New Spurs Player Investigated For Dodgy Video

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You’re a 19 year old player and you’ve just secured a transfer to a Premiership club in January, how would you celebrate?

Well, if you’re Sunderland and soon-to-be Tottenham goalkeeper Ben Alnwick you go and film a sex tape with one woman, who we only hope wasn’t 50 or a dwarf or something, and a bunch of your team mates. Alnwick, Liam Lawrence and Chris Brown decided that if you want to be a Premiership player you can’t just play like one you have to act like one too, much to the disappointment of their club.

Sunderland marketing and communications director Lesley Callaghan, speaking on behalf of the Board, said,

“The behaviour of any individual that adversely affects the image or good name of Sunderland Football Club is obviously disappointing, and we will be handling this matter internally.”

One can only imagine what Roy Keane is thinking…