Barton’s Antics Are Perfectly (Hilariously) Timed

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Things seemed to be going so well for Joey Barton. The Manchester City midfielder had downgraded from sticking lit cigars in people’s eyes to merely pulling down his pants during Premiership matches, and looked to be concentrating on playing well for club and, hopefully, country.

But as with all insane nutters, the red mist has allegedly descended again and Joey B (as his hoodie mates call him) seems to have had an altercation with a taxi driver that required him to be bailed out,

“I can confirm a 24-year-old man, from Widnes, was arrested on suspicion of causing criminal damage and assault,” said a spokeswoman for Merseyside Police.

“He has been bailed until May pending further inquiries.”

Great timing, as Barton had also just finished having a go at some unnamed teammates for lacking the desire to succeed in football, including such now-ironic quotes as,

“I want to play at the highest level and I want to test myself and I don’t think anyone can have any qualms with you for wanting that.

“Whether it’s this season or next season we all have to strive at this football club to achieve it, every single one of us.

“There’s no point me wanting to achieve it and ten others not, and I don’t think that’s the case.

“I think at the minute it’s a case of five or six wanting it and five or six not.

If actions truly do speak louder than words, then what is Joey Barton saying?