CaughtOffside is in Tokyo covering the FIFA World Club Cup, the meeting of the top club teams from the 6 continental confederations and general bane of fixture schedulers everywhere.
After fending off numerous ninjas and sumo-wrestling pickpocket robots, we sat down at the stadium with the rest of the media actually willing to attend the opening match between Oceania champs Auckland FC and African champs Al Alhy.
But if you think for a minute that pitting an African club side against amateur-status New Zealand footballers would result in a terrible, poorly played match – you’d be absolutely right. Auckland FC were high on effort and direct play but low on technical skill. The Egyptians were the opposite, with quick one touch passes shifting play from flank to flank. It was like watching Bolton play Arsenal – except everyone was crap and Arsenal actually won.
But the appeal of this tournament isn’t exactly the fierce competition (Barcelona, remember?), so with the January transfer window looking we decided to bring you scouting reports on who might be ready for the Premiership and what kind of job they could do. Remember, these recommendations are only relative to the rest of the players.
Grant Young, Auckland FC
If you judged Young solely on his performance in this match, he would easily play for a mid-table Premiership club as a second striker and playmaker. But if you judged Young on the more important scale of whether he could actually do the same in England’s top flight, it would be akin to putting Pascal Cygan up front. And that’s not because they’re both bald.
Destination: Newcastle. He looks like Antoine Sibierski, forming a very novel and ineffective partnership. He even has 1 cap for South Africa, making him Auckland FC’s most decorated player of all time.
CaughtOffside is in Tokyo covering the FIFA World Club Cup, the meeting of the top club teams from the 6 continental confederations and general bane of fixture schedulers everywhere.
After fending off numerous ninjas and sumo-wrestling pickpocket robots, we sat down at the stadium with the rest of the media actually willing to attend the opening match between Oceania champs Auckland FC and African champs Al Alhy.
But if you think for a minute that pitting an African club side against amateur-status New Zealand footballers would result in a terrible, poorly played match – you’d be absolutely right. Auckland FC were high on effort and direct play but low on technical skill. The Egyptians were the opposite, with quick one touch passes shifting play from flank to flank. It was like watching Bolton play Arsenal – except everyone was crap and Arsenal actually won.
But the appeal of this tournament isn’t exactly the fierce competition (Barcelona, remember?), so with the January transfer window looking we decided to bring you scouting reports on who might be ready for the Premiership and what kind of job they could do. Remember, these recommendations are only relative to the rest of the players.
Grant Young, Auckland FC
If you judged Young solely on his performance in this match, he would easily play for a mid-table Premiership club as a second striker and playmaker. But if you judged Young on the more important scale of whether he could actually do the same in England’s top flight, it would be akin to putting Pascal Cygan up front. And that’s not because they’re both bald.
Destination: Newcastle. He looks like Antoine Sibierski, forming a very novel and ineffective partnership. He even has 1 cap for South Africa, making him Auckland FC’s most decorated player of all time.
Flavio, Al Ahly
See Flavio run. See Flavio dribble around amateur New Zealand players. See Flavio over elaborate time and time again only for the ball to roll away aimlessly after another mazy run. Imagine any Sunday League player who wears silver or white boots – that is Flavio.
Destination: Portsmouth. Dubbed the “Next Eusebio” by us just now, if Harry Redknapp ever saw a highlight video of this guy turning unfit lawyers and accountants inside out it’d only be a matter of time before a bid is made.
So all in all, we were shocked to find that there wasnt a whole lot of Premiership calibre players on show on Matchday 1. And by shocked we mean not surprised in the least. Things should get better as these were widely accepted as the two worst clubs in the tournament, and “The Duck” is still to come.