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Mido Admits Being Tapped Up

Tottenham striker and part-time obese person Mido has admitted he will have to continue his career elsewhere if his situation at Spurs does not improve,

“I was unfortunate with the injuries I had,” Mido told Dream TV.

“Every time I play and put in a good display an injury strikes me to halt my progress with Spurs.

“The form of Berbatov has also been impressive and that’s another reason for my limited appearances.”

He added: “I will sit down with Martin Jol at the end of the season to discuss all possibilities.

“I’m not that sort of player who wants to just receive money no matter if he is playing or not, I’m keen on participating on a regular basis.

“I have two good offers from Manchester City and Celta Vigo. PSV Eindhoven coach Ronald Koeman phoned me and expressed his interest as well.”

Nothing outrageous there, other than admitting that Ronald Koeman tapped him up – which Martin Jol might not be best pleased about.

He’s being honest and it’s hard to disagree with him. The speed with which Berbatov has settled into the Premiership and Mido’s injuries have certainly been a factor. But it’s really the Egyptian’s inability not to be fat that’s the problem. He’s looked good and fit when playing regularly, but once he’s hurt for a few weeks or doesn’t play much he immediately balloons to about 400lbs and apparently stops shaving or showering.

This makes him arguably the worst sort of backup striker to have, but if Manchester City, Newcastle, Everton or even Blackburn are looking for a quality Premiership target man to start for them then they’d just need to see his debut against Portsmouth to see why he was given a second chance by Spurs. As long as they play him. Because he’ll get fat otherwise.