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Liverpool Answer To No One

From The Terraces publishes unedited submissions we receive from you, the readers. It’s your chance to show us how this football blogging is done right, or to embarass yourself and your ancestors.

Simply write to editor[at]caughtoffside.com and chances are you’ll see your work up on the site, grammatical errors and all.

This time, COS reader Keith is slightly perturbed at what a certain Merseyside team has been getting away with lately. No prizes to guess who he supports…

THE SCENE: Premiership HQ. The phone is ringing. It is answered by some dick.

“Allo zis is Senor Benitez from Mighty Liverpool FC. We ‘ave discovered zat we are unable to catch Manchester United or Chelsea with so few games remaining. We request, zerefore, zat we are given extra games above and beyond what ze other clubs have. Zis will give us a chance of finishing top. Zis is only fair”.

The reply comes, “Oh, right you you are then Senor Benitez. How about another five games.”

” I was zinking more along ze lines of eight games”

” Yes, yes of course. Eight games it is.”

“Zank you. Altho, this means we will have to delay the start of next season untill November, to give our players some rest”

“No problem”

Far fetched? Maybe a few seasons ago I would have thought so too but apparently Liverpool can challenge any law they want and they will succeed.

Finish fifth in the league but still want to enter Champions league? Liverpool did it.

Play a player who has already played for two teams already this season?? Liverpool can do it.

Sign a player AFTER the transfer window closes??? Liverpool can do it.

And don’t you Red Noses come back with any tripe about the Maschereno affair being contrary to European Employment Law. The guy is an Argentinian and, last time I looked Argentina was NOT part of the EU.

[Ed: Oh and Keith, we get a mail delivery problem when trying to respond to your email address. Drop us a note on another one if you have it.]