorter league season that would allow more time spent preparing for international matches and tournaments. Something that benefits FIFA nicely, but is not quite as popular with the clubs who would be losing money as a result.

Premier league spokesman Dan Johnson told Blatter to shove it,

‘The only people who are going to tell us how to run the Premier League are the league’s 20 member clubs’ chairmen.

‘They are the only ones who can change the composition of the league and they are just not going to go for this – no way.’

‘There is no appetite for this kind of change in the make-up of our league,’ he said.

But Blatter refused to be told no by anyone, even though he’s always wrong and no one ever listens to him,

‘Yes, now we have the power to do this after the support today from Congress,’ he blathered. ‘We have been given the power now to work on it.’

And to cap it off, Seppsy proudly expressed a distinct lack of knowledge or insight about how a football club works,

‘We will do it. I think the clubs will be happy and it will give four more days to the international calendar in those countries where they have 20 clubs.’

We think it’s high time this man’s antics inspired some modern slang, so we’ll give it a shot:

Blatter’d: To be asked/told to do something completely idiotic, so idiotic that it doesn’t deserve an answer – merely public mockery and possibly a “What the **** are you on about?”.