Menu

Liverpool Can’t Beat Them, Joins Them.

Finally, Liverpool are back where they belong – in American hands.

Wait…that doesn’t sound right at all. Anyway, it seems that the club are set to be taken over by American duo George Gillett and Tom Hicks, who both own NHL “ice” hockey franchises.

We’ll spare you the incredibly boring financial details, but basically they’re promising to assume a bunch of debt and build Liverpool a fancy new 60,000 stadium. Teary-eyed outgoing chairman David Moores blabbed this through a wobbly lip,

‘I believe this is a great step forward for Liverpool, its shareholders and its fans.

‘This club is my passion and forms a huge part of my life. After much careful consideration, I have agreed to sell my shares to assist in securing the investment needed for the new stadium and for the playing squad.

‘I urge all my fellow shareholders to do the same and to support the offer. By doing so, I believe you will be backing the successful future of Liverpool Football Club. ‘I am also delighted to accept the offer from the Hicks and Gillett families to continue my involvement in the club by becoming honorary life president.’

So the next time Liverpool and Chelsea meet, maybe Benitez and Mourinho will have more to talk about than who was shafted by UEFA/FIFA/The Ref/The Linesman/Orphans.