Would You Want Beckham?

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As Newcastle attempt to bolster season ticket sales by acting all cloak-and-dagger about their rumored move for David Beckham after Barcodes chairman Freddy Shepard was photographed leaving a London hotel at the same time as Victoria, or “Posh” as we call her at birthday parties. A move wouldn’t actually be surprising as there is an existing relationship between the two clubs, Real paid Newcastle more than 10 million pounds for no reason a couple of years ago, and then Newcastle gave the money back just for fun last season.

But as the former England captain’s career starts, or continues, to burn out he’s been linked with both a return to the Premiership and a holiday in the MLS. Though there is no reason to suggest Beckham would want to leave a Real Madrid, for a man so obsessed with his career and ‘brand’ a move to almost any other club would represent a step down in exposure. Being forced out of Real remains highly unlikely under Ramon Calderon.

In purely footballing terms, would Beckham fit in nicely to any Premiership club? Assuming top to bottom had a chance, Becks is quite big on charity work after all, is anyone predicting a dire enough season that the odd goal from a set piece and cringe-inducing post-match interviews would represent value for money?

Or maybe a few million pounds in replica kits and a couple of homoerotic photoshoots are enough.