Chelsea’s John Terry Replaces Tottenham Fans As Most Fickle Thing In The Universe

Posted by

John Terry has had enough of the footballing world’s obsession with all things nether-region. First Sir Alex gets hoofed in the testicles, then Alex Hleb gets assaulted in his nads and on the same weekend Michael Owen boasts about his amazing rebuilt bionic crotch. Terry prefers not to talk balls, and instead likes to change his tune drastically to get the press attention.

When the BBC’s gorgeous and intelligent strumpet Gabby Logan interviewed John Terry in April of this year he laid it on thick with regards to his then Manager, Jose Mourinho. Terry said:

“It’s honestly everything about the man. First and foremost he is a great man as well, on a personal one-to-one basis he’s always there for you. His door is always open both on a personal level and football level. Tactically he’s so spot on. We have team meetings, he doesn’t waffle on. He says ten-minute meeting I want you to concentrate. That’s it.”

One sacking and a couple of weeks of grieving later, the loyal and devoted captain is singing the praises of underqualified undertaker Avram Grant and Mourinho is all but a memory. Terry told Sky Sports:

“He’s definitely the man for the future, and you can see we were always going to have that first week or two where it didn’t go as well as we liked, but he’s putting his thoughts and feelings on to the training pitch and we’re developing that in the matches.He’s the right man in charge and everybody has to get behind him. There’s always a lot more to come from Chelsea..The lads fully respect him, are fully behind him and we’re happy with him.”

So who cares about Mourinho, he was crap anyway! All hail Emperor Grant!