Another Day, Another Dutchman for Chelsea Owner

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Ahhhh…So that’s who you wanted! After Chelsea launched a fierce denial that they ever wanted Marco VanBasten, another Dutchman, Guus Hiddink has stepped out of the shadows to proclaim – I am the messiah that Stamford Bridge needs! Another day, another Dutchman linked to the Chelsea job almost certainly because Roman heard of some ‘Total Football’ lark that sounds like it might be fun to watch.

Hiddink said:

“Abramovich asked me ‘What do you want?’. I told him that right now I want to do nothing else except concentrate on Russia. I want to see this through now and then see what happens. We like living in Moscow and they seem to like us,”

All this is very murky indeed considering that Roman pays half Hiddink’s 1.2 million pounds-a-year wages for Russia. Chelsea may have to wait quite a while for Hiddink and is Abramovich, who is increasingly resembling spoilt brat Veruca Salt, prepared to wait that long?

The Russian has been seen exclaiming “I want him now!” and even breaking out into song:

No, now!!

I want a ball
I want a party
Pink macaroons and a million balloons
And performing baboons and …
Give it to me
Rrhh rhhh

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It’s my bar of chocolate
Give it to me

I want today
I want tomorrow
I want to wear ’em like braids in my hair
And I don’t want to share ’em

I want a party with room fulls of laughter
Ten thousand tons of ice cream
And if I don’t get the things I am after
I’m going to scream!

I want the works
I want the whole works
Presents and prizes and sweets and surprises
Of all shapes and sizes
And now
Don’t care how
I want it now
Don’t care how
I want it now

Lets hope the Oompa Loompas don’t punish him too much.