Who will sign a discount Serie A superstar this summer?

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If the details of what’s going on in Serie A needs to be explained to you, then you probably accidentally stumbled upon this site while looking for horse-related pornography (don’t ask).

Although everyone is expecting a mass fire sale for the ages, the reality is that the same rich bastards with dodgy mafia connections who were responsible for the corruption will probably make sure that at least a few of their first teamers stay put for a season at least.

The hardest hit was Juventus, relegated AND docked 30 points? It will take a miracle of a season for them to come back up and it’s from the Old Lady that the rest of Europe will probably have the most success finding some new talent.

Many of those players may actually find themselves in the Premiership. The only other destination is Spain, and there are only so many spaces to fill at Real, Valencia and Barcelona. Plenty of England’s all have squad needs remaining and cash to burn.

Manchester United could find the midfield reinforcements they’ve been dying for and either Luca Toni or Ibrahimovic would make a nice Ruud replacement, Liverpool have been busy but are yet to make a glamour signing, Arsenal will probably raid the youth teams for another Cesc or maybe take Patrick Vieira back, Tottenham are always on the look out while Portsmouth are still trying to find someone, anyone, to take their money.

Ironically, only Chelsea seem to have completed their major signings – it will be interesting to see whether Mourinho sticks to his 2-players-for-each-position rule now that the free for all has started.

An incredibly boring transfer window is about to get a hell of a lot more exciting.