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Time To Sign Collymore!

Our of nowhere, ex-Aston Villa and Liverpool striker Stan Collymore has announced his intent to return to the Premiership. Hooray!

‘I’ve had physical tests and I’m confident I will come back faster, stronger and fitter than I ever was,’ Collymore told the Daily Mirror.

‘A month from today I guarantee I will be able to stand side by side with any striker in the country and my physique will be up there with any of them.

‘This time I’m not going to self-destruct. You are not going to see headlines about me being kicked out of a bar somewhere in the early hours rolling drunk.’

‘I know I can still be among the best.’

While such statements won’t do anything to defuse rumors about his psychological stability, Collymore was a favourite amongst a few COS staff back in his prime after a spectacular debut for Liverpool and his part in the famous 4-3 against Newcastle, and he’s been muttering about making a comeback for ages.

No doubt Sam Allardyce will be barging through his door any day now banging on about how many other footballers have rejuvenated themselves at Bolton, but one wonders if there are any other Premiership clubs or supporters out there who would welcome him home?

In case you’ve forgotten who he is, a little flashback:

 



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