Worst player at the club?

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The positive things in football are generally the most boring – no interesting conversation ever stemmed from ‘That Thierry Henry is a good player’. So while everyone this summer is fixated on new transfers and signing that elusive ‘big name’, we’d like to shift gears a bit.

For no apparent reason, there are a lot of Premiership players out there who are utter toss. Players who could drive us all to suicide were we ever to fully comprehend the lifestyle and luxury they enjoy despite providing no discernable benefit to their clubs. The reasons for their crapness are varied; some are fat, some have the famous ‘touch of a rapist’ while others appear to have earned their place in the starting eleven by way of a Shoot caption competition.

Regardless, while there are only 30 days to bring in new signings there are also 30 days left to rid ourselves of certain donkeys who inconceivably continue to plague our pitches each season.

So, who at your club would you have forcefully removed and beaten, and why?