Kewell Contracts Deadly Andertonitis

Some may want to sit down for this.

“On his return to Liverpool following the World Cup, Harry was actually diagnosed as having Septic Arthritis — a bacterial infection in the joints of his left foot.” said Ian Cotton, some bloke who works at Liverpool.

But despite what “medical doctors” are telling the press, Harry Kewell’s latest injury is not Septic Arthritis of the foot bones – it’s a case of deadly Andertonitis.

The disease was coined after former Tottenham midfielder/winger Darren Anderton, who displayed fine talent that was gradually worn away by injury after injury. But what makes Andertonitis unique is that, like Anderton, it inexplicably gets better right around a major international tournament.

Kewell displayed the primary symptoms when, after being dismissed as a waste of money by Liverpool supporters after barely featuring for the club, he suddenly regained fitness and superb form for the season leading into the World Cup – only to return injured again right after it was over.

It’s tragic to see another footballer struck down with a condition that will likely lead to him having to sit at home watching television while pocketing thousands of pounds each week.