Despite a well documented history of violence and assault, with photographic and video evidence aplenty, the Greater Manchester Police have decided not to pursue criminal charges against Ben “The Axe Murderer” Thatcher.
In a statement the coppers revealed that, for some reason, Pedro Mendes’ desire to let the affair be handled by the FA factored into their decision,
“Officers from GMP have spoken to the relevant parties involved in an incident during the Manchester City versus Portsmouth match on August 23,” read the statement.
“In consultation with the injured player, the clubs and The Football Association, GMP have been informed the player would like to pursue a complaint and have asked for it to be dealt with by The FA, not the police.
“In light of this, GMP will not be investigating the incident further and consider the matter to be closed.”
Now we understand that generally someone has to press charges in order for someone else to be prosecuted, but if some bloke was running around stabbing people with in the face with AIDS-infused pencils surely the police would do something about it without being asked?
Regardless, we look forward to Ben’s return to football – not the least the next gruesome act of the “Manchester City Strangler”.