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Arsenal: Bye Bye “Lame-Hands”

The Times is today reporting that Jens ‘Lame-hands’ Lehmann, can no longer regard himself as Arsene’s top pick for the goalkeeping slot.

This not so shocking news comes after Jens made it two out of two in his first couple of outings this season against Fulham and Blackburn. No, not two clean sheets out of two games; two horrendous goofs in his first two games, and Arsene is only doing what the rest of the world think is fluorescently obvious – dropping him so he can think about what he’s done.

Lehmann has a convenient “Achilles injury”, perhaps brought on by the shock of being dropped, and according to The Times Arsenal will listen to offers for him.

Wenger said of this matter:

“I don’t know how long Lehmann will be out…He’s never happy when he’s injured and he’s never happy when he’s not playing. But you asked me to say something that I can never say. You asked me to give a message to Almunia that, no matter how he plays after a few games, he will be automatically out. You can never say that; that means his performance is not important. We are in a competitive world. Of course, at the start of the season, you have a No 1 and then a No 2 comes in and you have to give him a chance. I think Almunia is good enough to give me a problem. You go from game to game and there is no guarantee for anybody.”

I worked hard on translating this cryptic message from the Frenchman, put in succinct form Arsene is telling Lehmann to sling his hook. Surely Jens, you knew that your gaffe laden displays would one day annoy your manager to the point of promoting your understudy? When your club has to rely on Manuel “Gaff-a-minute” Almunia then you know you’ve cocked up royally.