HOT Rumours; Arsenal , Liverpool, Chelsea, Man Utd

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If the scintillating news yesterday wasn’t enough for you, here we bring you yet more red-hot rumours, so hot in fact that lots of the people in question are sweating.

– Michael Ballack is going to need a fresh operation on his ankle (Daily Telegraph) , and Germany manager – standing up for his boy Ballack – is heading for “showdown” talks over the disgusting treatment that poor Michael has received at evil Chelsea (The Times). I’m thinking of informing Amnesty International…
– Man Utd are sweating profusely over the fitness of two major players (Setanta Sports). Oh wait, those two players in question are John O’Shea and Darren Fletcher(!). What a loss.
– Arsenal are handing in their excuses nice and early. They are sweating even more profusely than Man Utd with Gallas ,Senderos, Eboue, and Lehmann (Various). The Arsenal staff are optimistic though, and are clinging to Bacary Sagna’s fitness like a life-raft in stormy waters.
– Wayne Rooney is sweating on his England future, especially as Steve McClaren doesn’t know what the Dickens to do with him! (The Sun)
– Roy Keane is have a jolly old sniff around Arsenal’s Nicklas Bendtner, and is enjoying the sweet aromas, he obviously uses a hearty deodorant. (Mirror)
– A Big Sam – Little Sam Queensbury Rules punch-up could be beckoning with both Sams after Norwegian defender Brede Hangeland (Daily Mirror).
– France boss Raymond Domenech believes that they were a tad foolish for encouraging thousands of sweaty Scots to come to the Parc des Princes. (Daily Record)
– The sweaty brawl (Snakes on a Plane homage) between Northern Ireland players started because of another player’s passport(!) (The Times)
– Rafa Benitez has compiled a dossier on the fixture outrages against his club, and is brandishing them in his
– And finally…Arsenal are no longer sweating on Arsene (and it has nothing to do with Nicklas Bendtner’s deodorant recommendations), he has pledged himself to Arsenal for life! (Various).