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Wenger vs. Ferguson: A Six Point Plan

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The subject is close to being beaten to death but, this time, Everton supporter and COS reader Keith steps unto the breach with a scientific process to help the Arsenal and Manchester United lads decide whose Dad could beat up whose.

Move aside and let a neutral have a look, using all the attributes that a top-class manager needs.

PLAYER MANAGEMENT Fergie has shown little or no control over his players either on or off the pitch. Witness the despicable, angry mob reactions to refs decisions and their attempts to intimidate them into decisions. Witness Rio’s non-appearance for drug test; Rooney’s public set-tos. Wenger too has had his problems with far too many red cards and many off-pitch wrong-doings.
RESULT – A DRAW.

MEDIA RELATIONSHIP Fergie spat his dummy at the BBC over them having the temerity to question his son’s dodgy dealings as an agent. When United lose he often doesn’t have the bottle to face questions. Wenger so far has always been available for post-match interviews.
RESULT – WENGER.

TRANFER DEALINGS
A clear victory for Wenger. With the exception of the occasional dud ( Richard Wright, Franny Jeffers) Wenger is peerless. Anelka in for half million – out for more than 20 mil and replaced by Henry just about sums him up without mentioning Viera, Petit, Pires et al. Fergie has one of the worst records in the Premiership. Can’t be bothered to list all of the flops but chances are you can reel off a few without hesitation. Those that have been succesful have been at the pricey end of the market – Rio, Rooney, Ronaldo, Van Nistleroy etc) Schmeichel and Ole Gunnar apart when was the last time Ferguson bought a player from nowehere for very little?? And how many goalkeepers has he gone through since the Dane left? 12? 13?.
RESULT – WENGER

TROPHIES Yes, alright this is one for Fergie but it took him four years to win the first one and when you consider the money available to him, the supposed prestiege of playing for Manchester United, and the once-in-several-lifetimes great fortune of half a team of world class players coming through from the youth program at the same time, you would have to be a mug to have NO success at all.
RESULT – FERGIE.

PUBLIC PERCEPTION Wenger nicks this one as well – despite his lack of observation at controversial moments. The public just like him better – he is calmer, more eloquent, just a nicer bloke. And he doesn’t resort to the bizarre ‘mental games’ that Fergie thinks he is so good at.
RESULT – WENGER.

TEAM’S ATTRACTIVENESS
(And we’re not talking about the appeal to the laydees) Both managers have been in control of two of the best football-playing teams to grace the prem. Arsenal’s fantastic one touch through the middle game is the equal of United’s flying wingers’ game. Too close to call.
RESULT – DRAW.

So there you have it. Conclusive, inarguable, qualitative and quantitative proof that Wenger is the best of the two by a score of 5-3. However, they both pale ( or will do in a few years time) in comparision with the mighty David Moyes.

May His Ginger Hair Never Go Grey.

Agree with Keith’s process of elimination? Want to write a rebuttal? Email editor@caughtoffside.com