The world of Premiership transfer rumours is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Hereâ€™s our opinion on some of that more interesting nonsenseâ€¦ and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.
Arjen Robben is so unhappy about starting the Carling Cup final on the bench that he’s planning to leave Chelsea this summer. Inter Milan are waiting with open arms.
CaughtOffside Says: It was only the Carling Cup Arjen, relax. Robben rarely does anything but make Chelsea look better when he plays, and given that neither Kalou, Joe Cole, nor SWP are making any impact for various reasons – we can’t see him being allowed to leave.
Jose Mourinho is so unhappy about Roman Abramovich continuing to avoide the Carling Cup celebrations that he’s planning to leave Chelsea this summer. Real Madrid are waiting with open arms.
CaughtOffside Says: It was only the Carling Cup Jose, relax. Maybe Roman doesn’t think it’s worth celebrating. And if Mourinho does go to Madrid, where the board go above the bosses head to sign shirt-selling players, he’ll soon be longing for the days when chairman wasn’t talking to him.
If The Special One does take over at the BernabÃ©u, his first move would be a world record breaking bid for Manchester United’s own special one: Cristiano Ronaldo.
CaughtOffside Says: Would be interesting to see him form some sort of Alex Ferguson Victim’s Anonymous with Van Nistlerooy and Beckham. But if the Glazer’s want to see their club’s legendary manager and fans tear down the stadium by hand, then they should go ahead and sell Ronaldo.
Liverpool’s new owners are ready to part with the 20 million pounds necessary to sign Samuel Eto’o from Barcelona. That’s what? US$3957195 million?
CaughtOffside Says: Certainly this would be the marquee striker that Benitez seems to be searching for, and Eto’o would bring the kind of match changing quality up front that would keep Liverpool in the Premiership hunt beyond the third week of the season.
Arsene Wenger also wants him some Eto’o, but may find Samuel’s little bro Etienne Emmanuel Etoâ€™o, currently of Real Mallorca, more within his price range.
CaughtOffside Says: Little brothers of famous footballers always struggle to live up to the family name (see Neville, P and err… Tim Ronaldo?) but if Wenger’s interested then he’s probably some sort of legendary player in the making.
Bolton’s will soon be receiving a six million pound bid for spittastic striker El Hadji Diouf, from Atletico Madrid no less.
CaughtOffside Says: It’s a lot warmer in Madrid than in the North-West of England, so maybe the heat will dehydrate Diouf and there’ll be no more spitting – although he’d probably just move on to punching orphans in the mouth. And if Bolton can say no to Chelsea for Tal Haim, they can hold onto Diouf.