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Chelsea Star Begged To Leave The Club

Would you leave Chelsea if they did your laundry AND made you breakfast (lovingly) every day? German superstar and sometime loon Steffan Effenberg has begged Michael Ballack to come home to Germany and says that Ballack’s Chelsea teammates have turned on him (perhaps like rabid dogs, but he didn’t specify).

Effenberg barked:

“I do not believe that Ballack has a future with Chelsea any more. If so important a player is not nominated for the Champions League, that says everything about his value.”

Effenberg then closed his eyes and imagined what could be happening to his friend:

“I do not know what exactly happened there, but I can imagine that influential fellow players made a stand against him.Chelsea do not want Ballack any more. They have shown that openly. If nothing fundamental changes in his situation, he must look around for alternatives and then ask in the winter for his release.”

It remains to be seen how Ballack responds do this, maybe he likes it at the Bridge, and perhaps he has been inspired by the (far more interesting) story of the couple who spent 22 years in a Travelodge motel because they couldn’t be arsed to do the cooking or laundry.

Who knows, who cares, it’s International Week. Pass us the valium.