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Keano Packs It In

The man, the myth and the legend has finally retired with a mere whimper compared to his explosive behaviour on and off the pitch.

Former Manchester United captain Roy Keane decided to call it quits today, ending his brief spell with boyhood club Celtic due to recurring injury problems. He didn’t even call anyone a ****. He just rode off quietly into the sunset in what we can only assume was a car worth more than all of us put together, even if we sold our families to slavery.

But as the World Cup continues to consume us all, let’s take a moment to reflect on a fine, trophy-filled career with Manchester United and even finer list of expletive-filled tirades on everything from teamates to the state of today’s youth.