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Michael Owen To Be Crap For Longer

Newcastle may be going bananas at the FA for additional compensation due to Michael Owen’s excessive medical bills, but the former Liverpool and Real Madrid chap came out yesterday with what he clearly felt are some comforting words for his club and fans,

“I know for a fact that when I was 17 or 18 there wasn’t anybody quicker than me in the league,” Owen told The People.

“In my heart of hearts I know I’m not as quick as I was then, but I’m quicker than I have been for the last two or three years and I can do more.

“People will find it difficult to knock me off the ball, they can’t shoulder-barge me too easily because I am low and nippy. Having speed and agility is good, but strength is important, too.”

“Lots of people can come back from a cruciate injury, but not many people come back better from a cruciate injury. I don’t think it has been a blessing in disguise – I know it has.

“I am positive this break has happened for a reason and it will prolong my career and allow me to play into my mid-30s rather than my early 30s.”

So while Freddy Shepard and the Geordie faithful may be angry that they’re missing out on seeing Owen at his prime in the Premiership, they can take heart that they could get a few extra years out of him at the end of his career when he’s neither fast, nor strong, nor very effective probably – great for Michael and his bank balance, not so sure about Newcastle. And that’s if he’s still at the club.

So everyone should be happy now, right?