Latest Transfer Rumours: Chelsea, West Ham, Aston Villa, Everton, Portsmouth, Manchester City, Blackburn, Bolton, Fulham and Derby

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The world of Premiership transfer gossip is full of nonsense, but some nonsense is more interesting that the other nonsense. Speculation is rife in the likes of the Mirror, Daily Mail, Times, Sun and… err… Tribal Football all do their best to predict and/or completely make up the future.

Here’s our opinion on the Premiership transfer rumours we’ve read in the papers and around the net… and if you have any thoughts, pop em in the comments.

CaughtOffside Says: Bollocks. Only a two bit hack would cover this story… oops!

Everton have been stunned by Manuel Fernandes’ decision to join Valencia – just 24 hours after he was a guest at their game with Blackburn.

CaughtOffside Says: So close! Moyes has made some nice signings this summer although we can’t remember any other than Yakubu. So maybe they were crap. But Fernandes would’ve been a much welcome bit of energy to a tiring engine room (Lee Carsley turns 74 on Tuesday).

Aston Villa have offered £7m for Werder Bremen defender Per Mertesacker.

CaughtOffside Says: Crazy! But clearly between Davies and Mersutuairuaker a center back is on the list for Villa.

Newcastle have agreed a £2m-plus deal to sign Abdoulaye Faye from Bolton – and will pay him £40,000-a-week.

CaughtOffside Says: Great business for Faye, terrible for anyone else.

Sunderland boss Roy Keane will sign Stoke’s Danny Higginbotham and Southampton striker Kenwyne Jones, while also offering a contract to Ian Harte.

CaughtOffside Says: Hahahaha “Higginbotham” sounds like “Fingerinbottom”!

Portsmouth are set to sign Bolton’s Nicolas Anelka for £9m and Fulham’s Papa Bouba Diop for £3m.

CaughtOffside Says: Smart Harry. Anelka will tie that attack together nicely and Diop is a vastly underrated passer in additional to his obvious physical presence. If Pompey can close this they’ll have to be very disappointed to miss out on a UEFA place come May.

Harry Redknapp will try to sell striker David Nugent to Derby or Middlesbrough to fund his new signings.

CaughtOffside Says: What???

West Ham are mulling over a fresh £8m offer for Blackburn striker Benni McCarthy.

CaughtOffside Says: Hmm, somehow we don’t think that will be enough.

Aston Villa are tracking Chelsea defender Glen Johnson.

CaughtOffside Says: Too bad Johnson doesn’t track his man. Zing!!

Fulham have bid £1.3m for Derby County striker Steve Howard, but have had a £250,000 bid for Port Vale keeper Joe Anyon, 20, rejected.

CaughtOffside Says: Yeah, that’ll stave off relegation for sure.

Clubs including Everton, Fulham, Man City and Derby are scrambling to sign Celtic striker Kenny Miller.

CaughtOffside Says: Why? He’s crap. Well, not really. But calling people crap makes us feel good about ourselves.