Latest Transfer Rumours: Shevchenko, Emre, Miller, Bellamy, Beckham and Ronaldo

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The world of Premiership transfer rumours is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Here’s our opinion on some of that more interesting nonsense… and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.

Dynamo Kiev want Andriy Shevchenko to quit while he’s behind at Chelsea and head back to their open arms.

CaughtOffside Says: Can’t see it really, he’s got a nice thing going in London as long as Abramovich is in charge. Going back to the Ukraine won’t make people forget he failed in the Premiership, so he may as well stick it out and see if he can “do a Drogba” in his second year.

Newcastle’s Emre does want to make like E.T. though, he’s keen on a move back to Galatasaray.

CaughtOffiside Says: Apparently he misses the “Welcome to Hell” signs, and frequent trips to Hull city centre aren’t cutting it anymore. Oh, and he misses the hilarious racism.

Newcastle are interested Celtic’s former Wolves striker Kenny Miller.

CaughtOffiside Says: On paper, this looks like a shocking signing. Glenn Roeder may be taking the zero-to-hero transfer policy a bit too far.

Craig Bellamy will play the rest of the season for Liverpool, but will be politely asked to leave Anfield this summer after playing 18 holes of golf with
John Arne Riise’s legs

CaughtOffiside Says: Bellamy in controversy shock. Screws up best opportunity of career shock. May benefit from some sort of electro-convulsive therapy shock.

Steve McClaren is considering recalling David Beckham to the England squad, but – and this is the good bit – he wants to see a video of him in action first.

CaughtOffiside Says: Has he not seen enough of him in the last six years??? You can’t decide whether Becks should play for England based on video evidence Steve. He isn’t Theo Walcott. Forget the turgid football and turdy results, Mad Mac should be fired just for this bit of silliness. Well, 90% this and 10% for the teeth.

Patrice Evra has revealed that the Manchester United players call Cristiano Ronaldo “Playboy” because he has his own personal vanity mirror in the Old Trafford dressing room.

CaughtOffiside Says: Not strictly a transfer rumour (ok, not at all a transfer rumour) but we just can’t help but feel documenting Ronaldo’s journey towards Beckhamdome will be relevant to his career at Manchester United one day.