What Could Chelsea Have Done To William Gallas?

For so long, William Gallas was the ultimate “underrated” player at Chelsea. Versatile, world class in multiple positions, and got on with his job with a quiet professionalism that not even the strongest Chelsea critics could find fault with.

But ever since he first got it in his head to abandon Jose Mourinho’s side and ultimated ended up at Arsenal, he hasn’t stopped talking or baiting his former club to respond with equally petty comebacks. And it got rather petty. Now, Gallas has decided to kick it up a notch,

“I want people to know the truth and the only way to do that is go to on TV,” said Gallas in The Sun.

“That way nothing can be misconstrued.”

We’re not sure who was being kept up at night wondering what really happened to William Gallas, but he must have received some pretty poor treatment for him to constantly look for bigger and better ways to have a go at them.

Of course, he could just be a mental, but here’s our best guess at what drove Gallas over the edge during his time with the Premiership champions:

– Known for his flexibility, Gallas demanded to be given the #10 shirt and played in ‘the hole’ and referred to as “The Next Dennis Bergkamp”. Chelsea refused, Arsenal at least considered it.

– Forced to room with Ricardo Carvalho, the notorious voodoo shaman, on away trips. Late night sheep slaughterings and drinking of chicken blood considered unacceptable pre-match conditions for the Frenchman.

– Always gets Tom, the only male masseuse at Chelsea.

– Can’t stand being called “Gallasy” by John Terry.

– Wanted a shedload more money.