That’s what she said last night!
Toothy part boy Ronaldinho, has agreed on a Â£58m deal to go to Stamford Bridge, but still has decide whether he actually wants to join them. (The Sun)
In between mourning for Mourinho, Didier Drogba has asked to move to AC Milan. (Various)
Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood has described Chelsea chief executive Peter Kenyonâ€™s plans for world domination in one word. Bullsh*t. (Various)
Middlesbrough, left with a horrific list of injuries made worse by the sale of Viduka and the Yak in the summer will try and grab free agent John Aloisi, in a desperate bid to have a decent fit striker at the club, their only current fit striker being Dong-Gook Lee. Poor bastards. (Daily Mirror)
Spurs boss Martin Jol has been on the phone with Premier League lawyers and has already negotiated a Â£4m pay-off, after apparently accepting that he will be sacked imminently. (Various)
John Terry is in trouble for grabbing at ref Mike Dean’s hand as he pulled out a red card meant for convicted nutter Mikel Jon Obi at Old Trafford. (Daily Mail)
Michael Owen is going to be crocked for England’s Euro 2008 qualifiers against Estonia and Russia, giving Steve McClaren a ready made excuse, and Michael Owen a chance for yet more â€œr&râ€. (Daily Mail) â€¦.Big Sam thinks differently, he says Owenâ€™s persistent groin injury just needs a good old fashioned rest for 10 days and heâ€™ll be fineâ€¦. (The Sun) â€¦.And Dean Ashton thinks he can fill Michael Owenâ€™s child sized boots and bag a cap or two for England. (The Times)
David Moyes has expressed shock that lazy goal machine Yakubu isnâ€™t working harder, whilst teammate and speedster Andy Johnson is still leaving a trail of homesickness rumours in his wake. (Various)
Former Israel star Eyal Berkovic has expressed his utter disgust with Avram Grant and the way Chelsea treated Mourinho. (The Sun)
Read more about Arsenal gossip in the Arsenal section.